Lord of the Rings Humour: Parodies, Satires and More [3]

BTW, I hated the Bakshi version of Aragorn. Looked too much like the barkeep at Mos Eisley.

Daniel Day Lewis is scrawny and he has too much chin and forehead..

plus the thing that's really great about Viggo is he didn't need to shout and bombast to be an action hero, he was soft spoken and understated, and that's rare in a hero. Last one who did that was Gary Cooper in High Noon. I think men tend to like heros like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, and women tend to like Viggo in LOTR. both are cool for different reasons. I personally prefer Boromir to Aragorn and I never fancied Viggo, but each to their own.

I thought Viggo conveyed a strong silent ' dont mess with me' type. Sometimes its more unnerving when someone is quiet than when they are shouting & strutting about.

You never fancied Viggo? You seem to be a female version of a statistical anomaly.

If you call D.D. Lewis scrawny you must not have seen Last of the Mohicans. I'm trying to find the best youtube clip...

you can tell he is scrawny by his wrists. he has scrawny wrists, he may have bulked up a bit for the film but he is defo on the slim side.

and no I never fancied Viggo.  Grima is far sexier.



hey whats the deal with the forum maintenance doofer!?  

The "Uruks have turned northeast" thing always bugs me. I used to give my brother a running commentary of changes and nonsensicalities in the movies when he'd watch them with me (he was, to his unending credit, extremely patient with this, though it encouraged him to poke fun at the movies I think). Two other compass-related things that bugged me were the sun rising in the north (behind the Rohirrim) at the Battle of the Pelennor and the Easterling army marching into Mordor from the south rather than the east in TTT.

Yep, he's basicaly saying "Their coming straight back to us."

I guess it says somehting about the adaptive process. And JWBs tendency to do their adapting on the set on the day.

Eldorion wrote:I used to give my brother a running commentary of changes and nonsensicalities in the movies when he'd watch them with me (he was, to his unending credit, extremely patient with this, though it encouraged him to poke fun at the movies I think).

Haha, that's just what I was doing when watching GoTs with my brother last summer. "That's not right..", "They changed that..", "Actually, in the books..", but he put up me for the couple of episodes we watched.

Not sure I should watch season 5 with him for his sake, the way it's looking with the amount of changes.

Showed it to my wife and she didn't get it till she actually looked at the map... Then she busted up laughing and said' "OOPS", I almost fell over at the way she said it

Eldorion wrote:The "Uruks have turned northeast" thing always bugs me. I used to give my brother a running commentary of changes and nonsensicalities in the movies when he'd watch them with me (he was, to his unending credit, extremely patient with this, though it encouraged him to poke fun at the movies I think).  Two other compass-related things that bugged me were the sun rising in the north (behind the Rohirrim) at the Battle of the Pelennor and the Easterling army marching into Mordor from the south rather than the east in TTT.

The Easterlings referred to are from Harad, which is to the south east of everything else (but south of mordor) because that's the way the coast bends. To get to Mordor they'd most likely march along the mountains on Mordor's western side, which means coming up from the south.

Not sure exactly what time of year the battle of the Pelennor fields was (fall?), but aren't the Rohirrim coming from the Northeast? In winter the sun does indeed rise from the northeast in the northern hemisphere. Sounds strange, but is true. In summer it rises more to the south.

But the orcs turning NE to Orthanc...that's just stupid.

halfwise wrote:The Easterlings referred to are from Harad, which is to the south east of everything else (but south of mordor) because that's the way the coast bends.  To get to Mordor they'd most likely march along the mountains on Mordor's western side, which means coming up from the south.

Huh?  Every Third Age reference to Easterlings refers to people from Rhun, which is an inland region to the east and northeast of Mordor (though some of them settled in Rhovanion after displacing its prior inhabitants, the Northmen).  The Haradrim (Southrons) are a different group of peoples.  Speaking of Harad, a good deal of it is actually due south of Gondor (across the Bay of Belfalas), because the coast bends considerably to the west at that latitude (giant map here).  Umbar, which was an ethnically mixed city but associated with the Haradrim for much of its history, was actually southwest of Minas Tirith.

Not sure exactly what time of year the battle of the Pelennor fields was (fall?), but aren't the Rohirrim coming from the Northeast?  In winter the sun does indeed rise from the northeast in the northern hemisphere.  Sounds strange, but is true.  In summer it rises more to the south.

Most of the military action in the War of the Ring (including the battles of the Hornburg, the Pelennor, and the Black Gate) occurred in the winter of TA 3019.  The Pelennor specifically occurs in March.  Fair point about the sun, but the Rohirrim of the book would have been approaching from either due north or the northwest.  In the movie it's pretty clearly the northwest (perhaps north-northwest) because they're facing the the River Anduin, which is to the east of Minas Tirith.

Near Harad is kinda east, but okay...assuming the Easterlings are related to the Wainriders then yeah, they should come from the other direction. In the book I always thought of them coming up the southern road but that really doesn't make much sense.

I always thought of Minas Tirith as looking the same direction as the tip of the Mindolluin, which would be Southeast, but it seems the detailed maps have a spur coming out due east that the city sits on.

I always think of Minas Tirith facing West in my imagination, but I don't think it does in the book, because its supposed to catch the first light of dawn on its battlements which means East? maybe.

Yeah, Minas Tirith faces east towards Mordor.  It's on a foothill of Mount Mindolluin (a rather large one at 700 feet).  The gate to the city faces east, and the big rock spur points in that direction as well (maybe ever so slightly SSE).  The western edge of the city includes Rath Dinen (the silent street, with the tombs) while the north and south faces are more built-up like the east.

This made my day.

I loathed Alfrid. what a waste of time.

I thought he was a nasty piece of shit & so unTolkienish in his language & behaviour. He made Grima look professional & not so unreasonable

Mrs Figg wrote:I loathed Alfrid.  what a waste of time.

I get where Jackson was trying to go with the character he just IMHO wasn't needed ( or for that matter wanted by anyone but PJ) It got to be a bit out of control when this made up character started getting more screen time than actual book characters. Everyone says PJ knows how to tell a story but in truth he really doesn't know how to tell someone else's story. Meaning Tolkien's story. He did a good job telling his own story which was not the same as the story Tolkien wrote sadly enough. I mean he should have treated these films just like FOTR where he had no clue on whether or not they would have been successful and in the long run they would have been because Jackson was more careful in his storytelling. Alas what could have been. After writing something like my Hobbit script I can see so many errors Jackson and his writing team made.

Point being... what they thought was funny made most of us here cringe, shake our heads and roll our eyes at, not in a good way either. That's what happens when you get too big for your britches I guess

the problem is the comic turn Alfrid does in the middle of a flipping battle makes the battle seem less serious, it lessens the gravity of the situation, its ridiculous bad timing. its not pathos its just dumb and dumber comedy that's not funny.

Oh yeah I love hobbits! I mean there’s Frodo, Bilbo, Sam and…uh…[looks at smudged writing on hand] Mary Poppins

Still wouldn't be worse than what we actually got.

Uh, ya know, I don't know.