Complaints

hey! what the? Footprints in my dust? Girl-sized!

hey - and what's that square of cleaness under the bed? oh my oh my oh my...

where is it?... where is it?

Odo how do I switch this damn thing back off?! Its been out the family so long we've forgotten the magic words! Please, I'll even lend you it back, for a bit, but make it stop there's coal everywhere, quick before all of Forumshire looks like Wales!!!!

Shall I hack it and make it stop? My handy Tech Powers should be able to do something about it...

It's not a "technological" device, Baingil!

Now, Mr Tyrant, if you drop by the Duck and Muck at midnight, a couple of hours after closing, you'll meet a certain... mysterious person... clad in a dark cloak with his scarf concealing his face... don't be afraid... he'll deal with the matter... Don't bring anyone else with you... may.. err.. interfere with the... um.... magic....

I know it's not a technological device but this interface handles magical stuff, too. Well, not totally, but it does it well enough to offer some rudimentary control over magical objects, such as shutting them off and everything... It shouldn't be surprising; after all, technology has advanced to the degree that we may now create within an instant a way to view a place as it was at that instant, then send it to a person halfway across the world in the next instant using the very air and perhaps some delicate tubes of metal as its channel. Take that description and put it back 200 years ago, and it would be called magic.

Mmm the Duck and Muck. Not much of the former and a lot of the latter!
Right just wait behind this tree here.....ooh kicking out time....is that Porgy? Wonder if ole Wisey knows she's out, and whose that, ah they've started singing the Hedgehog Song, must be Kafria...yup there she goes the Veno de Motherhood...and whose that drunkenly following her? hah its Orwell, pathetic really...ooh she's spotted him and, yup, he's in the pig mud, maybe Pseudo-Kafria will come and rescue him! Still no sign of any mysterious strangers in a dark cloak and scarf, come on Odo I've got a coal mountain here....**WHACK*** ooooh look at the pretty stars and how they spin!!!.........

{{{hee hee hee hee hee hee}}}

*sees the incident from a mysterious shadow*
*sees Petty being dragged away by a hooded figure*

Noooooooooo!!!!
Petty!!!!!!!

*runs after*
*grabs Petty's foot*
*shoe comes off in hand*
Damn it!
*has an idea*

*chucks shoe at person carrying Petty away*
Yay!! He's down!
*lifts the hood from the mysterious person*
*gasps* It's Odo!!
*takes magic undoing spell from Odo's pocket*

*finds ice*
*pours it on Petty*
*waits for Petty to wake up*

ODO!!!!! If I find out you've stolen my cloak again to do mischeif, I promise I'll tell Beren and there won't be a safe place for you in all of forumshire!!!

So many versions of events! I saw the Archet Bugle version on Wholesome Threads! It differs markedly from both yours, Squach, and Petty's too! What version am I to believe?

What the? Water? You woke me up with water Squach and not buckie?! Ah well. What um happened? Aha, a magical undoing spell- I can use it on the scuttle. Well done Squach. Good work. Um, where's the scuttle? Where is it?! Argh, where's my bloody scuttle gone?!!!

Returned to the rightful owners, that's what! And fairly and reasonably recovered too. {{{ }}}

Hmmmmm... sorry Petty, I'm not sure where your coal scuttle is!
I tried, I really did. Sorry.

Wait a second - I smell a fire burning!!

Not your fault Squach- you did your best but those Bankses have always been a devious, sneaky bunch under the front of respectability. You can't be blamed for the loss of the coal scuttle, although I am going to blame you, obviously.

ps likeing the sig- I'm not a screaming girl but I'd happily settle for him doing a belly flop off the top of any high building.

I like Beiber. So much better than Neil...

Neil who?

Diamond, obviously...

Obviously...????

No, obviously not Diamond, and I strongly suspect you know the joke so let's just stop it here huh?

I'm going for Armstrong.

(Is there a prize to the winner? Buckie for preference)

Neil Young?

Neil from the Young Ones?

I have a complaint! Boy do I have a !**@#! complaint! More than a week in the bloody Lockholes! Petty! PETTY! When I get a hold of you....and you before you go getting all smug about this Eldo you better not come anywhere near either. Why wasn't I let out sooner?
When I get hold of you two I am going to grab you by the !@#!* tie them together in a knot, take you to the top of the Tower of Lore and use them as a !*@!*#! bungee cord.

{{{SShhh Eldo! It's me. I'm in a cunning halloween disguise, I suggest you do the same. I think it best for all of Forumshire if you re-arrest Pretty post haste and put her back in the Lockholes. And check the walls are thick, then maybe build another, even thicker wall around the first wall. I'm thinking only for the general good and law and order of Forumshire and for our particulars, in um, particular.
Yours in hiding and extreme brown trousersedness, Petty}}}

Eldo and Petty deserve severe punishment, Pretty... But no doubt they'll continue to get away with their lax Administration.... Always do.