WHOLESOME TALES

Well she is Welsh isn't she? I told you.

Eldorion wrote:

Pettytyrant101 wrote:As to your pop eyed insinuation Ringdrotten what do you think we Tyrants are? Welsh?

You Brits and your crazy territorial rivalries.

England is biggest. Fact.

Squach wrote:England is biggest. Fact.

One of my best friends is from Kent and she doesn't even like "Northerners" from York, Newcastle, and the like.

I'm looking foward to Kafria coming on so she can tell you exactly what she thinks of Southern Softies from Kent.

"England is biggest. Fact."- Squach

Yes but thats because the English need the extra room for their nation sized self-inflated opinion of England's importance. The Empire's over! Learn to live with it! Plus its where all the morris dancers get stored.

.........What on earth?................
I am at a loss for words. Help me to understand if you will, this thread, it is in place of our journaling on Planet-Tolkien, where we write stories or share feelings or .....or is it in mockery though gentle of the professor's stories, religious and moral beliefs, or.............just what is all this then?
I am too naive and perhaps just plain stupid to get any of it. Is there a lot of innuenedos or what? You probably won't want me on here to visit after this, but although I have worked on the street feeding and clothing the helpless, broken and starving for quite a while now, been lead singer in a metal band, worked with the sick and dying and the hookers on main street(some of the most honest ladies I have ever known) I am still according to my friends an incredibly naive and childlike person. I still get laughs when people remember my journey with my family to another city and I saw a man in a biker outfit with his hog gleaming in the moonlight, talking to a beautiful girl with glossy blonde hair. I smiled at them and said good evening and told the girl I very much liked her hair. My relatives gasped , grabbed me and one whispered' he is one of the Hell's angels that are in town and the girl is a hooker and the hair is a wig.' Still amidst their embarrassed laughter I did not regret being friendly. So with that little bit about me in mind, please forgive me if I don't get the reason for nor understand the content of the stories on this thread. please help. anyone? perhaps I dont belong, perhaps I am not contributing what you want on here.

Don't panic leelee, relax, have a buckie. Take a deep breath. You belong here, you are an individual and a free spirit and thats our title (well subtitle).

Wholesome Tales are a publication by the Archet Bugle, one of Forumshires newspapers.
All the papers on here are in some form humourous, satirical, social comment/critique, or often just for silly fun. There ocntents reflect the wonderful flights of fancy that some 'personalities' on the forum take. And some of them may be quite heavily laden with that very British thing, being ironic, which can be missed if you are not looking for it.
As to what you contribute? No-one here I know would even think to ask the question, you contribute by being here and sharing your thoughts. Your post gave me a little insight into your world and therefore you, thats sharing, what more could a community ask of a member?

What Petty said - you belong here as much as anyone And don't mind the contents of these so-called wholesome tales, they're mostly just for fun (I still don't quite understand the one about the girl on the bridge, however, but that's Odo for you - he can always surprise you!)

Don't worry, leelee; we have all sorts here. While a lot of us have a rather cynical and ironic sense of humor, that is by no means true of everyone here. You're not required to like the wholesome tales if they're not your thing and no one will hold it against you, though I personally find most of them pretty hilarious. That's just me, though.

Also, don't worry about feeling naive or innocent. You've always been very kind to us and I think that those are both related. We certainly wouldn't want you to leave over a story.

Oh, from the bottom of my Elvish heart thankyou. I honestly felt like I was in the wrong place. As long as you understand that I weep profusely over the plight of children, the elderly and broken and still read little children's stories as well as write them, and that I have never understood a joke first time around and grieved that I did second time around, then I am okay. Because having read as much as I have been able to between caring for the little one and doing my free lance and cooking and baking for the street, I have seen such beauty in each of you. I should like very much to stay, or at the very least to come by and sit with you and just listen and learn for the most part if I may. תודה, יברך אותך

I'm glad you're feeling better about things, leelee. You're most certainly not stupid and I'm glad you still want to come by as I enjoy your contributions to the forum!

Eldorion: תודה אדוני סוג.

You're very welcome!

NB I don't actually know Hebrew so I've been using Google Translate. I hope that it's accurate!

Glad you're feeling better, leelee - in time you'll learn to know us all a bit better and spot the jokes easier

Personally, I find Odo's oddities odd, and that's where I leave it. He is quite mad, and I of all people should know that! (Same as his family, Mirabella, Biffo, and Wisey, and then there's janesmith, a very close associate!)

Also, there is no expectation here that you must like anything and everything, or join in any goings on except the ones you would like to, though you are very welcome to do one or both.

If anyone was obliged to be anything but themselves, or someone else in fact, then our Freedom would surely be adversely affected. Indeed, there is definite (unsaid) permission here for folk to be anyone you want to be, real or imagined. That's how things go in Forumshire. Imagination is welcome! Free Spirits, that sums us up (some more than others perhaps).

WARNING: Both nonsense and seriousness innundate this land, and often they commingle quite readily. (Indeed, when one reads The Hobbit (with eyes that see) one knows this is just how Tolkien approached things himself. He was a very serious writer, but very funny as well. In fact, he is not always recognized for how funny he was.

Btw if your thing is helping the sick, the weak, meek, the mild, the young, the downfallen, the downtrodden, etcetera, then I can only say, "That's very nice of you," and, of course, you must continue to do so, but only if that's what you feel is right and what you want to do; though, of course, you must make your own judgments and I'm not trying to preach anything to you, for I respect everyone's Free Will. On the issue of helping others, perhaps you could start up a "How Can One Help Others" or similar thread. No one here, I feel, would oppose it.

Wow! I must sit and rest now. Too much thought does tire one, and may make one late for dinner if one's not careful.

Well on the subject of helping others I find when I am at work and up to the elbows in a strange old persons excrement (or an old persons strange excrement-you get both options) that I find it hard enough to think of reasons of why I'm doing it, and I'm getting paid. Anyone who does it for nothing is either a much better person than I am or my preferred option, off their rocker (in which case I'll be waiting for them when they are admitted with a scrubbing brush a hose and a pack of carbolic soap! Think on that folks- the future is me!!)

i have a sore cheek from smiling so hard , what a bunch you are.
It is not that it is my thing, I never have understood that word. It is my heart's desire. Even as a tiny child I found myself getting into trouble from giving my things away to those who needed them, or my money or , I could not then nor now bear seeing anyone suffer, and that too has caused me trouble. I learned to use humour to take away some of the pain and of course many saw me as just being a very funny person. In one college course a particular girl laughed hysterically if I opened my mouth. We got into trouble like two first graders and separated by the professor. I only did it because I could sense great pain in her. Well the inevitable occurred, she asked me to sit for her two little girls so she could go pubbing. I did and the children shared very sad things with me. I was weeping when mummy came home, higher than a kite and she was horrified that I was not laughing at all her jokes. She never viewed me the same again. As for a thread you dear mortal, I think it would be like the sound of one hand clapping. One either does it or does not.
And, Petty, for all your blustering and presenting yourself as a rather wild child, I think you are sweet and dear, you know, deep down inside where it matters, eh?
Odo, that face that dear strange face and that face comment. priceless.

"Petty, for all your blustering and presenting yourself as a rather wild child, I think you are sweet and dear, you know, deep down inside where it matters"- leelee


But unfortunatly the only thing I keep down deep inside is my emergency buckie ration, for exceptional times and severe emergencies only, like when I run out, or I'm thirsty, or awake.

Sorry, Petty, but she saw right through you.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:"Petty, for all your blustering and presenting yourself as a rather wild child, I think you are sweet and dear, you know, deep down inside where it matters"- leelee


But unfortunatly the only thing I keep down deep inside is my emergency buckie ration, for exceptional times and severe emergencies only, like when I run out, or I'm thirsty, or awake.

yes sure you do dear Petty. And you keep your heart encrusted in beer and skittles and a little belly button lint, in case we Elves should see your crystal clear beauty and make you a tad touchy.

Who told you about the lint? Elves!!

Forget about the lint...I'm still trying to working out how your heart could be encrusted in beer and skittles...how would that even work?

Saradoc wrote:Forget about the lint...I'm still trying to working out how your heart could be encrusted in beer and skittles...how would that even work?

Cheeks hurting. It is very simple Saradoc, not enough water. The other liquids are polluting the bloodstream and the heart gets a wee bit scummy an hard. Now then if he begins to drink pure water, the water of truth in abundance that all washes away and voila! crystal dear heart.
I have been waiting to meet you , My little one went hysterical with joy when she saw Gimli as a lego. Building anything with her legos is one of her favorite past times. And you, you are so adorable, yes you are. (we are tickling you on your wee darling beard. We should like to bring you home and have you be our especial pet. (and if that didn't make you angry enough, how about a kiss on your precious plastic head?) And by the way, I very much enjoy you intelligent and interesting posts. But you do not make enough of them. so please..................