Howdy from Needlehole

(((((I can't Orwell. And its the MacBankses fault I can't because to do so would be tantamount to saying he was right! I know those MacBankses they would never let it lie, three generations from now they'd still be crowing about over my family. Thats why they want to keep it. )))))

(((((Odo told me in confidence that it was just a rusty old pail, not worth worying about, if highest principle wasn't at stake. I don't know what to think about the whole business. He did tell me the McTyrants did "give" it to the McBankses, as a gift. I'm sure Odo would never lie about something like that.)))))

((((Now I am not one to call odo a liar, never. But the truth is it can't rust- don;t tell anyone but its magical. It was made by one of the ancient Buckie Brewing Wizards, he was trying to make a bottle of infintie buckie spell, but unfortuntely he was already drunk on buckie when he thought of the idea and in his drunkeness he missed the bottle when he cast it and it hit the coal scuttle, so it now fills back up with coal whenever its empty. sadly for the wizard he lost the scuttle in a game of 'kilt flipping' with my great-great-great grandfather the very next day. And secondly, having come to know we Tyrants and MacTyrants as you have, do we strike you as the sort to go around giving stuff away!))))))

(((((No, you do seem traditionally thrifty. But I have also heard of Scotshobbit hospitality, which sometimes runs against the tide of Scotshobbit thrift. Odo tells me that the coal scuttle was a rusty old thing, and certainly not magical in any way. "Far fetched,"he said. "Far fetched, and unlikely to be true." And he said it was only still wanted by the McBankses because it was a gift, freely given, and that the McBankses would never insult the McTyrants by giving it back - though this does not preclude insulting them in other ways, apparently. Though he did offer to make arrangements for the McBankses to give the McTyrants a new one in return. Brand new, too; if that would placate your family. On the surface of things, that seems a more than reasonable offer.)))))

(((((("Scotshobbit hospitality, which sometimes runs against the tide of Scotshobbit thrift."-Orwell. No, no. Hospitality is if they come to your door, even an enemy, then you let them in, feed and house them till they can go on there way- then you attack them as soon as they are out the gate. You don't go out your way to go and give people things- that way lies poverty and less buckie- not the Scotshobbit way at all. As to his ridiculous offer of a new scuttle, he must think me a fool. I know its magical becasue Old Uncle Flatulant McTyrant had it for a while and he had so much coal he extended his hearth by a considerable size to accomodate it. Unfortuntely his name was well merited- after the explosion all that was found of him was a long brown stain! And the coal scuttle of course.))))))

(((((You know, you make my investigative juices gurgle somewhat. They can be charged you know. What you sounds feasible. Perhaps your local sheriffs might be called in. Theft, as far as I know, has no statute of limitation. If the MacBankses hold the scuttle illegally, they stll could be charged. Though, only after a thorough fair investigation. Have you tried the Forumshire Sheriff's Office? They seem a reputable bunch, and they do seem to cover a wide jurisdiction.))))

Oh how nice to be out of that academy. Sergeant Mirabella! Has a nice ring to it...

((((Petty. I think I know of a reputable Shirriff of Rank who might investigate your theft.)))))

(((((eye az snook buk, Porky ---- in dizgize... shooosch!))))

(((Oooh be ever so0 careful, Bif, if someone sees you they're bound to tell Wisey! Where shall we meet? - I'll need a disguise too, I guess...))))

(((Perrrfect! ))))

(((zee Fly und Tird... 6 oklok... nowon goes thar....beee carrfool... makshor yu doen stun out!))))

(((Never mind - no one will give me a second glance. Not at the Fly and Turd anyhow...))))

Hang on, when did Porgy turn into Pippa Middleton?

Hmmm, there seems to be a lot of empty post around here...

I wonder if Odo can sort it out!

This isnt really on any topic but is anyone else having far to much fun mucking about with today's google les paul guitar? If you haven't had a go yet I recommend it.

I was having fun "strumming" the guitar earlier but I haven't tried recording anything yet. Maybe I will now.

(((eee gawd! kwik chain nestarary, Porky...))))

(((((This is better --- no one will notice now. Brilliant! Be there soon, oh Bif.))))

(((((

"Hmmm, there seems to be a lot of empty post around here... I wonder if Odo can sort it out!"

Yes, Squatch - a definite sniff of cinnamon going on!

And what about that Les Paul rubbish - I'll need to deal with that too!

)))))

Mmmm everytime I pop by here of late theres nothing but empty posts and a weird magical tang in the air that makes my sporran throb in a most ungentlemanly manner!

Strange, strange things are happening. Yes... Umm... Mr Tyrant, something's up with Mirabella? Last I saw her she was heading north - with Lesbo Proudfoot of all people. Mirabella looked very angry and has armed herself with a knife. She was holding Lesbos' hand with her other hand - or at least I think so. They were moving very fast after all. If you see her, can you ask her what she's so angry about?

Pssst Odo its me! Shh I'm hiding over here, in your water barrel. Um sorry if its been tasting funny but Ive been in here a while! Is she about? You have to do something about this Odo. She's a Banks. I can't discuss THE PLAN now, the encryption magic doesn't work in water, makes all the runes soggy. What are we to do Odo? A kilts no protection against a feminist! They weren't made for it.

(((((Well, I'm at the Secret Place, Mr Tyrant. I hope your buckie addled brain hasn't set you astray again!!! Oh it has! Oh stay there! You are so frustrating! I've good news... I'll bring my copy of The Archet Bugle -- well, good news in one way, not all! More than your family jewells are at stake I'm sorry to say! Wait there. I have to do a bit of grocery shopping first, I might be awhile... Primmy is getting a bit bossy.. Fancy warning me with withdrawn favours if I didn't go shopping with her? Dark days ahead I fear! Fear! Fire! Foes!)))))))

'Fancy warning me with withdrawn favours if I didn't go shopping with her?'- Odo.
What? You surely can't mean...no seedcake?! When did Primmy become so cruel? And since when was baking a 'favour' and not a 'duty' You should tell she should just shut her eyes, think of Forumshire and do her wifely services as is proper. No seedcake indeed! What is Forumshire coming to?