Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
+14
janesmith
Biffo Banks
Mirabella
Tinuviel
Anne
odo banks
Orwell
Ringdrotten
Porgy Bunk-Banks
Wisey Banks
Ally
Eldorion
Pettytyrant101
Mrs Figg
18 posters
Forumshire :: Other Topics :: Off-Topic
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Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
You realise, don't you, that you make very little sense, Petty.
Btw you'll be pleased to know that The Archet Bugle has finally released an accurate, factual account of that coal scuttle business --- or so Odo informs me.
Btw you'll be pleased to know that The Archet Bugle has finally released an accurate, factual account of that coal scuttle business --- or so Odo informs me.
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
A coal scuttle?
![Question](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_question.gif)
![cat](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_cat.png)
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
All the facts you need to know Mrs Figg (yes Odo, facts!) is that the coal scuttle is magical and it belonged to a McTyrant of yore. But it was stolen one snowy winters day by a McBanks who then emigrated with it to Ozhobbistan. (Well I say emigrated but back in those days you only got sent to Ozhobbitland if you were lacking in respectability or couldn't hold your buckie- which is the same thing). The McTyrants nearly died in that winters cold, saved only by Grandads emergency, and not to savoury, buckie stash and we have never forgiven the McBanks clan for it. And there has been a feud ever since.
Odo still has the scuttle today- but it will one day be returned to its rightful Scothobbitland home.
Odo still has the scuttle today- but it will one day be returned to its rightful Scothobbitland home.
![Nod](/users/1813/32/54/71/smiles/1918643206.gif)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
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*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
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Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
there was an old scuttle of yore
that misteriously went out the door
that an ozzhobbit took it
and some said mistook it
for rubbish LOTR merchandise
boom boom.
that misteriously went out the door
that an ozzhobbit took it
and some said mistook it
for rubbish LOTR merchandise
boom boom.
![scratch](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_scratch.png)
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
False allegations against a Banks!
The mere mention of the LotR movie in the same limerick as a Banks!
!
Mrs Figg, while my brother Wisey might approve of just about anything , so long as it's of the channellin' variety, I don't - especially scurrilous stuff like that which you have channelled....
And there was me thinking you might be the first person out of Bree in a long time, who maybe weren't a touch on the unrespectful side. How wrong can one be? How wrong!
As to you, Mr Tyrant, as it happens, I have found another version of the Coal Scuttle Tale. The GENUINELY TRUE ONE (though it may take a few minutes to comp... to copy out for publication by the Bugle.)
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
The mere mention of the LotR movie in the same limerick as a Banks!
![Mad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_mad.gif)
Mrs Figg, while my brother Wisey might approve of just about anything , so long as it's of the channellin' variety, I don't - especially scurrilous stuff like that which you have channelled....
![Mad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_mad.gif)
And there was me thinking you might be the first person out of Bree in a long time, who maybe weren't a touch on the unrespectful side. How wrong can one be? How wrong!
![Sad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_sad.gif)
As to you, Mr Tyrant, as it happens, I have found another version of the Coal Scuttle Tale. The GENUINELY TRUE ONE (though it may take a few minutes to comp... to copy out for publication by the Bugle.)
_________________
Respectability is never Disrespectability
odo banks- Respectable Hobbit of Needlehole
- Posts : 1487
Join date : 2011-02-14
Location : Rushock Bog
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
Oh Mrs Figg!
Oh Mrs Figg!
Grandly do I
doff my lid,
As I sit and puff a cig
while airing
(on a chair)
my wig,
If I ever die
you'll surely get the gig
of channelin'
yes,
it's you I dig!
Channelled from the wellspring of my poetic nature - if I had one, Wisey Banks
Oh Mrs Figg!
Grandly do I
doff my lid,
As I sit and puff a cig
while airing
(on a chair)
my wig,
If I ever die
you'll surely get the gig
of channelin'
yes,
it's you I dig!
Channelled from the wellspring of my poetic nature - if I had one, Wisey Banks
_________________
Dead in One Sense
Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
- Posts : 257
Join date : 2011-02-14
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
Your arrival has certainly stirred up some of the natives, Mrs Figg.
![Laughing](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_lol.gif)
_________________
"Woman is (still) the Nigger of the World"
Anne- Clue-finder
- Posts : 101
Join date : 2011-10-13
Age : 35
cripes
Wisey old chum
what have you done?
porgy will be mad
I'm thinkin a tad
she'll come over an stiff me
might even biff me
she might even stick summat
where the sun aint shiny
so give it a miss
or yer missis will hiss
and i'll be sad
tralalalala.
what have you done?
porgy will be mad
I'm thinkin a tad
she'll come over an stiff me
might even biff me
she might even stick summat
where the sun aint shiny
so give it a miss
or yer missis will hiss
and i'll be sad
tralalalala.
![Basketball](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_basketball.gif)
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
hello Anne
Got to wake em all up, thems sleepin
![Sleep](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/sleep.gif)
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
"Channellin'is a Higher Art,
Stronger than a mere cetificart
of marriage - Sorry Porgy,
Mrs Figg makes you seem tawdry! -
Oh chanellin' beckons
on the deepest levels,
In joyous word
it surely revels,
So if my heart is
gently swooning,
You'll need to adjust, Porg,
for my heartstring's are tuning
to a different note
it can't be helped -
What can I do
when True Love breaks out!"
From "Romantic Words Never Written but Ought Have Been" by Keats (only in a dream).
Wisey Banks
Stronger than a mere cetificart
of marriage - Sorry Porgy,
Mrs Figg makes you seem tawdry! -
Oh chanellin' beckons
on the deepest levels,
In joyous word
it surely revels,
So if my heart is
gently swooning,
You'll need to adjust, Porg,
for my heartstring's are tuning
to a different note
it can't be helped -
What can I do
when True Love breaks out!"
From "Romantic Words Never Written but Ought Have Been" by Keats (only in a dream).
Wisey Banks
_________________
Dead in One Sense
Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
- Posts : 257
Join date : 2011-02-14
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
Hello Mrs. Figgs!!! I am Her Majesty Queen of Forumshire, and on the occasion of a new member already aquainted with the glorious Buckie, I shall throw a Buckie party!!! (So long as NO ONE tells Beren...)
![cheers](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_cheers.png)
_________________
"I think that many confuse 'applicability' with 'allegory'; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author." -JRRT
![Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg. - Page 2 Tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500](https://33.media.tumblr.com/180826ead35802c931636879fcc1ff3d/tumblr_ndsrspapRL1qlqsnio3_500.gif)
Tinuviel- Finest Nose
- Posts : 1937
Join date : 2011-02-15
Age : 29
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
![cheers](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_cheers.png)
![drunken](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/drunken_smilie.png)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
![Rolling Eyes](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
Be careful, Mrs Figg.
From what I've seen go on here, it might be best not to encourage Orwell, as I fear he will make all sorts of unwanted advances now. He always appears to respond in a most troubling way to any hint of affection. You might seek Kafria's advice here. I see he has been hectoring her in a most unbecoming manner for ever so long.
(Ignoring him seems to be her, only too wise, policy nowadays
).
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
![Wink](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_wink.gif)
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
_________________
"Woman is (still) the Nigger of the World"
Anne- Clue-finder
- Posts : 101
Join date : 2011-10-13
Age : 35
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
To put it in plain speaking Mrs Figg, he's like a rat up a drain pipe is Orwell! (except if his attempts with Kafria are anything to go by he's more like a rat who can't quite make it up, if you follow my meaning
)
![cyclops](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_cyclops.gif)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
I'm a great lover out of form, that's all. You take it back, Petty!
![Mad](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_mad.gif)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
When exactly were you in form Orwell?
![Laughing](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_lol.gif)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
![Extremely Crabbit](/users/1813/32/54/71/smiles/2276801876.gif)
_________________
‘The streets of Forumshire must be Dominated!’
Quoted from the Needleholeburg Address of Moderator General, Upholder of Values, Hobbit at the top of Town, Orwell, while glittering like gold.
Orwell- Dark Presence with Gilt Edge
- Posts : 8904
Join date : 2011-05-24
Age : 105
Location : Ozhobbitstan
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
DREAMING OF MRS FIGG
In Autumn dreams
I'm drifting
not far away from
russet leaves
and would you believe
my thoughts are full
of Mrs Figg ---
oh i am a ship
close enough to the shore
to see the middle of Tuscany
with it's flowering olive trees
and villa
with all unsightly
powerlines removed
e'en her hair speaks to me
softly
not like olive twigs
beginning to disrobe
but like that troll purse
in the troll fells
surely alive
and sentient
never smelling
anything but like
crepes
sweet with New Zealand honey
and never saying things
as vulgar as
"Oi!"
on my wicker chair
i'm drifting
my wicker chair is a sea 'tis!
and me
I be a humble mind-ship -
with Porgy placed
way back,
in the bilges, e'en -
while a'channellin'
in Autumn bliss
I go
By an Anonymous Smitten Poet and channelled by
Wisey Banks.
In Autumn dreams
I'm drifting
not far away from
russet leaves
and would you believe
my thoughts are full
of Mrs Figg ---
oh i am a ship
close enough to the shore
to see the middle of Tuscany
with it's flowering olive trees
and villa
with all unsightly
powerlines removed
e'en her hair speaks to me
softly
not like olive twigs
beginning to disrobe
but like that troll purse
in the troll fells
surely alive
and sentient
never smelling
anything but like
crepes
sweet with New Zealand honey
and never saying things
as vulgar as
"Oi!"
on my wicker chair
i'm drifting
my wicker chair is a sea 'tis!
and me
I be a humble mind-ship -
with Porgy placed
way back,
in the bilges, e'en -
while a'channellin'
in Autumn bliss
I go
By an Anonymous Smitten Poet and channelled by
Wisey Banks.
_________________
Dead in One Sense
Wisey Banks- Chief Forumshire Channeller
- Posts : 257
Join date : 2011-02-14
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
![cat](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_cat.png)
![Shocked](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
Re: Hi my name is Figg, Mrs Figg.
I have 3.
(pussies that is...not gentlemen callers
)
![Very Happy](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_biggrin.png)
![Embarassed](https://2img.net/i/fa/i/smiles/icon_redface.gif)
_________________
Pure Publications, The Tower of Lore and the Former Admin's Office are Reasonably Proud to Present-
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
A Green And Pleasant Land
Compiled and annotated by Eldy.
- get your copy here for a limited period- free*
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yjYiz8nuL3LqJ-yP9crpDKu_BH-1LwJU/view
*Pure Publications reserves the right to track your usage of this publication, snoop on your home address, go through your bins and sell personal information on to the highest bidder.
Warning may contain Wholesome Tales[/b]
the crabbit will suffer neither sleight of hand nor half-truths. - Forest
Pettytyrant101- Crabbitmeister
- Posts : 46782
Join date : 2011-02-14
Age : 52
Location : Scotshobbitland
ode to wisey
oh Wisey Wisey
If only I knew,
if your words
are a bit sarky
or if they are true.
and as for the power lines
I think you will find,
my photoshop is rubbish
they are still there behind.
If only I knew,
if your words
are a bit sarky
or if they are true.
and as for the power lines
I think you will find,
my photoshop is rubbish
they are still there behind.
Mrs Figg- Eel Wrangler from Bree
- Posts : 25841
Join date : 2011-10-06
Age : 94
Location : Holding The Door
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» Happy Birthday Mrs Figg!!!
» Happy Brithday Mrs Figg!!!!!!
» Happy Birthday Mrs Figg
» News from the set
» Happy Birthday Mrs Figg!!!
» Happy Brithday Mrs Figg!!!!!!
» Happy Birthday Mrs Figg
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