Pictorial Aspects and Semblance of Reality - Norc

even more so after that intemperate outburst, Norc's Mother's ghastly daughter (apparently)....

halfwise wrote:

I think I'd like the Forest of Strange Women.

Fortunately there's nothing strange about the Men of Forumshire. Not a whit.

That's right, Halfy-lad, darn tootin'...

Forumshire dreamz n nightmarz part 2.

Orwell


Halfy


Chris


Azriel

There was a sign over the Mayoress' Office: "No men allowed - unless they're Clean Living Menfolk like Orwell Jackaboots McOdo (11)."

Coincidentally, that's me by the way!

Scaregirl said, "And what brings you Mature Lady, who looks much younger in many of the lithographs, to a Lesbian Bisexual Paradise like this?"

"I thought this was Oz."

"It is. The Adult One. So, do you want to find a way home to your own home sweet home?"

"I guess so - that's if this thing actually needs a plot, that is. But can't I just go back the way I came?"

"Oh no. Cranberry Dave is waiting that way and rumour has it he thinks you're a bitch."

"Bitch?"

"Witch. Sorry."

"And we all know what that means, don't we," said the Cowardly Lioness.

"Do we?" asked Scaregirl, who wasn't that bright.

"Shouldn't we have another lithograph by now?" asked Tin Girl.

"No, sadly photobucket's not working for some reason at the moment," the Cowardly Lioness said. "While we're waiting, why, let's play a girly game! "

"Oooh!"

"Ahhhh!"

"Hee hee hee!"

"Oh Norc's Mother.. you naughty Mother of Children you!"

"No, that was Tin Girl."

"She's hard to hold onto when she's so well oiled."

"You mean 'well healed', don't you?"

"No. She's quite shapely now that I see her with all her clothes slipped off...."

"Darn tootin'!"

"Hey! How'd you get in here?"

"Grab him and throw him out of Oz, girls..."

"Oh it's Orwell (11)!"

"It can't be can it? He's letting us touch him!"

"Hey! I'm a rumbuctious manhobbit. I like ladies touching me."

"Hey! He's wearing a mask... Chris! I knew it!"

"Darn cheek!"


to be continued....

looks like Sugar Loaf mountain, I bet her baps are chilly though.

Now, you guys may not have realized it yet, but Norc's Mother was in Muffinton, and whenever there is a Manhobbit Alert, all the little Muffin people come out and surround the offensive manhobbit (and Chris definitely fit that description) to tantalize and tease him until he fled...



But Chris was not easily dissuaded - and it's said nowadays that there are an awful lot of little Chris-like hobbitmuffins in Muffinton.



But that's several months later....

Norc's Mother, seeing her opportunity, ran off along the Yellow Brick Road. The Scaregirl, the Tin Girl and the Cowardly Lioness saw her go and they immediately ran after her as if she was a magnet - Norc's Mother being rather attractive and all. {{{Boom! Boom! }}}

They came to a mysterious place where they met the strange girl of an earlier chapter...



The girl said: "Walls octagonally, in the gonads of a Pieces Fish, I tumble like three unicorns."

The Scarygirl, the Tin Girl and the Cowardly Lioness wanted to kill her - like all of us do - but Norc's Mother was used to annoying children and said: "Hopefully she'll grow out of it one day and become a useful kind of a girl - a librarian or something."

"Like Amarie, you mean?" the Scaregirl asked.

"Exactly. Though, hopefully, not evil."

"Where is she anyway?" asked Norc's Mother.

"A woman comes and goes when she wants to - but when she does come you'll certainly know about it," opined Tin Girl

"And all the neighbours will too," Scaregirl laughed.

The others joined in.

And they decided just then to take lunch at a nice cafe - where they continued to laugh.



to be continued....

"Now I want you to know," Norc's Mother said after awhile to her new Lesbian and two Bisexual friends. I am a respectable Fjordianlandian Mother and don't go for anything unworthy or vulgar and am a totally trustworthy wife to my devoted and distracted-by-football husband."

"Oh my! But we've heard rumour of a certain meeting you had with Orwell (4)..." Scaregirl offered delicately.

"Oh that was just sex, nothing more - and any Mother would do that if it saved her ghastly daughter from a career in Art. I mean, can I really be blamed for that in the circumstances -- I mean, two to three minutes work?"

Her new friends had to concede she had a point there.

"Of course," Norc's Mother continued. "If Norc ever found out what happened, I'd deny it. It would shatter her to know I had been horribly unfaithful to her boring and dowdy and rather stupid Father."

"That, of course, goes without saying," the Tin Girl said reassuringly. "Our lips are sealed."

Having cleared the air, the four had a lovely time talking about life and children and men and men's short comings and shoes, and before long two more Lesbians joined them....



Which, by my reckoning, makes three Lesbians, two bisexuals and one heterosexual (Norc's Mother) in the gathering.

After awhile, Norc's Mother couldn't help asking: "If you have bisexuals in this world, wherever are your Men?"

"We keep them under lock and key in cages," the Cowardly Lioness said.

"You keep them in cages!" Norc's Mother gasped.

"Oh yes. We keep them fed and watered and only bring them out for sex."

"Oh my... how terrible. That's false imprisonment --- it's slavery!"

"They don't mind. We let them watch the sports channel as well... Forgot to mention that. They're very content."

Scaregirl pulled out a recent lithograph.

""Here's a recent lithograph of one of my sex slaves, Norc's Mother... Try to tell me he's ever unhappy to see me...."



"He does look rather pleased, even a bit eager.." Norc's Mother conceded, wondering now if the idea might not become popular in Fjordianlandia one day. Not that she was having disrespectable thoughts, because her little Norc, of course, would be totally shocked if she found out her Mother ever had naughty adulterous kinky thoughts like that, and for that very reason Norc's Mother didn't have them, never ever ever (apparently).

to be continued...

The wit & imagination for this nearly made me choke on my cup of tea & hot muffin ! theres only one teeny weeny thing you had wrong...
"Oh that was just sex, nothing more - and any Mother would do that if it saved her ghastly daughter from a career in Art. I mean, can I really be blamed for that in the circumstances -- I mean, two to three minutes work?"
As long as THAT ??!!
(BTW,Brilliant Orwell !)

This is like reading Wholesome Tales the comic.

Forumshire dreamz n nightmarez part 3.

Rodney


Eldo


Amarie

MEANWHILE


Norc had noticed her Mother was missing, and not even considering that her Mother might even now be putting her body on the line to save her from a career in Art (but that's Arty people for you, I guess! ) - as I said, Norc noticed her Mother was missing and so took the opportunity of inviting her young friend Rodney over to try out her culinery wiles on him...



Rodney had had his own reason for coming over...


(In a certain light, one did not notice the marks left by the ugly stick quite as much!)


"Oh Norc, can I come up to your bower and see your etchings?"

"I'd love to show you my etchings..." Norc beamed. "Meet me upstairs in two minutes!"


When she was gone...




And Rodney impatiently counted the second hand on his watch, and then taking four steps at a time, he found Norc in her room...



"This is my favorite..." she beamed, holding up one of her etchings.





"And this one I like too."





"Oh my goodness, is this one too?" asked Rodney.






"They're just old photos of me Mum had framed," Norc told him, a little uncomfortably.



to be continued....

I think we are all now a little uncomfortable!

Oh no.
Get out of there, Rodney! Before it's too late.

Yeah - sure, Rodney!

It really is Wholesome Tales Illustrated edition.

No, you're confusing True Life for something The Archet Bugle would print.

yup now I feel uncomfortable.

what even...

doesn't feel like Tuesday 2day :L