Complaints

Orwell wrote:Hey! I thought Mrs Figg was a Bree-lander? What's this King Under the Mountain rubbish?

That's how the default rank system in Forumshire works. Unless you request a custom rank you proceed through a series of pre-set ranks (of which Bree-lander is one, though this name predates the very existence of the Bree-land forum itself) until you reach 500 posts and the honored distinction of "Wannabe Beard".

Bree-land Eel-Wrangler surely?

It's up to her but I think that one fits.

Have some bollocks, Eldo. Change it to "Bree-lander"and NOW. I am, after all, Most Popular Male, and I think what I say should have some currency here, don't you think?

I'm off --- to West Ozhobbitstan... May not been in Forumshire for a week (though COULD poss pop in, don't know yet). I'm confident my Popularity won't suffer... It's only a week.

... though you guys DO have short attention spans... ....... ....... .......

Well, Sweet Eru eat my pants! I've just heard there's going to be a Banks Family and Friends Convention in Western Ozhobbitstan while I'm over there.... Gor blimey stone the crows....

Orwell wrote:Have some bollocks, Eldo. Change it to "Bree-lander"and NOW. I am, after all, Most Popular Male, and I think what I say should have some currency here, don't you think?

No, I don't think so.

I hope you have a good trip! We'll look forward to seeing your, er, peeling face on Forumshire again soon.

"I've just heard there's going to be a Banks Family and Friends Convention in Western Ozhobbitstan"- Orwell

Well thats a coincidence and no mistake! So not only will we be without your 'popular' input for a week we will be devoid of the Banks Family too? What's the chances of that eh?

Pettytyrant101 wrote:"I've just heard there's going to be a Banks Family and Friends Convention in Western Ozhobbitstan"- Orwell

Well thats a coincidence and no mistake! So not only will we be without your 'popular' input for a week we will be devoid of the Banks Family too? What's the chances of that eh?

Indeed, whatever are the chances of that ocurring?

They're pretty good, apparently.

That coincidence was good enough for Jehovah!

I'm off to clean the roof guttering and mow the grass. ... and if you guys have any fun while I'm gone, I'm gonna be as mad as Jehovah at an Istarte festival when I get back! Just see if I'm not!

Is he gone? Ive got the Bouncy Castle and the sponges ready!

I think hes gone to clean the roof guttering on his bouncy castle, I imagine orwell living in a bouncy castle, with bouncing Roos in the garden, and bouncing babes in the jacuzzi. just bouncin..

Mrs Figg wrote:bouncing babes in the jacuzzi. just bouncin..

Bouncing inflatable babes, maybe, if you take my meaning.

If your going to mow the back lawn you might not hear them knocking on your front door.

Thay explains everything, Chris! All my female fans come knocking when I'm down the back... My Missus never mentioned that! Explains ever so much about my extra-marital love life... Who can you trust when you can't trust your own Missus?

Better hope there ain't no 'tradesmen' turning up at the front door whilst your down the back garden Orwell, all noise drowned out by the sound of the mower, and your poor missus all alone answering doors in her negligiglees

And me, I thought she was just a lot happier because I'd mowed?

Never go in by the tradesmans entrance. Thats my advice for the day.

Oh dear, I am in and out of Queen Tin's Tradesmen Entrance all the time*





*its how I get to the buckie cellars and for some reason you never see Beren down there!

Orwell wrote:Thay explains everything, Chris! All my female fans come knocking when I'm down the back... My Missus never mentioned that! Explains ever so much about my extra-marital love life... Who can you trust when you can't trust your own Missus?

Was actually talking about J.W's knocking on your front door.

J.W's! So that's what they're up to... dallying with men's wives! ... Mmm... that would make them very un-Godly... Oh that's not so bad then... 'cept - I don't want them dallying with MY wife!!! (Unfaithful wives are the ruin of the world, come to think).

I have managed to get my name all over the front page of Forumshire. My complaint: Other people post and wreck it all!

What? Like this?

And I thought you a friend --- how wrong could I be?