GUYS GUYS!! LOOK !! LOOK!! [2]

you guys  i guess you're right.. but after basically faceplanting last year i am still nervous imma fuck this up too..

Norc wrote:you guys are so helpful  problem is i feel like i've been living too much in the now... idk.. but i am working and earning money this summer which is nice, but then i chose a study that i don't know how i feel about idk.. i am just worried that i am not  passionate about anything and i can't see myself as anything, like a teacher or like.. an occupation gaawd!
 
and dating is hard! what even am i doing! and why do i do certain things and make certain choices??

don't worry too much about the not knowing what you want to do in the future thing, sometimes it takes a while to find something that you do feel passionate about. Its better not to rush into it just because you feel pressure to be sensible. sometimes you can find your destiny by a chance meeting or something you don't plan for. My whole future was changed one day by picking up a leaflet on a table in a library. if I hadn't seen that leaflet I wouldn't have started a degree which started a whole ball rolling.

as for dating....I haven't a clue, just wing it.

after basically faceplanting last year i am still nervous imma fuck this up too..- Norc

{{{ You learn jack-shit winning all th etime. The stuff that really makes you is when you fall flat on your face. Its never about the fall Norc, its all about how you pick yourself back up again afterwards. Do it with a smile I say

As to dating, um not my area I'm afraid, I can't even persuade Figg to scrub my barrel and I've been after her to for years!   But don't worry, I asked Pretty for some advice for you she said, "Implants, seduction, tell them what they want to hear, flattery, give when it benefits you, withhold when it doesn't and always marry men with money and weak hearts'.

So there you go, sorted I assume }}}

Norc wrote: problem is i feel like i've been living too much in the now... idk..

Sounds like you're doing it right, then I've been studying and working my ass off for the past five years and I'm getting seriously restless. I love my job, but there are days I just want to buy a one-way ticket to somewhere and not come back until I feel like doing so. I feel like I'm losing out on all the fun of being 24, and I don't worry half as much about money or education as I do about just that. If I quit the troll hunting life next summer (which is something I'm considering), I'm off to somewhere or nowhere or everywhere.

About your studies - there are tons of other things to study, you don't have to go through with something that doesn't interest you. Eldo's got a point, though, it'll come in handy anyway if you finish the degree. I've got much the same problem as you, I'm struggling to find something I want to put all my money and time into. If I haven't found anything by next year I think the time has come for me to do a little tour de world of my own. {{{You're all invited to tag along for a week or five should you find yourself feeling adventurous }}}

i can always rely on you for wisdom  i just have to assume something good has to come out of sign language

but dating.. does anyone actually have any good tips? i am afraid i'll hurt and chase all the good guys away because i can be a real arse sometimes..and also thinking they're too good for me.. or finding assholes i think i deserve... or going into things just because it feels comfy and i am lonely.. 

and how do you know if someone likes you? and what if they have the wrong idea about you? like they think they know you? or has this amazing glorified version of you they like?? like this guy hardly knows me but idk.........fuck

Ringo gives good advice. I'm not an advocate of forcing yourself through college if it makes you miserable (a ton of people I know from growing up have dropped out of college, not all of them have gone back, but most seem happier for it). But you don't have to know what you want to do long term during college, cause your major doesn't really dictate that (unless you're going into a highly technical field I suppose, but even then, you still have options).

I'm afraid I don't really have much advice on the dating front. No one who you've just met will really know the full you, but the only way either of you will get to know the other better is by interacting and spending time together. It's normal for there to be a rose-tinted period early on, I try not to second-guess those feelings too much while also acknowledging that things might change as time goes on cause that's just how human relationships work and it isn't necessarily anyone's fault.

Just be the girl you've been around here for almost five years - we all like you for being you. You're funny, you care for people, you are talented in writing, drawing, music {{{I don't know about you other guys, but I fall in love with girls who can play instruments before I know what happened }}}, and you've got the looks on top of all that. What's not to like? Be yourself - it's a cliché, but clichés are clichés because they work.

It may sound like I'm hitting on you, but I'm not - I've miraculously managed to find this incredible girl who for some reason still smiles at me when she's in my presence. I don't know what I did to make her like me seeing as I was drunk to boot, but somehow she's stuck around, and I'm not going to mess that up by asking for explanations My point is - you're a f***ing catch, Nora, and I feel like I can say that without hitting on you by saying so. Just make sure he is good enough

Ringdrotten wrote:

Norc wrote: problem is i feel like i've been living too much in the now... idk..

Sounds like you're doing it right, then I've been studying and working my ass off for the past five years and I'm getting seriously restless. I love my job, but there are days I just want to buy a one-way ticket to somewhere and not come back until I feel like doing so. I feel like I'm losing out on all the fun of being 24, and I don't worry half as much about money or education as I do about just that. If I quit the troll hunting life next summer (which is something I'm considering), I'm off to somewhere or nowhere or everywhere.

About your studies - there are tons of other things to study, you don't have to go through with something that doesn't interest you. Eldo's got a point, though, it'll come in handy anyway if you finish the degree. I've got much the same problem as you, I'm struggling to find something I want to put all my money and time into. If I haven't found anything by next year I think the time has come for me to do a little tour de world of my own. {{{You're all invited to tag along for a week or five should you find yourself feeling adventurous }}}

that's some good advice. I'll join you if i have money

I don't know what I did to make her like me seeing as I was drunk to boot- Ringdrotten

{{{It obvious what you did right! }}}

i'm gonna print that and hang it on my wall, Ringo  and i am glad you found someone who for some reason stuck around  i think that is somewhat what happened to me. i did the sticking part. i think females have a good gut-feeling when it comes to men.. i know a "good guy" when i meet one. and then you'll have to tread carefully and yeah... catch'em. 

and thanks for not hitting on me

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I don't know what I did to make her like me seeing as I was drunk to boot- Ringdrotten

{{{It obvious what you did right!  }}}

hahaha... always be drunk and trust that the drunk self makes good decisions (and you don't end up pregnant or with an STD...)

{{All the best things happen when drunk, and all the worst. }}}

{{{When it comes to what to do with your life Norc, you've plenty time yet you know. I have always found these quotes useful when considering my options in life}}

“Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions..... any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition...Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.....All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life....Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path....A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.”

{{{And the trick of course, how do you know if a path has 'heart'- that last line is the proof of one- its easy, natural, it feels right. Trust your own heart in deciding. }}}

That is a good saying Petty I shall keep that one for myself. Learning from your fuck ups is a good one. Ive become stronger thru pains & upsets. I know who I am, I know what I will put up with & what I wont. I can give some leeway to a person or just cut them dead. Being as one with yourself certainly helps. Knowing yourself, your limitations, your strengths even your weaknesses is very positive & invigorating. Be proud of the person you are. There is no one like you ! Your vibrancy makes up this world. Stop thinking & start feeling, go with the flow, let the river trickle along, sparkling in a summer afternoon, you dont know whats round the corner but, the thought that something is round the corner makes you go on.

{{{{ }}}

It can be hard to find people who can give good advice on dating, as either they've been successful at it, meaning they haven't done it a lot, or they've done it a lot, meaning they haven't been successful at it.. odd that..

Dating advice:
Don't be afraid to be yourself.
When that inevitably goes wrong, don't be afraid to say you're sorry.
Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.

Those three are a pretty good start.

I think being yourself is important. And allowing yourself to take chances and do things that you might be a bit hesitant to do at times. Hey, it's life. And you'll get to your destination eventually, so, why not enjoy the journey too. My biggest regret, anyways, is not being more generous at times. Because I would really have liked to. Be generous and open to things, and I don't see why life should be anything but enjoyable.. in theory, anyways..

I think the biggest emotional hang-ups people get are from trying to accomplish things, including dating.

Don't worry about accomplishing things, just do things. If you really like doing something, it will end up being an accomplishment simply because you felt like doing it so much.

I think Bluebottle summarized the problem with dating advice pretty well, which doesn't stop me from trying to give some. Don't *try* to date, just be open to letting things happen and don't worry about what does or doesn't happen.

Well, I was mostly saying were all hopeless at this stuff one way or the other. But, thanks.

halfwise wrote:I think the biggest emotional hang-ups people get are from trying to accomplish things, including dating.

Don't worry about accomplishing things, just do things.  If you really like doing something, it will end up being an accomplishment simply because you felt like doing it so much.

This is definitely true in my experience. Not that I always heed it...

just have fun, take risks, make mistakes, do daft things, meet interesting people, travel, get drunk with friends, practice safe sex, be young. Its only too late to do stuff when you are dead.

Some quotes from Rainer Maria Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet:

Don't observe yourself too closely. Don't be too quick to draw conclusions from what happens to you; simply let it happen. Otherwise it will be too easy for you to look with blame.

have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

Whoever looks seriously will find that neither for death, which is difficult, nor for difficult love has any clarification, any solution, any hint of a path been perceived; and for both these tasks, which we carry wrapped up and hand on without opening, there is no general, agreed-upon rule that can be discovered. But in the same measure in which we begin to test life as individuals, these great Things will come to meet us, the individuals, with greater intimacy. The claims that the difficult work of love makes upon our development are greater than life, and we, as beginners, are not equal to them. But if we nevertheless endure and take this love upon us as burden and apprenticeship, instead of losing ourselves in the whole easy and frivolous game behind which people have hidden from the most solemn solemnity of their being, then a small advance and a lightening will perhaps be perceptible to those who come long after us.

Comforting words

Hey! It looks like another post will put me back into the Top 10!