Happy Birthday Mrs Figg

Oh Mrs Figg, I think Wisey noted the error 'cause he changed it to "sprungle bunger', which everyone knows in Forumshire send up a pleasant spray, rose and jasmine scented. Those 'pimple bungers' are what teenage hobbits light up, leave on doorsteps, knock on the door, then run off into the night giggling like banshees. Wonderful Channeller that Wisey, but he often posts his channellings before he reads and edits any grammatical or spelling issues. I apologise on his behalf that you saw it, he feared it would be the case, and he retired quickly in shame to his channell-cellar. .. He's quite upset about it, you see. As he didn't want one word - nay, not half a word - to lessen your happiness on your Happy Day! (I'll tell him it appealed to your impish sense of humour, so no real harm done, but I daresay he'll still be heart broken, the big softie! )

tell him to come out of his whatsit immediately I like pimple bungers. We are expecting you all at the Party Tree btw, have you told Odo not to bring his trumpet? it scares the crumplehornwackers. A nice sing song is what we want. I wonder if Ringdrotten brings his salted Herring and Penguin flavoured crisps, they are nice with Beer.

Odo was a bit miffed about the trumpet but when I suggested he bring his bansheewailer, he brightened consdiderably - I hope that was the right thing of me to do, Mrs Figg. As to Ringo Herring, never you mind, he's always going off doing his responsible Fjordianlandia-protecting Real World activities, and spares barely a thought for us while he's gone (I'm guessing). (Um... I hope that horrid Fjordianlandian lass - Norc? I think that's her name - well, I hope she's not invited. Quite a rude girl in my opinion. I thought Sqwaych was bad enough... )

oh dear the herring quota will be sadly depleted while he is gone.

Herrings - truth be known - have nothing on Atlantic salmon... mmm-mmmm - yummy.

And a Happy drunken Birthday from me Mrs Figg!

Oh dear! Mrs Figg a fugitive? What ever did happen to her husband? What was her crime? Oooh where is Pretty...? I hope this isn't all related somehow...? I'm frightened...

Oh good Eru! I never trusted that handsome hobbit! Bree-lander through and through... Queer! Queer-as! Where's our Admin when we need him? Missing as usual! And the Mayor? Missing too! And Mr Tyrant - he's at least a Moderator - not that anyone would know to judge from his behaviour. All missing! No wonder this place is such a mess. There's that DI Eldo and Sgt Herring - but they've curiously disappeared of late... Oh sweet Illuvatar stroke my primroses - I hope it won't be left up to me to call a meeting... I don't think I could bear yet another Secret Council, as a matter of fact! ... ... ...

Hope this won't mean the Party's off... I was sooo looking forward to it.

COR BLIMEY GUVNOR! me secrets out! I blame that Detective Eldo and his faithful companion DI Orwell, their rooting around in my drawers in Bree have found insinerating hevidence. It wasnt my fault, that OzHobbit slipped on the eel juice and fell, yes fell I tell you! on the end of my plank like foot. It wasnt my fault that a certain ace Reporter from that papalantir paper the Petty of the Purist, took some photos that went viral on Youtube. it wasnt my fault that my ex husband Ferny FartFlange went on a drive-by apple lobbing spree. I thought my past was a distant memory, those days in The Scrubs with Susan the biker gone from my mind. Its all come back to haunt me, and on my birthday toooooooo!

odo banks wrote:There's that DI Eldo and Sgt Herring - but they've curiously disappeared of late...

Is not updating every six hours considered a disappearance now? Perhaps I should be flattered that their adventures have aroused such interest.

Mrs Figg wrote:DI Orwell

I thought Orwell was a pirate.

Aye Aye capn, so e is so e is arrrrr!

Yes, it's DI Eldo and Sgt Herring, Mrs Figg. Even I know that. And it was my ancestor Orwell McOdo you're thinking of Eldo... It's like no one pays attention here - either that, or there's so many versions of EVERYTHING, no one knows who's who or who did what, or when. I must say, my head spins at times...

Anyhow, I'm pleased to hear you're dearly departed husband is merely the victim of an accident, Mrs Figg {{{yeah, sure! }}}. Frankly, I think DI Eldo and that gay chap, Sgt Ringo Herring, have enough to investigate already -- and them behind schedule by at least six hours already!

odo banks wrote:And it was my ancestor Orwell McOdo you're thinking of Eldo... It's like no one pays attention here - either that, or there's so many versions of EVERYTHING, no one knows who's who or who did what, or when. I must say, my head spins at times...

Orwell McOdo III, however, is a contemporary of yours and is also a pirate. At least, he is in one part of the Forumshire Multiverse.

Frankly, I think DI Eldo and that gay chap, Sgt Ringo Herring, have enough to investigate already -- and them behind schedule by at least six hours already!

Should I take this as your way of saying I should stop messing around and go write the next chapter?

Well as sgt Herring has gone off chasing Norwals or Killer Whales or summat, I thought I would make a sub and put DI Orwell in the mix, as everyone knows DI Eldo needs someone to bounce his extravagant theories at, and lift the plastic sheet, as he has a delicate tummy.

Mrs Figg wrote:Well as sgt Herring has gone off chasing Norwals or Killer Whales or summat, I thought I would make a sub and put DI Orwell in the mix, as everyone knows DI Eldo needs someone to bounce his extravagant theories at, and lift the plastic sheet, as he has a delicate tummy.

Nice try, Mrs Figg, but no cigar!

Eldorion wrote:

odo banks wrote:And it was my ancestor Orwell McOdo you're thinking of Eldo... It's like no one pays attention here - either that, or there's so many versions of EVERYTHING, no one knows who's who or who did what, or when. I must say, my head spins at times...

Orwell McOdo III, however, is a contemporary of yours and is also a pirate. At least, he is in one part of the Forumshire Multiverse.

Whoops! My mistake. But Odo's right, it's hard to keep up. I blame you, Eldo. You are the Admin, after all. (I'd blame Petty too, but as everyone knows what a buffoon he is, why bother? )

Eldorion wrote:

Frankly, I think DI Eldo and that gay chap, Sgt Ringo Herring, have enough to investigate already -- and them behind schedule by at least six hours already!

Should I take this as your way of saying I should stop messing around and go write the next chapter?

Quick on the uptake, or what?

(I'd blame Petty too, but as everyone knows what a buffoon he is, why bother? )- Orwell

Is everyone spoiling for a claiming the night? One by one or a'the gether!

sigh! too much buckie I suppose. I wish it was my birthday everyday and have articles and photos in The News of the Pure.

I was thinking this a very disrespectable way for everyone to behave on your Birthday, Mrs Figg, but then I thought, it's exactly the kind of behaviour one would expect on your Birthday!

I knew it was too good to be true, and the argy bargy would out! Im off to see a man about a troll.

If a party doesn't end with a fight its not a real party!

Don't be an idiot, you idiot. There's more to Forumshire than that, idiot!*




{{{*Do you like the new insult, Petty. The new girl from Fjordianlandia taught me it! }}}