Complaints

Poor Petty.

Personally, with Mr Tyrant's connection with those ghastly Scotshobbit rags, he deserves all he gets!

"Ooo so pleased to meet you, Lady Tinoovial! I've never met a real queen before... and I'm told Petty doesn't count"

Nicet to meet you too, perhaps I could give you a couple lessons on... umm...queenly behaviors Men just LOVE fine, respectable, conservative young women who where nice turtlenecks and skirts down to their ankles
ESPECIALLY Odo, because he just can't get enough respectability

Really folks, you should have waited untill the Queen spoke to you! I'm very sorry Ma'am or Queen Tin, or your majesty!

So long as the skirt covers the ankle, Tin, all is well with what you said. At last, a Respectable Girl on the forum. And it's good to see you know your place, Ally. Hope burns eternal, they say.

Well, from now own, it's your majesty. then Ma'am. Only close friends may call me Tin. Understood?

Oh I do apologise, your Majesty!

Do I count as a close friend.

Buckie suppliers surely count as friends?! After all - 'Your Majesty,Ma'am, Tinuviel' - is a bit of a mouth full when your several sheets to the wind! Therefore I request a royal exepction to continue calling you Tin which is so short even buckie doesn't get in its way.

I would like to complain about all this royalty talk! We fought a revolution to get rid of this sort of thing!

There we must disagree I'm afraid, my new friend. For I'm an old school hobbit. And as Elizabeth II is (as I presume) a descendant (presumably through the female line, and that through the German line but hopefully not that of Kaiser Bill) of Aragorn, then I remain a Royalist. Of course, I believe strongly in Democracy too. My Elizabeth is a figure head, a queen in a fairytale sense (for us old romantic fairytalists), and a nice (though firm when needed) old lady to boot, who I can admire without geting too carried away about it. As to William and Kate, such a lovely fairytale romance too... Ahhh young love! Aren't we Fantasists, we Tolkienites, all Princes and Princesses at heart? Of course we are!!

"Do I count as a close friend?" -Eldo
Yes, of course. You are Sir Eldorion, Loremaster and Administrator of Forumshire
Then there is Sir Petty, Scottshobbit and Ambassador of Forumshire (and underground Buckie supplier)
Then, there is Squire Odo Banks, Patriarch of the Banks Clan and Sheriff of the Respectability Police.

All others will first address me as "Your fine nosed majesty", then the next sentence, Ma'am. (That is what I meant previously!)

And all will hail to King Beren as well! Unless I say otherwise of course!!!!

Any other loyal members of Forumshire may win my affections by proving yourself worthy to be knighted.

(And my realm includes the U.S. of A. Considering I have a private residence in Hawaii that Beren and I sneak off to every now and again... BUT THAT IS CLASSIFIED!)

"Considering I have a private residence in Hawaii that Beren and I sneak off to every now and again... BUT THAT IS CLASSIFIED!'- Tin

Better hope the NotP is still undergoing difficulties Tin you know what they are like, they will have the long lens palantarrazi out after you!!

Yes, yes, I'm well aware, but the fact is, they will never be able to find it! Because I had the Queen Mother put up another magic sheild, so no one can get inside!!!!!
(except for Beren that is....)

Only wise, your Majesty, only wise:-Jane

One day those dreaded journalists - nay, those muckrakers and muckmakers - those friends of Mr Tyrant - those liars and distorters will be destroyed, and utterly, as Eru is my Witness! (((For those in the know - )))

Ah yes! My dear Jane! you will become part of my court! As well as any other lady of high honor who shows such respect to me as you have

As you will, your Majesty... (...err... but Jane? )

Squire Banks, are you having second thoughts about where your allegiances lie??????????? If so, I'm sure Beren or one of my other Valinorian friends would love to remind you

oops! Yes, your Majesty.... sadly I'm off to work... no time just now for allegiances... no, not just now... but what about Wednesday... yes, Wednesday... perhaps... I'm not avoiding anything though, your Majesty...





((( )))

"One day those dreaded journalists - nay, those muckrakers and muckmakers - those friends of Mr Tyrant"-- Odo

Once and for all they are NOT my friends- merely suppliers of buckie for services rendered (delivery and advertising mainly). If you have a problem with NotP Odo I suggest you write them a strongly worded letter- I am sure they will be grateful as noone ever bothers writing to them (leading to the recent unfortunate 'accident' at their offices).

Right deliovery day, whats this, where the heck is Hawai, Hawwii, nevber heard of it, thats the trouble with Forumshire its hard to navigate, worse then L-space in here. Lets see 40 crates of buckie- thats a lot, ah must be for Beren, he must gbe at this Hawaa place........thats odd, sure this is the place but there's nothing here but palm trees and locals.
'No its not a skirt- thats a skirt what your wearing my dear lady, that grass thing- this is a kilt. No kilt does not mean skirt!! Hey, put those down, those aren't yours. Hey don't open that. Stop it, what are you doing? Dont pour it into your oversized nuts! Come on! What? Well ok? A little. Mmmm, actually thats quite good, buckie and coconut, think I've invented a new drink here. Wonder if I can market it. Buckie-tropicano!'

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was a bad night. WAYYYYYY to much Buckie. What's this??? A banner? "All Hail Queen Tin" ??????????
ALRIGHT! Who's spiked my buckie with athelas and longbottom leaves/?????????
Is somebody trying to stir the pot here? Who knows what I've said! I could've started a whole rebellion for all I know!'
This happens much too often! the athelas mixed with the buckie makes one delusional, and the longbottom leaves enhance the symptoms. someone's trying to make me do their dirty work, ruining the peace of the forum. I'm tired of it!!!!! Speaking of tired..............

No chance of rebellion Tin from loyal Forumshire residents- although I'd keep an eye on that flag waving, erm flag, Liberty. Republican tendencies there or I'm an Englishman.

I didn't know you were an Englishman, Mr Tyrant? What's all the Scotshobbit business about then? I hope you don't harbour a dark secret? It's not nice to have such secrets.



((( )))

A hobbit who wears a kilt and no underpants has no secrets to hide Odo!