An Unexpected Journey as seen by Petty Tyrant

A cruel and insidious caricature --- but so well deserved.   


“We have another unnecessary allusion to the film that must not be named,” Gandalf shouted back down and reaching out his staff he poked it gently into a limb of the tree and retrieved on the end of it a moth.


One movie I'm trying to forget reminding me of another movie I'm trying to forget. Two stupidities don't make an epiphany.   

I still maintain this is NOT a parody. It really just is writing down what actually happens on screen.
I can only conclude from this that PJ was actually trying to make a parody of TH all along!   

Well done, PT.

It really is an intensely stupid movie. Almost hard to fathom the next one is even worse.

Cheers Raddy- and yes it is an intensely stupid film- even more stupid than I initially realised before writing this.   

Yeah, the more you look at it, the more stupidity seems to surface. It's like a bed of worms.

Thanks Petty, quite enjoyable. My favourite part was:

“Because I'm stealthy, when the foley people remember, and that’s why Gandalf brought me along, and you are a noisy dwarf with the IQ of a stunned squirrel,” Bilbo replied.

Thorin leant in close to Balin and whispered, “Is that a a lot?”

  


The end dragged a bit, to be honest, the back and forthing of who went where and how long they stayed there and which orc was when went on for too long. Like the film itself, it was a bit boring, and so in that regard it was spot on for the movie, but it could have been done less point-to-point and more wow-this-scene-was-bad. Condensed, is what I mean, I suppose.

so in that regard it was spot on for the movie- Forest

Its probably not the best instalment - just wanted it over with! And when I say I just write down whats on screen I am not joking- I watch the scene I write down what happens in it and highlight the absurdities- I also dont draft it, so its all off the top of my head (hence the number of corrections it needed and the number still remaining I cant be arsed going back and fixing!).
I might eventually collate it all and edit it properly and tighten it up one day, one day....

It's similar to what this site does:

http://www.the-editing-room.com/

I loved the humour in this tale as it really did follow what was going on in the film but, added all the things you wanted to say ! I bet Bilbo DID want to say all the things in the film that Petty "made" him say in the story. If it wasnt going on in M. Freemans mind then, hes as vacant as the looks he gives out !

Thanks Azriel.
The more I saw Freeman in interviews, the more the way he seemed to come across as wishing he was somewhere else, and the more it crept into my story so it was less Bilbo and more Martin trying to do Bilbo in the middle of a story so rewritten that it didnt want him in it any more.

 

I don't know if it's The Hobbit or not, but Freeman looks rather bored in every interview I've seen him in!

Maybe they should just have written Bilbo out.   

The movies are all about Thorin anyway. Did Bilbo have three proper scenes before they got to the Lonely Mountain?

No Bilbo in the Hobbit movies, no Hobbit movies at all.... mmm... worth a try.

Peter Jackson introduces The Dwarf, staring Richard Armitage as Thorin Oakenshield ?   

"Tale of The Lonely Mountain" ?
So lonely there's fook all anybody around !

Can we expect a Desolation of Canon follow up Petty? Or is it to painful to comprehend?

Yes, I think I will do DOS as well, but I want to finish the Glitched story first.

maybe you should consider posting this on TORn in the 'Fan Art' forum, It would be very interesting to get their responses although they'd probably end up banning you for trolling/pointing out the obvious, it would prove how biased TORn could be.

 

And see how long it would take them to gather that it's not a positive take on the original.   

DO IT!!!!!!!!!! I should snoop around torn more. I think i'm intimidated by its size. I like things small and intimate, like Forumshire here.

 I double dare you.