Preparing Norc, no, Eldo for a life of college debauchery. Though it won't exactly be college; the grad school version of debauchery being far more refined.

Halfwise more like really wise.













(i'll show myself out)

halfwise wrote:the comic writer James Thurber had a trick for beating procrastination, and it really works.   Find some task that's sort of tedious and unimportant - like rearranging the books on your bookshelf - then work hard to convince yourself it's really the most important thing to get done.   It takes some effort convincing yourself, but it's worth it.  As soon as you know you simply must rearrange those books, you set about doing anything else to put it off.  If you also convince yourself that other thing that you used to have to get done is really not that important and rather trivial, you'll soon end up doing it to avoid rearranging the books; anything but rearrange those damn books.

I've tried it, it really works.  But then the task of convincing yourself you really have to do this unimportant task becomes a new thing to avoid, but at least it works the first time.

This.. need to do this But what when the most important thing you have to do is get out the door, and you spend your time procrastinating getting out the door?

Thanks for the tips/encouragement, guys.

Forest Shepherd wrote:I'm sorry the mental health subject is reminding you of old hurts, that's lame. Of course I don't know quite what that's like, but it reminds me of when I had that sort-of mental crisis nearly three years back. Since then I've felt that I did not want to go back to school, because school is where I encountered a lot of the ideas that, I'm pretty sure, helped lead me to that point. I most often hear "triggering" in the context of goofs or jokes (which are often hilarious, to be sure), but there is certainly something to the reality that the mind goes to great lengths to push away things that remind it of past events that are too painful.

Perhaps you can bring some Tolkien into your self-injury project? There must be hundreds of case studies from all the crabbit explosions that occurred from, let us say... December 14, 2012 to December 17, 2014. The epicenter of course being in Scotland.  And those were ultimately all self-inflicted!

Thanks Forest. I get what you mean about avoiding certain places or things that bring back certain memories. I refused to go anywhere near hospitals for a number of years after my first experience, and I was embarrassed about the fact that I quit my part-time job just before that I wouldn't even go into the parking lot of the shopping center where it was located for two years afterwards. Fortunately when I did eventually reapply they remembered me positively, though, and I didn't have to go through the full interview process. The concept of trigger warnings has been devalued by its overuse ("tag your gore/pomegranates asswipe" still cracks me up) but I agree that there is a psychological basis to the original concept.

Norc wrote:i am glad you finished early and can have some vacation. I am doing exampaper-writing on my birthday not cool...

also, Eldo, too bad about the self-harm thing ripping up old stuff, but use it as an advantage, you have a unique insight to the mental health system, it's ok to get angry, but don't let ti bring you down, use it as your strength <3 like tyrion said, but not quite.

Thanks Norc. I think that the presentation went well; a couple people came up to me afterwards and said they liked the fact that I criticized some of the more prominent sources. And I doubt I would've done so much above and beyond work (especially in terms of the scale of research) if the project wasn't about a topic where I have such strong feelings.

that's great to hear, Eldo, that you got positive feedback

Thank you! ^_^

Well, I survived my first semester of grad school, and I didn't end up back in the hospital during it, so I consider that a success. I feel confident about my grades (the W in the one class notwithstanding) which is nice too. Hopefully there won't be too much of a post-semester crash. The lack of finals probably improves the chances of avoiding that, and I'd like to spend more time writing for fun over the break.

The only project this semester that I really enjoyed was the website one, the results of which I posted recently. I'm sort of regretting the fact that I chose self-injury as the health information behavior to study for a multi-part project in another class, though. It hasn't been very fun being reminded from the scholarly literature how many professionals think I'm a freak and it's dredged up a lot of old anger towards the mental health system arising from my hospitalizations. Though it did result in me reading one particular book that helped explain why I have so much trouble thinking that I deserve to be treated well in more detail than I'd been able to before, so there's that.....................................................................................................

You regret this, why ? you are in a very good position to engage in something you know & won over. You have a more powerful position than the rest. You are coming thru unscathed by your determination. You think people saw you as a freak ? People who don't understand something or are frightened by someones ideas rely on easily banded tags like this. I used to get upset & angry now, I smile & walk away. I don't need to take this to another level, let these people find out for themselves. You seem to have found something to hold on to & are enjoying it. You could see it as a stairway, holding onto the banister, & with each step forward up the stair you are getting stronger, better, more comfortable & without seeing, the old shackles are shaking off like fairy dust You will be proud of yourself

Congratulations on navigating the first semester, Eldo! I definitely see you as more of a research type rather than purely 'take a class' type, are there PhD tracks available? (more importantly, could you get funded research assistant positions?)

As for working through old anger and shackles (as Az puts it), she is right. As you get older you get more into the mode of not giving a flying fuck what other people think, which is very good for mental health. I remember wilting inside when Mom would wear curlers on trips to the grocery store with us kids; now I know she was just comfortably old enough not to give a damn, and that's a good place to be. Curlers are a long way from self-harm, but the very fact that you are talking openly about it means you are approaching stage 2: no longer concerning yourself with other's opinions.

I used to have huge mental hangups because of the way I talk and how other people would react to it. Once I finally had positive experiences via attending a performing arts high school (we were ALL freaks) I began to learn not to worry about it. It's just part of what I am. Becoming a teacher was a huge step - no more fears.

Hmm...I see the problem. You can't do anything else once you walk out the door, so sort of precludes doing something to put it off.

Oh, got it! You're probably not avoiding get out the door so much as avoiding the thing you need to do once you get out the door. So here's 2 options:

1. Convince yourself you have to do this huge chore at home (build a bookcase etc) this will get you the hell out the door to avoid it
2. Convince yourself there's something else you have to do once you're out the door, which will convince you to go out the door to do something else instead (the original goal).

Bluebottle wrote:

halfwise wrote:the comic writer James Thurber had a trick for beating procrastination, and it really works.   Find some task that's sort of tedious and unimportant - like rearranging the books on your bookshelf - then work hard to convince yourself it's really the most important thing to get done.   It takes some effort convincing yourself, but it's worth it.  As soon as you know you simply must rearrange those books, you set about doing anything else to put it off.  If you also convince yourself that other thing that you used to have to get done is really not that important and rather trivial, you'll soon end up doing it to avoid rearranging the books; anything but rearrange those damn books.

I've tried it, it really works.  But then the task of convincing yourself you really have to do this unimportant task becomes a new thing to avoid, but at least it works the first time.

This.. need to do this But what when the most important thing you have to do is get out the door, and you spend your time procrastinating getting out the door?

{{Has anyone advised just getting drunk instead yet? Just checking! }}}

Thanks guys, I appreciate the sentiment.

halfwise wrote:Congratulations on navigating the first semester, Eldo!    I definitely see you as more of a research type rather than purely 'take a class' type, are there PhD tracks available?  (more importantly, could you get funded research assistant positions?)

The Master of Library and Information Science is the standard first professional degree required for full librarian positions in most (all?) states. It's possible to go on and get a PhD in information studies of one sort or another but were I to go for a Doctorate I would probably try for one in a content specialty (knowing me, political science or history) since a lot of academic libraries want librarians to have both an MLIS and an additional Master's or Doctorate in a specific field. I'm not sure if that's for me but I suppose there's a lot of time left to find out.

Let me add my congratulations too Eldo!

You've made it through your first semester now. Now you know what the game looks like at the next level, and you can start refining your strategy.

You probably know this already, but almost everybody else in their first semester was wrestling with some of the same self-doubts that you were; they just manifest themselves differently in different people and some are better at hiding them than others. This often looks like overconfidence. You should be able to see that now if you look at the next class of newbies.

Keep in mind that grad school is a place for blurring the social lines between student and faculty. Aside from the projects themselves, and basic critical thinking which you've already got down, what you're learning now is to make your case with conviction and sometimes disagree (respectfully) with highly knowledgeable people. If you think about it, you've been practicing for this on forums for years! Once you've mastered those skills, a second MA or PhD in any field will be a relative walk in the park.

Eldorion wrote:Thanks guys, I appreciate the sentiment.

halfwise wrote:Congratulations on navigating the first semester, Eldo!    I definitely see you as more of a research type rather than purely 'take a class' type, are there PhD tracks available?  (more importantly, could you get funded research assistant positions?)

The Master of Library and Information Science is the standard first professional degree required for full librarian positions in most (all?) states. It's possible to go on and get a PhD in information studies of one sort or another but were I to go for a Doctorate I would probably try for one in a content specialty (knowing me, political science or history) since a lot of academic libraries want librarians to have both an MLIS and an additional Master's or Doctorate in a specific field. I'm not sure if that's for me but I suppose there's a lot of time left to find out.

congrats Eldo you have plenty of time to decide, but the main thing is to do something you really enjoy otherwise its a chore. Doing a PhD is pretty hardcore at times and the thing that will keep you motivated most is the interest in your subject, it keeps you going when you hit a thingie or I my case a procrastinationfest.

Continuing what Dave said - the clearest signal that you are ready for your PhD is when you start correcting your advisor.

Anyway, I think fields like history or political science would be ripe for an information technology approach. With so many sources online it's a whole different ballgame now.

Thank you for the encouragement and advice, everyone. It means a lot and it's good stuff to keep in mind.

David H wrote:Keep in mind that grad school is a place for blurring the social lines between student and faculty.  Aside from the projects themselves, and basic critical thinking which you've already got down, what you're learning now is to make your case with conviction and sometimes disagree (respectfully) with highly knowledgeable people. If you think about it, you've been practicing for this on forums for years! Once you've mastered those skills, a second MA or PhD in any field will be a relative walk in the park.

I do feel that spending so much of my adolescence and young adulthood on forums has been an education in itself in many ways.

Well you write better than most PhDs I know, and have the critical and analytical skills. Now that you are in grad school don't be afraid to use them publicly. You ain't no kid, go ahead and speak up, just like you have been in the anonymous forums.

i am dying...

Of what? Does it have interesting symptoms? Or at least an interesting cure?

the cure is friday at 15:01.. because then it is christmas... and hopefully a sufficient grade on the exam..

Ah. remember if you study drunk you should take the exam drunk.

Also, I find a slight fever is helpful for an exam. Calms you down. But it has to be slight.

no i am writing the exam now! it's like a home-writing thing.. so fuck load of words, too little time, like, four days... everyone is in shock and disbelief... and i am drunk and it is due on friday.. at 15:00...

Good luck Norc! How long does it need to be?

halfwise wrote:Ah.  remember if you study drunk you should take the exam drunk.

Also, I find a slight fever is helpful for an exam.  Calms you down.  But it has to be slight.

When I worked at Argos a few years back I turned up to work once still hungover and actually kinda drunk from the night before (my friend was moving to America to get married, a couple of quick goodbye drinks soon turned into a dozen shots etc, thankfully I had some sense and stopped eventually, thank god for coffee and my shift starting at midday...) but I was so jaded by the job by that point I don't think anyone really noticed the difference, felt like total shit all day but carried on as normal, it was an utterly stupid thing to do but I wasn't alone in doing it, not sure I could even drink that much anymore and I never drink two days in a row these days...

Reading threads like these makes me both a) jealous I never had the brains/money/drive/interest in persuing an academic career or going to uni and B) thankful I don't, sounds rewarding but hard work