Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

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Post by azriel Mon May 13, 2013 9:11 pm

Now I remember where I first heard that name ! (Canthiss) wasnt it in the story with the druid, "Circle of Stone",.....oh goodie ! more fun !

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon May 13, 2013 9:13 pm

Yup- he was the protector of the Baron. Although this version is him as an idiot (basically Lydia has stolen his character!)

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:54 am

Following Lydia departing to become the Doctors new assistant Canthiss has fallen into a bit of a slump, and a mid life crisis.
To get over it he has got a tattoo, dyed his hair black and decided to get back into the world of Skyrim as the Dragonborn, Hero of the Saga, and to find a new sidekick.


{{{Real reasons for this- after my HD died  I had to reinstall and restart the game, and took the opportunity to do some mod tweaking, particularly climate and lighting, which hopefully these pics will reflect}}

Canthiss and the Hunt for the Side-kick.

Right. Riften. What a dump! Mad 
Hey, she looks a bit like Lydia!

"Hello there, do you know who i am?....Actually no I am not and as far as I know my mother has never met a frost troll let alone done that with one!" Evil or Very Mad 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 1_zps9c39d261

"Hey dont walk away to the pub! Im Canthiss, Dragonborn, hero of the Ages! I'll just follow you in you know, youre missing the opportunity of a lifetime, and only a reasonable chance of certain death!"

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 2_zps389c1d96

"Fine be like that, you'll regret it!"
Must be someone else in here that looks worthy of being my side kick.
Oh great, a lizard man and a weirdo in a hoodie Mad 

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Right acoording to the barlizard the place for heroes is underneath the town. Of course- a secret HQ of heroes! Perfect.

I dont fecking believe it! Their HQ is inn a sewer! They have tables set out with food. Ugh! Thats minging! No Right best avoid the menu then, and the drink!

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Still must be someone here.
Not you though, what the hell thats on your face, you stuck dead badgers on there?

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Must be someone here. Not the barman, anyone who can only get a job manning a bar in a sewer is not hero material!
Hello! Theres a couple of potential cuties, um, I mean heroines.
"Hello ladies, ever heard of the Dragonborn?"

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Several hours later Canthiss awakes partly naked and robbed in a dark corner of the sewer.

"I hate Riften!" Evil or Very Mad 

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And with that cry the Dragonborn abandons Riften with great speed, stopping only to buy new trousers on the way.
Fearlessly he heads into the frozen north in search of his new sidekick and carrier of miscellaneous crap.


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Unfortunately the fliers for a sidekick did not lead to productive job interviews.

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"Look calm down! Its not racist to put on the flier 'no dragons, trolls or dogs'. Its speciest!"

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Failing to find anyone willing to join hi his life threatening quest as Draonborn Canthiss tires of being frozen in the north and attacked by Horkers and returns south to slightly warmer climes.

"Hey whats that over there? A fight?"

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"Hey Stormcloaks fighting Imperials. Excellent. All I need do is watch and wait and whoever is left standing can be my new sidekick having proven themselves worthy!" Nod 

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"Good fight this. Aha only two left standing now! Which one will be honoured by becoming my new sidekick (I hope its the girl! bounce )

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"I dont fecking believe it! Bloody idiots- theyve only all gone and killed each other. Useless feckers!"

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"What was that roar! Ah bugger! Time to do the job I suppose." Mad 

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"Hey fellow heroes! A warrior and an elf mage. Great! Ill just wait and see who can defeat the dragon then. That mage is pretty nifty, and cute Nod "

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"That'll be the warriors turn over then" Twisted Evil 

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"whats that Dragon doing now? Hey! Stupid dragon your shouting at the ground you idiot! Brain the size of a pea you know. Whats that supposed to do then?"

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"Oh bugger it!"

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"Fine then. Time to impress the elf chick I think into being my sidekick.
Hey elf bird, check this out!"

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"Oh shit!"

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"Ah surprise! Dragonborn rules!"

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"Ok and up we go. Whooa! I love this hero shit. Hey look a me!"

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"Right, just like the barmaid in Bruma. Grab the ears and just hold on for dear life!"

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"Ah have some Nord steel in your tiny pea brain dragon!"

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"And leap off and land looking cool as shit! Oh yeah! I am Canthiss! Dragonborn! Mutha fuckers!"

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"Did you see that elf bird? Hey did you just make a really loud whoomp noise right behind me and shake the ground?"

"Ah shit!"

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Much dragon slaying later.

"Well how about it elf bird? What? Illia? Yeah whatever. You want to hook up with the greatest legend of our age? What do you mean no? Mad  Fine, how about if I pay you? How much? pale  Fine!" Evil or Very Mad 

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"You know I dont like the look of that sky much? Was that thunder?" Suspect 

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affraid  "Holy shit!"

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"Right thats it, we are getting the hell out of here!
Can you sing Illia? Lydia used to be my chronicle too you see.
Yeah your a replacement, get used to it.
Is it just me or does it seem like someone's trying to aim that lightning?" Suspect 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 37_zps3b58d224


to be continued....

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Post by azriel Sat Jul 27, 2013 4:02 pm

lol! 

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Post by leelee Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:09 pm

I am so challenged, for I don't know what this is all about, but it is humorous and the pictures are amazing.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:13 pm

Not to worry leelee, its not really about anything- I take screenshots as I play the game (Skyrim its from) then I watch them back as a slideshow and see what ludicrous tale I could weave to link them all together, then I bung it here!

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Post by azriel Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:21 pm

Bloody glad you do ! Its funny ! Very Happy 

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If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:25 pm

Thanks Azriel. Very Happy 

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Post by Rigby Sat Jul 27, 2013 7:08 pm

That skooma party last night was pretty sweet, the Jarl is still bathing in Riften's canal, and Hrongar and Farengar are at Sanguine's afterparty.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:43 pm

I thought Id put these up- not a continuation of the tale just for anyone who has Skyrim on pc and is wondering about mods I use.
I recently added a volumetric cloud mod (basically clouds, mist, fog, ect are now actual objects in the game world, not clever backdrops-

The frozen north-

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Vlcsnap-2013-08-04-01h45m06s226_zps84f215b5

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A misty day near Riften-

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And a darkly foggy Masquith-

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These two shots were taken about half an hour (game time) apart an you can see how a huge thick dark fog has descended-

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Vlcsnap-2013-08-04-13h14m51s124_zps649874c4

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A shaft of sun penetrates the fog-

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The main mods involved in the look here are-

Apachii skyhair, Bandolier Bags and pouches, better dynamic snow, better males, birds of Skyrim, Calientes female body mod, chimneys for Skyrim, cloaks of Skyrim, dynavision depth of field, enchanced lights fx, enchanced night Skyrim, moss rocks, project reality- climates of Tamriel, Real clouds, real ice, realistic lighting overhaul, skyrim floral overhaul, Skyrim HD Textures, Towns and villages enchanced, Water redux, wet and cold, and Winteris Coming.

Those are the main ones affecting the look of the game.
In terms of altering gameplay I would also highly recommend Frostfall- Hypothermia Camping Survival- which really changes how you play as you have to think long and hard if that shortcut over the mountains is worth it, or if you will just freeze to death when night comes if you are still up there- it makes gathering firewood have a real point! And choice of clothing important- that magical super tough armour might be good in a fight but no good compared to a pair of fur boots and a fur jerkin and cloak at keeping the cold out. It forces decisions on you and to take the landscape itself into consideration when planning journeys.
I also recommend joining the Skyrim Nexus and using their free mod manager to install everything painlessly. And downloading BOSS to sort out the load order of mods for you to minimise clashes and system crashes.


Last edited by Pettytyrant101 on Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:23 pm; edited 6 times in total

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Post by Norc Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:45 pm

this thread takes forever to load and is a bitch scroll.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:49 pm

Sorry Norc- its because the pics are captured at the resolution Im running the game at- and if I shrink them down they lose a lot of fine detail.
Look on the bright side- once its loaded once any time you go back it will be there instantly.

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Post by Norc Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:59 pm

no.
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:00 pm

Its quite an amusing tale. Might be worth it. Just open the page in a tab and leave it to load while you browse elsewhere.

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Post by Norc Sun Aug 04, 2013 2:01 pm

meeh.. maybe,
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:08 pm

Ok Illia- we need to head north. Why? Because Im the frigging Dragonborn and I say we do, ok? Mad 
Hey look a Minotaur- these guys are really dangerous, I'll take both of us to deal with this. You ready?

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Any time you like Illia- get zapping! Now would be a very good time! Illia!!

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Run! Run away! Why didn't you use our magic?
What do you mean you've never killed anything before?
What kind of a bloody wizard are you?
Childrens parties! :facepalm: 

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ROAR!

What was that? Oh shit!

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Oh Talos! A frost dragon! Illia time to learn to kill! Quickly.
Arggh cold, cold cold!

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Well at least that takes care of the Minotaur- when it comes back I want to see some magic from you- chuck a fireball at it or something for Talos sake.

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Ok Illia, Ive got it distracted for you! pale 

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Crackle- Whoooomph!

Holy crap! Um ok, yeah that was good...

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Several days march later into the cold north-

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Hey dont practice on Horkers Illia- firstly they are harmless, and secondly they are pack animals- attack one they all come after you.
Yes ok this ones on its own but still.

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Ah crap.

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Much innocent Horker slaughter later Canthiss and Illia decide to set up camp for the night.
Next morning-


Fuck sake! Did you stay up all night killing stuff?

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Come on, lets get going. And try not to kill anything on the way unless I say so.

Crackle fizzz

What did I just say to you? Evil or Very Mad 

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You know I think you might have a problem. Suspect 

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Hey look- that looks interesting- and there's a hut and some people, we can ask them for directions.

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crackle whoomp

What are you doing? Oh bugger!

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You definitely have a problem you know. Mad 

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Hey look an entrance- maybe there is someone in there I can talk to and get directions from- DONT kill anyone- got that Illia?

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Hey look there's a lass over there and some other folks- great we can ask them.

Whooomph!

What the fuck! You blew her head off!

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Ok- we really need to have a chat about this. :facepalm: 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Vlcsnap-2013-08-07-08h26m20s60_zps48a33197



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Post by halfwise Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:30 pm

Great concept and a lot of fun...given the time to load and read. But I'd like some better shots of Lydia: all seem to be murky.

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Post by azriel Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:38 pm

lol! 

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Aug 12, 2013 6:33 pm

I'd like some better shots of Lydia- Halfwise

Lydia or Illia?

Here's one of each-

Lydia

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Skyrimwallpapers53_zpsb0ab248c

Illia

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Vlcsnap-2013-08-04-01h31m16s111_zps5c0feff5

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- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Post by Pettytyrant101 Mon Aug 12, 2013 7:33 pm

Having slaughtered everyone inside Canthiss and Illia return back outside to make camp for the night.

Look at that view Illia, lovely, well apart from the snow and stuff and being cold enough to freeze the bollocks of a brass monkey.
Why dont you try enjoying the view and you know, less psychotic killing everything for a bit. How about that?

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 1_zps8a5fa2b2

We can have a nice, peaceful, night. Ive even got us a lovely mushroom stew on the go. So just relax.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 2_zpseba9f541


Mmm, do these mushrooms taste a bit, odd, to you Illia?
My head feels a bit, weird. No 
Whoooa! Shocked 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 3_zps7d66dc24

Trippy visuals! Are you getting this too Illia? Shocked 
Remind me never again to pick mushrooms in a world full of magic!

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 4_zps2617f8f1

Aaggh! affraid Bad trip! Bad trip!

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 5_zpsf5d6abf6

Its going to eat me!!! affraid  Wow bendy time! My head is so high!

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 6_zps407dc7fa


What the?! Illia, I dont think we are in Skyrim anymore!

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 7_zps17514378

Whatever you do- dont eat those mushrooms!
Come on lets go, over there.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 8_zpsc4d04e0e


"ANSWER MY RIDDLES!"

Did that wall just talk to me? It bloody did too didnt it?

"RIDDLE ONE."

No, no. I hate fucking riddles, not my strong point. Illia, do your thing- answer the talking walls riddle with severe prejudice.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 9_zps2bebfffe


I've never seen someone hack their way through a huge face before- sadly I dont think I will forget it in a hurry either, especially on long dark nights. pale

Lets just see whats in here shall we.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 10_zps5da6fc08 

Hey can you hear a sort of hissing- like a pot of water boiling on a fire?

HISS-CLANK

I definitely heard that- what goes hiss clank?

Ah bugger. pale 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 12_zps147e0a19


_________________
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A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view



*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 Empty Re: Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim

Post by azriel Mon Aug 12, 2013 7:42 pm

lol! 

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:30 am

Having inadvertently ate magic mushrooms, in a magical world, Canthiss and Illia find themselves transported somewhere a bit, trippy.
And now find themselves confronted with a clockwork warrior armed with a very large hammer!


Any time you like Illia! No, really, bit of  a big fellow this one, some help would be appreciated! ILLIA! Evil or Very Mad 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 1_zps780fa3a2

Hah! Take that you clockwork wanker! Oh Yeah! Dragonborn Rocks! :carrot: 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 1b_zps896abe4b

OK Illia. Whats going on here? Suspect  Every time I turn my back you slaughter everyone in the room, when I need your help, nothing. Evil or Very Mad 
What?
Well obviously its hard not to admire my skills.  Nod  I can see that, I mean you are female and I am the Dragonborn, Hero of the Age, fantastically handsome, muscle bound and of course modest in my greatness. Nod 

Hey! What with these lights?  Suspect  This place just keeps getting trippier. Mad 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 3_zps4c8450ec

Look, there's a button over there. Always press buttons Illia, note that well, important adventuring tip that. Nod 
affraid You bastard! Well don't just stand there, help me woman!

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 4_zps2716ee90

Ouch that really smarts! Well at least it seems to have done something. Either that or I'm getting a second hit of mushroom.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 5_zps25d18deb

Hey look that box has opened! And its got a hot chick in it. :carrot: 
What do you mean she's a vampire. That's not a coffin, its, a box.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 6_zps46becc64

Look she is not a vampire, she's a hot goth in a box and she needs my, our, help.
I mean what about this place makes you think she is a vampire?

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 8_zps402ab153

What gargoyles? What gargoyle behind me?
Ah, that gargoyle. pale 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 9_zps2b87a8a2


OK, lets do this. And by that I mean this time you better bloody do something, got it?

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 10_zpsdab4998d

Oww, two ice spikes through the groin! pale Well at least your helping now.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 11_zps95493422

Really, I didnt know you hated vampires quite so much. Well no I never asked, but I mean come on, there's been me to talk about.
But she, is not a vampire. Got that. No blowing her head when I'm not looking! Evil or Very Mad 
Lets just get out of here.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 12_zps866a51e2

Would you two stop arguing.  Mad  The Lady says she cant remember what happened to her, and she is not a bloody vampire Illia.
By Talos, all she wants is for us to take her to the only thing she can remember, which is her house. Not very vampire that is it?
So quit grumbling, and don't think I haven't seen your fingers twitching, no killing! Got it?

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 13_zpsa2150182

Nearly there.
Oh give it up Illia, she is not a vampire!  Mad 
Does this even look like the sort of place vampires would live.
Ok, but that's only because its night. Its probably lovely during the day.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 14_zps5cc2c9a7

This is your house? Um, impressive. pale 
Um, yeah, we'd love to come for an ale. pale 
What do you mean your staying here Illia? Mad 
You are my Housecarl  and you'll do what I say.
She is not a vampire, she just lives in a spooky old castle.
This is Skyrim, there's loads of old castles everywhere.

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 15_zps607e5a91

Inside the castle.

Oh, your just going to change. You now I don't think I caught your name, in case you haven't heard me mention it several hundred times on our way here I'm Canthiss, Dragonborn, Hero of the Age.
Oh crap, that sort of change.  pale  Run! affraid 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 16_zps0685f061

Ok, OK, don't look so bloody smug Illia, so she was a vampire. Evil or Very Mad 

Canthiss and Lydia- a tale of Skyrim - Page 3 17_zpsb7f3fa48


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Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Post by Amarië Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:40 am

Laughing Liking this. Nod

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Post by Pettytyrant101 Tue Aug 13, 2013 11:45 am

Thanks Amarie.
Although its ruining my game as when something supposedly serious happens all Im thinking about is ways to make it extremely silly on here. Very Happy 

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A Green And Pleasant Land

Compiled and annotated by Eldy.

- get your copy here for a limited period- free*

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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales
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Post by azriel Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:14 pm

Im finding it great fun also ! Very Happy 

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