continuing proofs America is wacko

Hey, I went through the same period in my life (in mirror image form). Took a while to snap out of it. But here's the terrible secret most men are desperately hoping you don't figure out (and I have to hide it or a ravenous pack of 'em will be out for my hide):

{{{ WE JUST AIN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE. }}}

Oh I am always worth the trouble --- or I always cause the trouble ... can't remember now.... {{{I used my powers as a Moderator to read your encrypted message, Halfwise. Just in case you were having an inappropriate conversation with Ally. As you know, I like to keep an eye on the Lasses here - both old and young! }}}


{{{Hey Ally, I like you! and I'm a man - of sorts.... ... ... ... I guess that's small comfort.... }}}

Oh who is this Vision
with mind so elegant? pristinely so,
of gentle intelligence,
of divine presence
an veritable Angel of Earth
(that's Middlearth and Forumshire);

creative Soul,
witty Spirit,
Intelligence what may at times
seem far too esoteric (and wise?)
for Googlebrained Guys to comprehend
(dumb young guys who have not a clue
about true beauty)

oh forsooth
she comes revealed as her True Self
and verily;
mysterious at times
but only esoteric 'cause foolish Men
(like Petty, Halfy and Dave)
are too thick to see
her luscious
depth
and resonant
elegance and right gorgeousness

oh if only boys her age
werent such
thick heads
(like the likes of Petty, Halfy and Dave
those old boys, with skulls so thick
that useful brains can't fit in there -
but only a squashed carrot -
in Dave's case)

oh sadly she reclines
by her computer
trysting in Forumshire
where the Menfolk (or hobbits, least ways)
know her for her
beauty
brains
and
brevity



"Ode to Ally" -- as what Orwell Thinks, who is sadly Old Enough to be her Grandfather - which breaks his heart of course, 'cause he Knows a Beautiful Sexy Brilliant Girl - inwardly and outwardly - when He sees One; and him a Man, and so Probably Thick of Skull, almost - but not quite - as Thick as Petty, Halfy and Dave the Carrot Man.

Wisey Banks

In my teens I liked ponies and kittens
In my twenties I thought I was ugly and stupid and fat
In my thirties I thought I was ok if only I could get rid of the cellulite, spots, fat, hair, freckles, thighs, etc
In my forties I couldnt give a monkies, what you see is what you get, and it could be worse
In my fifties I like ponies and kittens
In my sixties well everyday is a blessing
ditto seventies, eighties.....

ode to sods law

In my teens I was drunk a lot.
In my twenties I was drunk most of the time.
In my thirties I was drunk all the time.
In my forties I am drunk as we speak.
In my 50's I will be pickled and preserved.
In my 60's planted and rested...
Was life good or bad?
I dunno, don't ask me,
I was drunk the whole time you see.

ode to learning nothing at all and being happy about it.

(From the Holy Book of Buckie, psalm 3.25AM)

lifes rich tapestry, what a hoot!

Wisey Banks wrote:Oh who is this Vision
with mind so elegant? pristinely so,
of gentle intelligence,
of divine presence
an veritable Angel of Earth
(that's Middlearth and Forumshire);

creative Soul,
witty Spirit,
Intelligence what may at times
seem far too esoteric (and wise?)
for Googlebrained Guys to comprehend
(dumb young guys who have not a clue
about true beauty)

oh forsooth
she comes revealed as her True Self
and verily;
mysterious at times
but only esoteric 'cause foolish Men
(like Petty, Halfy and Dave)
are too thick to see
her luscious
depth
and resonant
elegance and right gorgeousness

oh if only boys her age
werent such
thick heads
(like the likes of Petty, Halfy and Dave
those old boys, with skulls so thick
that useful brains can't fit in there -
but only a squashed carrot -
in Dave's case)

oh sadly she reclines
by her computer
trysting in Forumshire
where the Menfolk (or hobbits, least ways)
know her for her
beauty
brains
and
brevity



"Ode to Ally" -- as what Orwell Thinks, who is sadly Old Enough to be her Grandfather - which breaks his heart of course, 'cause he Knows a Beautiful Sexy Brilliant Girl - inwardly and outwardly - when He sees One; and him a Man, and so Probably Thick of Skull, almost - but not quite - as Thick as Petty, Halfy and Dave the Carrot Man.

Wisey Banks

Hahaha! If only I was any of those things! And no, obviously Orwell isn't as thick of skull Wisey; considering his avi is half a women yipppe!

You are those things Ally, but it's also refreshing that you're humble about it. Ánd you can't argue with channelin anyhow, no way!

Orwell wrote:You are those things Ally, but it's also refreshing that you're humble about it. Ánd you can't argue with channelin anyhow, no way!

I'm not used to accepting compliments (it's a rare occurrence as I'm sure you can imagine) so you & Wisey can just stop it now!

Just do the usual Brit thing when given a compliment Ally, feel uncomfortable and stare at the ground tll they stop doing it!

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Just do the usual Brit thing when given a compliment Ally, feel uncomfortable and stare at the ground tll they stop doing it!

Well that's pretty much what I'm like with any interaction with the opposite sex!

I find water balloons to be an effective answer to disconserting compliments or any other type of awkward silence.

How many sides does a triangle have ? It doesn't have any sides, hurrrrr 1.

Please tell me thats not representive and they just cherry picked in edting.

That's what they always do for this sort of video, Petty.

You should settle the matter Eldo- get a camera- go along the street- ask similar queations of your fellow Americans and present it raw and unedited so we can judge just how stupid exactly you lot really are- the rest of the world demands to know before we decide if you really should be left in charge of masses of nukes! I mean look what happened when we let you lot have a shot of running the economy.

does anyone remember Jade Goody on big brother ENGLISH big brother thinking it was East Angular? cumon people the US doesnt have a monopoly on stupid. I have seen things here where I live to make your eyes water its so dumb.

Oh there are stupid people everywhere- its the sheer desinity of numbers of stupidity in the US as presented that can be troubling.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:You should settle the matter Eldo- get a camera- go along the street- ask similar queations of your fellow Americans and present it raw and unedited so we can judge just how stupid exactly you lot really are- the rest of the world demands to know before we decide if you really should be left in charge of masses of nukes! I mean look what happened when we let you lot have a shot of running the economy.

Don't all the standardized tests and such provide a clear enough evaluation of where America stands in the world? I'll pit American stupid against anywhere else's stupid. Remember, this is where a state legislature seriously considered legally redefining the value of pi (though the rumors that it was to be set equal to 3 turn out to be unfounded).

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/805/did-a-state-legislature-once-pass-a-law-saying-pi-equals-3

Well I just watched a Fox news round table discussion on the Queens Jubille- and such a mix of bigotry, unfounded histroical claims and complete ignorance of how the Monarchy functions I was astonished at, even for Fox. One of the suposed panelists even boasted sevral times that he had done his research on Twitter!
These people wouldnt get past security on the front door at BBC News (even SKY NEws would laugh them out the building) let alone allowed to voice unfounded, unresearched news items. Just shocking in almost every level.

The offending article is here- it would be quicker to list the facts they get right than those they get wrong- as they get none right at all.

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1675278418001/do-americans-crave-royalty/?playlist_id=87485

Pettytyrant101 wrote:
These people wouldnt get past security on the front door at BBC News ... let alone allowed to voice unfounded, unresearched news items.
Just shocking in almost every level.

And likewise good, balanced, well researched news would never get past the front door at FOX. It just doesn't sell advertising in their business model.

Remember this is part of the Murdock sensationalist empire. Just Shocking in Almost Every Level should be the motto on their banner.

Sky News is Murdoch too and even they wouldnt let this sort of thing on air. People would not accept such mass inaccuracies from a news channel.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Sky News is Murdoch too and even they wouldnt let this sort of thing on air. People would not accept such mass inaccuracies from a news channel.

I bet they would if they were talking about how ignorant Americans are.

We dont have news discussions about that- everyone already knows so its not news!

{{{}}}