The Needlehole Mysteries

thanks Amarie but I like reading you two Ffyordlandians and seeing what you get up to.

who's turn is it now? Amarië?

Yup, haven't had time. I'm trying to get the ball rolling.

“You absolute clodpoll Nora! Of course I need to update Adobe Reader!”
Nora sighed. The older you got, she reflected, the more intelligent the insults became; and although she failed to spot the reference Odo assured her it was an insult of the highest quality.
“OK, let’s open up Forumbook Odo.” snapped Nora. “And by the way, helping you orgainze your friends list is NOT an emergency.”
“Oh, look Odo! You have a message here from Orc and Goblin Mercenary Services...is it true you cancelled their Christmas party?” said Nora.
Odo remained silent.
“There’s a lawsuit here for your International Eagle Airlines...” Nora continued before Odo shouted at her.
“Okay, let us get back to our original purpose- sorting out my friends list.”
Nora looked up at Odo before navigating to his friends list.
“8000 friends here Odo- surely you don’t know them all!” exclaimed Nora.
“Walk a mile in my shoes Nora, I am a titan of industry, entrepreneur, a media mogul- of course I do!” replied Odo.
“Well Odo, if you were to walk a mile in my shoes, you'd probably be pretty uncomfortable since I wear decapitated human heads for shoes.”
“Moving on...” said Odo and the pair of them got back to work.
After an hour of hard work they had managed to create a list of 500 people who Odo had not heard from for a reasonably long length of time.

“Are you sure it is safe to remove them as friends Nora?” asked Odo as Nora was leaving his house.
“Well do you ever talk to them?” replied Nora.
“No. They’re all dead.” answered Odo.
“Well I guess it’s safe to unfriend them then.” and Nora closed the door behind her.

unless odo wants to be haunted.

Ringo had now reached his 14th day on the job, the weather was wet and the roads muddy and his hair a mess. No, this was no fun. No fun at all. The pay did not match the workload, but the glittering piece of mithril Amarië had slipped into his pocket the eight day ‘for service well rendered’ did make up for a bit.

He had hoped the stop at the embassy would be a quick one. He really wanted to go home and sleep if only for a few minutes. Unfortunately the ambassador had some urgent outgoing mail she had not quite finished preparing, and she asked him to join her in her study while she finished.

- Do have a seat while you wait. It will only take a minute.

Ringo collapsed into the chair as casually and manly as he could manage. It was a cushioned chair with ornate wood carvings on the back and armrests shaped as dragons’ heads.

It was too early for the embassy staff to have arrived. The only sound he could hear was the even scratchy sound of pen writing on paper and the crackling fire in the fireplace. His eyes trail over the paintings and the back of books in the bookshelves. The flickering light gave life to the golden letters and decorations and he quietly wondered how Amarië could possibly have time to read all these books as well as managing all the incoming mail.

Too late does he realize he had forgotten to be aware of his surroundings and failed to make a note of the possible escape routes. Rookie mistake, curses! The ambassador had moved over and he was cornered. She leans down, one finger moves under his chin and gently lifting his face to face her. Then she grabs hold of his jaw, making his lips pursed and fish like.

- What is this? A Fjordian Sargent caught of his guard?

Ringo is suddenly 100% focused and a multitude of possible scenarios and self-defence strategies rush through his head, as well as a few dance moves he had practised.
The ambassador tilts her head slightly and studies him.

- My dear Herring, she says in Fjordian.
- You do not look well at all. Are you eating properly?

- Ish shush sheh whu! Insisted Ringo through fishy lips.

Amarië was used to the gibberish of Petty’s so called “dialect”, so she had no trouble deciphering this at all.

- 'Just the flu' indeed. How would it look if you collapsed on my doorstep? No, that just won't do. That won’t do at all. I have just the thing you need.

Smiling secretly, she ducks into a cupboard. Ringo hears the sound of bottles being moved, and she emerges with a slightly devious smile, holding a familiar looking green bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other.

- Tran! she said. Open wide!

Ringo squirms. Cod liver oil imported from Fjordlandia. Oh joy…

A scandal amongst Fjordlandians! Do tell more.

Oh there'll be more, we have a lot of jobs for poor Ringo to try out.
How are YOU getting along, Eldo? Hm?

I'm trying to balance various story ideas I have gnawing away at me with the other stuff I have to do, but there's still Needlehole stuff that I'm working on.

Sounds promising!

Oh I just love it. It shows both sides of you, your shyness and your cheekiness. I love the line 'glorious administration.'

AND BECAUSE I WAS IN AND OUT OF A SEMI COMA AND DID NOT ANSWER YOU ------- HAPPY CHRISTMAS DEAR AMARIE ahemm. that is all.
Eldo my praise of your work is up there.

Amarië was used to the gibberish of Petty

Dont encourage her leelee!

leelee wrote:AND BECAUSE I WAS IN AND OUT OF A SEMI COMA AND DID NOT ANSWER YOU ------- HAPPY CHRISTMAS DEAR AMARIE ahemm. that is all.
Eldo my praise of your work is up there.

Thank you, sweetie! A coma is a very good reason not to reply.

wow. this is great I love the lotr reference and tran omg... the neightmare of childhood!

Thanks. Tran is a never ending nightmare and guilt trip, it gets even worse when you get kids of your own. I had to go and take a few capsules after posting.

Looking forward to see what you come up with.

(And I am so curious about the political intrigues of Needlehole. I am certain there's a creepy poker game each month with Elthir, Amarie, Odo and the illusive Admin, who only joins via a blurred image on a big screen palantir and never in person.)

hehehe... i need to come up with something good.. (i was thinking of including a trønder bart but I am no sure. yet.)

part of me want Ringo to read this.. part of me want Ringo to never read this ;D

Norc wrote:part of me want Ringo to read this.. part of me want Ringo to never read this ;D

You and me both.

hey.. who's turn is it? mine?

btw... someone *cough* should link these fanfics up on the first page. just saying. they're part of the cult now!

I believe it is my turn..?

Yup, it's you.

...