The Needlehole Mysteries [2]

Eldorion wrote:

Norc wrote:and who's fucking fault is that? besides, stuff is being posted here. fanfics.

Spoiler:

Norc wrote:btw, there's no dick talk here.. i would.. know.

'

Spoiler:

lance started it

blah blah blah!!

Heh, last fanfic chapter was posted 13 pages ago. Won't be long now precious.

yey!! looking forward

An imminent update? At least someone still has their priorities straight here.

Spoiler:

Your bravery (or foolhardiness) knows no bounds Eldo!

Did I say it wouldn't be long? Well... it is.

---

“with that level of personal grooming, cum on.” Ringo said and pretended to hold up his beer glass and checking on his curls (while Nora was painfully aware that the handsome blue-shirted hobbit also was doing just that). Eldo suddenly felt a bit embarrassed.
“Well, we all care about how we look” he said. Nora nodded in agreement.
“Do you want me to prove it?” Ringo raised an eyebrow.
“what?” Nora looked at him for a moment, but confident in her case “yeah. Ok, go on then, if you’re able to get his number, you win.”

Ringo ran a hand though his hair, tugged his already low cut t-shir a bit lower and kissed his biceps.
- Ok, now. Watch this!

He strutted causally towards the bar and Blue Shirt Guy.

Nora's frown grew more and more intense to a point where Eldo worried her face might be sucked into her left nostrils and be lost forever. Then she took a deep gulp of beer and straightened her back.
- Two can play that game, she mumbled.

Eldo looked away flustered as she nudged her boobs in place and entered the arena.

---

Eldo rotated his beer mug clockwise, then counter clockwise. He lifted it even if he knew it was empty and let the last drop drop down on his tongue. As he put it back down on the table he aimed for the one of the wet circles already formed on the table. He had already emptied the other two half drunk mugs on the table. This really had been a brilliant idea. A crowd had formed around his friends at the bar. He caught the word “flæsktryne” over the music and sighed. Time to go pee anyway. They wouldn't even notice he was gone.

He made his way through the crowd of more or less drunk people to the more silent corridor of rest rooms. He knew the smallest room furthest down was most likely to still have paper towels and soap.

He was suddenly grabbed by the arm and ambushed into a hug.
- Detective! Finally someone interesting! How lovely to see you! Are you here all on your lonesome?

A multitude of alarm bells went off in his head. It was the ambassador. And she was cheerful! Amarië on a buzz. That couldn't be good. Luckily the hug was quick and buddy like.

- No no, not alone! he quickly replied, nearly stating he had backup and swat team waiting. Instead he nodded towards the Herrings by the bar. Amarië craned her neck to see.
- Oh, I see. No wonder you look mopy. Why are they fighting?
- They are flirting.
Amarië's left eyebrow rose, and Eldo felt the need to explain so she would think they were like crazy or anything.
- Not with each other. With a hot guy, possibly a hot gay.
- Uh... huh?

He tried to point him out, but Blue Shirt Guy was nowhere to be seen. Clearly he had run away from the madness, Eldo couldn't blame him for that. Fjordian swears and curses were flying. Nora poked Ringo's chest and Ringo pinched her left boob for revenge. A few people seemed to be making bets.
- Um, apparently he's gone, but he was there.
- So not with you then?
- What with me?
- Nothing. Nora's going to win. Ringo's got the best advantage being a native Fjordian, but he is also easily distracted and far to amused by her anger to keep a straight face for long.

Eldo wasn't so sure about that.
- Perhaps. But he can keep it up for hours when he sets his mind to it.
Amarië smiled, but said nothing.

They watched in uncomfortable (for Eldo) and contemplating (for Amarië) silence until Eldo really really had to go, so he excused himself and went and did just that and felt a lot better. He washed his hands and straightened his hair, wondering if the two were finished yet.

He heard the door open and threw a glance in the mirror. Now it was his eyebrows that rose.
- Miss Ambassador, I do believe you are in the men's room.
She looked around with a less than impressed look.
- Yes, I do believe you are correct.

The door swung open again and in burst a tall man who stopped dead as he lay eyes on her.

She gave him a deadly look.
- Sir. This room is taken.
- But I have to use the...
- Find a bush! Now scram!

The man scurried away in a hurry. Eldo had to laugh.
- That guy was, what... three times your size?
Amarië shrugged.
- Never underestimate the element of surprise.

- I for one am indeed surprised.
- Good, I would hate to find I have grown predictable. Now, before we are interrupted again. Two against one is simply not fair. I have a plan to even the odds. Does your shirt come off as quickly, I wonder?
- 'scuse me?
- Oh nothing. My, they sure are loud. Not like you, my dear. You think things through. Contemplates. The good guy. Totally adorable. And that won't do. That simply won't do at all.
- Right. You seem to talk about nothing a lot.
- Yes, I am after all deeply involved with politics. Let's start with the hair.

Before Eldo had a chance to ask what she meant by that, Amarië had dug her fingers in his hair and made a mess of his newly corrected hairdo. Then with a tug at the shirt and a flick of the wrist the top buttons of his shirt was suddenly opened.

Freaking Fjordians and their obsession with shirt ripping! What was this? Cleavage Day? Still though, not a button was missing which was a bit fascinating.

- How did you do that? I mean, why did you do that?
- Like I said, I am evening the odds. You’ll thank me later.
- How modest.
She winked at him.
- It’s a Fjordian thing.

She took two steps back and studied her work, like an artist studying her canvas.
- No, no.... much better, but still not right... Oh, but of course!

She chuckled as she dove close again. He protested as she started to pull the shirt out of the hem of his pants. She took a step back and looked at him over the rim of her glasses.
- We have to do this right or not at all. Trust me Eldo! I am your biggest fan!

He frowned at bit. He had seen the fan wall, he knew she was not that kind of fan.
- What are you up to?

She smiled secretively.
- You are the detective, you'll figure it out. Now look at those abs, aren't you a hidden treasure!

Eldo most certainly did not blush as she clicked her tongue in an approving manner and quickly buttoned his shirt unevenly with one shirt flap hanging out. She turned him around so he could see himself in the mirror. Eldo was not particularly happy with what he saw.

- With all due respect... Looks like I've been in a fight or dressed in the dark. Or both.

- True. One final touch then.

She fished out a lipstick from her purse, opened it and smudged some on her index finger. She held her finger up towards him and looked at him with a challenging smile. And then it dawned on him what she was up to.

- Oooooh, the odds. I get it... And this will work?
- I am certain of it, I have a bet to win. If you're game?
He had already decided, but he did ask anyway.
- What if I say no?
- Then I'll loose a few pieces of mithril, but got to have a fun time with you in the men's room.
- You are far worse than your reputation.
- My dear detective, you flatter me!

---

A short wile after, Eldo strolled casually up to the still insult flinging Fjordians by the bar. They had moved through most barn yard animals, all ugly looking fish types they could think of and were rapidly moving down the list of forest and land living creatures.

- Hey guys, what did I miss?

The two Herrings clamped up like oysters and stared at him, mainly on the smudged lipstick on his lip with a quick glance at his shirt and messy hair.

- What?

Behind them he could see Amarië being handed a bag of money. The people did not look happy, but a shout of “next round's on me!” seemed to cheer them up. The Herrings didn't seem to notice. He looked at them as innocently as he could manage and patted his hair down. The Herring's looked at each other, at Eldo, then at each other again. Then, like on cue, they both moved forward, grabbed one arm each and dragged him back to their table.

Loved it Amarie!

Thank you!

It was my pleasure I assure you. It was perfect reading to go with my haggis (you need something amusing when thats your dinner)

Glad to be of assistance.

oh my god how i giggled this is simply genius!! oh my, the things i can do with this xD oh, and i just love how unpredictable and changeable Amarië is, i love her, and the characters they've just floated into place love it love it love it! u write so well, Am!

also, the fanfiction is now ridicilously long. around 11 680 words!

Impressive.

freakishly impressive :S

Norc wrote:oh my god how i giggled this is simply genius!! oh my, the things i can do with this xD oh, and i just love how unpredictable and changeable Amarië is, i love her, and the characters they've just floated into place love it love it love it! u write so well, Am!

Thank youuuuuuu!

Norc wrote:freakishly impressive :S

Freakish is indeed the word!

I'm jealous of Amarie's brilliant writing! No fair!

Just read it. How someone with English as a second language (or a third? ) can play the language like an accordian in a gypsy band is beyond me. Must be the herring. Heard it's brain food.

coood!

Its not that good. I mean its ok... but no mention of an xr3i... nothing about adiddas track suits and no garage music.

Well, this story is mainly about Ringo trying to make money so he could buy himself some hot wheels with horsepower to cruise in, so we're not too far off?

A great read, Amarie! Thanks for getting the fanfic going again. I don't know if you guys have a plan for this but it's quite entertaining just watching the characters bounce off each other.

Oh nothing. My, they sure are loud. Not like you, my dear. You think things through. Contemplates. The good guy. Totally adorable. And that won't do. That simply won't do at all

If I still had a signature this would definitely go in it.