Complaints

Saradoc wrote:(I don't have the authority mind, but I was simply assuming that you were allowed. You might want to request the permission of a more respectable member)

You can complain about anything you like. Welcome to the forum!

Thank you!

I'd like to register a complaint to the forumshire Freedom of Choice Board Commitee. Surely in our free society we should be entitled to a choice of more than one newspaper?

Saradoc wrote:I'd like to register a complaint to the forumshire Freedom of Choice Board Commitee. Surely in our free society we should be entitled to a choice of more than one newspaper?

Hmm, now that is a conundrum!

You are of course correct that in a free society there should be freedom of choice when it comes to news and information, but at the same time, our forum is one of free enterprise. So far only the Archet Bugle has chosen to exercise that freedom to create a forum newspaper. So unless you want government intervention and State News, I'm afraid the only solution is to hope that some entrepeneur will establish a competitor.

ANTIPODEAN LATISH MORNING EDITION


SCOTSHOBBIT LET'S SLIP WITH "GOMETORY."

Crabby raconteur and Scotshobbit-about-town, Mr Petty Tyrant, has gone on Public Record as saying, "Gometory", which no one in Forumshire has ever heard of. I have checked with Wisey Banks who has channelled up this response:

"Oh I'm goin' down to Gometory,
Gometory, me Lassie,
I'll be dancin' with Errol Flynn,
And also Shirley Bassey."

Wisey then informed the Bugle that the rest of that song is Unprintable. One can imagine the kind of place that is. Not surprising, as it appears to be in Egypt.

Hoary Hardbuckle - Chief Reporter

SPORTS REPORT

The Hobbiton Crosseyes defeated the Brandywine Brawlers 3 - 1 in the latest Boringfootball clash held at the Bywater Reserve. No one was injured but several players pretended to be.

Norby Anklegrinder won the Took Golf Cup - by half a head.

Broto Jockstrapper - Sports Writer


GIRLS WANTED

We require pretty young lasses to become our page three girls. (Only wholesome Fully Dressed girls need apply).

Nerdy Needlesumthin - Social Commentator



Elephants come in herds, don't they?

Rumor has it that a new newspaper has made an appearance. I wonder what it's called? This new newspaper will have lots of cool stuff that only the coolest people will post and only the coolest people will read.

BOYS WANTED
JLS and Taylor Launtner look-alikes wanted for our coolest person of the week!

WORDSEARCH

(invisible wordsearch, so only the cool people with invisible eyesight can see)

Colour of the minute!

Our colour of the minute is..... CYAN!!!
Well Done all of those who voted for CYAN

Hobbit Goss

OFFICIAL COOLEST NEWSPAPER OF THE CENTURY!

Our newspaper has just been informed that it is the coolest newspaper of the century. We are delighted that so many of you brill Hobbit fans voted for us!
Reported by hcauqS

MIDMORNING IN ANTIPODEA

FORUMSHIRE POWERS-THAT-BE ALLOW RIDICULOUS NEW RIDICULOUS BROADSHEET

LATE IN. Hoary Hardbuckle has made this statement: "Media Watchdog goes Barking Mad." As our Loyal readership will be aware, a new (pathetic) broadsheet has appeared in Forumshire. Our Free Advice to current subscibers of this YOUR own Older and more Esteemable Journal is: "Don't bother with Unrespectable Modern Shiny-new Claptrap." Stick with the Only Journal that has served your needs and Kept You Abreast with the Most Serious News that's Good for You, accurately reported.

Hoary Hardbuckle - Chief Reporter


Elephants stamp on Ants.

Elephants stamp on Ants.

Yeah, but elephants are scared of Mice!

ANTIPODEAN LATEST

RESPECTABLE HOBBITS COME OUT IN SUPPORT

While it is clear OUTRAGEOUS claims are being made in regard to the popularity of the "Hobbit Goss" ( a disreputable broadsheet which we at the Bugle refuse to mention by name) The Bugle will only report THE FACTS.

Word on the Street.

Mirabella Banks: "I read The Bugle every morning. It's not as glossy as a certain other paper, nor as "hip", nor does it have as many colours, but... well, The Archet Bugle is what my Uncle Odo reads.

Odo Banks: "I refuse to read any of the local newspapers. Scurrilous rubbish.... though I do like the colours on the new rag."

Wisey Banks: "I don't read newspapers, but if I did, it would surely be The Archet Bugle."

Porgy Bunk: "I wish I could read because I'm sure if I could read I could read a newspaper."

Grey Pilgrim: "Rubbbish. It's all rubbish. I don't know why you people bother."

Gandalf's Beard: "It's the Bugle for me." (Anticipated reply).

Petty Tyrant: "Och the nee nelly noo." (Translation: "Yes, me too." Anticipated reply).

Eldorion: "The Bugle is clearly the more Serious and Weighty Journal. It's Loremastery, unequalled. (Anticipated reply).

Kafria: "As an English teacher - and mother - I certainly would reccommend The Archet Bugle, both for it's educational value and it's High Moral Fibre." (Anticipated reply).

Ringdrotten: "If I wasn't from Norway, I'd certainly read the Bugle, but we only have Danish papers here." (Anticipated reply).

Tinuviel: "The Bugle has an Immortal Quality." (Anticipated reply).

Chris: "If only I wasn't lost, I'd be reading The Archet. Absolutely!" (Anticipated reply).

Need I go on?

"Stay Loyal, Stay Strong, Stay True."

Hoary Hardbuckle - Chief Reporter.


Elephants tell no lies.

"Ringdrotten: "If I wasn't from Norway, I'd certainly read the Bugle, but we only have Danish papers here." (Anticipated reply)."- the Archet Bugle

I anticipate rage and fury as a suitable reply! Danish!

The Bugle is clearly the more Serious and Weighty Journal. It's Loremastery, unequalled.

Alas, I no longer feel anger - only pain. The ignorance of my fellow Norwegians (or at least, that is what they call themselves - ruddy hypocrites ) tears me apart It is long since I had any hope

LATER YET

BUGLE SUSPECTS BLATANT SELF-PROMOTION

As has Always been the case, we at the Bugle will always Point Out those who outrageously Self-promote. While everyone knows that our renowned resident, Gandalfs Beard, is a Horn Blower from way back, it now comes to pass that Someone Else, might be Blowing his/her Own Horn! Word on the Street suggests that a Certain Young Girl has been Boosting her Ego in a Certain scurrilous broadsheet by the name "Hobbit Goss." Our imputation is that this Shady Forumshirerer has created a "Pretend" Newspaper (Hobbit Goss) i.e. one that doesn't Actually exist, being merely a Scam (and possibly a Spam), and with the intention to Blatantly Self Promote. Of course, we at the Bugle Absolutely Abhor this kind of behaviour. Multiplying one's personalities on any Forum is Disgraceful! Doing it so you can brag is even worse! "Squach is coolest"!!! We can only hope our Serious Allegation isn't true, for how unrespectable it would be if it WAS true!

Hoary Hardbuckle.

Elephants crush Bad Mother

When travelling I never leave without my copy of the Bugle. Its excellent in emergencies and the paper is nice and soft.

Elephants crush Bad Mother .

GB I need that rolling on the floor laughing smilie please!!

I don't know what everyone else is thinking, but I can't help thinking myself that Hoary Hardbuckle and his Team seem - and I do not really wish to cast aspersions - well... somewhat "hypocritical.":-Jane

I want to complain about how many posts I have to read on this thread just to catch up on the last 24 hours.

And Greetings to all newcomers . I hope you enjoy Anarchy as much as we do!!!

GB

I would like to complain that i haven't got a quote on that silly Archet Bugle thingy

"Elephants crush Bad Mother"

Well then an elephant can't crush my mum cos she isn't bad!

Kafria: "As an English teacher - and mother - I certainly would reccommend The Archet Bugle, both for it's educational value and it's High Moral Fibre." (Anticipated reply). - by the Archet Bugle

There are a few things wrong with this.

My mum is a science teacher.

Why are almost all of those quotes 'anticipated replies'?

Because the author of the replies made them up based on what he thought we would say

Ringdrotten wrote:Because the author of the replies made them up based on what he thought we would say

And he was right! At least in my case.

Squach wrote:I would like to complain that i haven't got a quote on that silly Archet Bugle thingy

I think that's because the Bugle people assumed that the creator of the Hobbit Goss wouldn't come out in support of the competing paper.