WHOLESOME TALES

Hmm, reading the other threads and thinking about it some more, perhaps my earlier idea of confining Petty to the Lockholes until he gets past this phase (for the sake of social stability, of course) was not entirely without merit...

This is not a phase Eldo! This is clarity of thought and mind, for the first time in my life.

I think someone stole Petty and replaced him!!!!

The whole idea of this thread is about bringing folk back to Eru and sobriety. Hasn't this always been made clear in (almost) every tale? Welcome Mr Tyrant. The Demon Drink has been banished, and that can only be good. (Of course, a few wines now and then are okay. But only in good measure. And being drunk no more than once a week is acceptable. Mind, a few drinks at meal are alright too. But over indulgence, that's where the problem lies. Yes, indeed. ) Bless Eru, Mr Tyrant - Saved!

AAh Odo old chap, dearest friend and accquantince. I was rather hoping I would run into you.
Listen I think it best, as two hobbits of Eru, if we put this whole coal scuttle thing behind us. Our families have been feuding over that old thing for long enough would you not agree? Its quite silly.
I therefore have decided that you can have it, and that any discrepencies over its past be forgotten and swept under the carpet where they belong.
I've become a staunch admire of you Odo since my sobriety, I can't believe I used to think you were just a sanctimonous old moaning git with a chip on his shoulder and an unhealthy interest in the sixth formers at Our Lady, when in fact you were right all along (especially about the sixth formers, they are an expression of the grace and purity of Eru). Do forgive me old chap.

I would also like to announce that I have purchased some sensible thick undergarments and a pair of trousers. That smelly old kilt is a thing of the past.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:That smelly old kilt is a thing of the past.

There has to be more than just a lack of buckie going on here. Otherwise, that would mean only drunks would wear something as silly as a kilt. Wait....

Lesson learned. Never spike Buckie again! Quick, Mr Tyrant, please have a sip of this ginger ale! It will help with the new sharpness of mind-ache! {{{{Don't worry, it's actually Buckie! But I put a spell on it so it tastes like ginger ale! sorry everyone! I forgot my shampoo had sobering properties! (It's how I always seem sober when Beren's about!)}}}}}}}}}}}}} You should be back to normal in no time

Pettytyrant101 wrote:AAh Odo old chap, dearest friend and accquantince. I was rather hoping I would run into you.
Listen I think it best, as two hobbits of Eru, if we put this whole coal scuttle thing behind us.

Well, that's awfully nice of you, ol'chap....

Um... What did you say?

Let me just read that again....

I burnt down my barrrel?! My jacuzzi! There was a bit of mold on that called Fred I'd been cultivating for years.
I'm almost afraid to find out whtat else I said...........what the !'@*! I take back everything I said about the coal scuttle Odo! I was ill, that doesn't count and is in no way legally bidding. That bloody scuttle is mine you mad Banks you!

I knew it couldn't last! As to the Coal Scuttle --- sorry, Mr Tyrant, it's ALL on the public record now. ((Not that it was ever yours to give, mind ))

Good to see your back Petty! I was really worried, especially since it was my fault! As an apology, I dub thee Keeper Petty Tyrant, watcher and clerk of the Queens Buckie!

Risky appointment, I would have thought, Your Majesty --- but you know best, I'm sure!

Damn right I do! I value Buckie very much! And I run a spoils system around here, so I can change my cabinet whenever I Like!

Why Thankyou your Maj. I promise I shall be diligent in my duties and not let your buckie out of my sight. Don't you worry, it'll be safe as houses with me (well safe as a house on Numenor anyway).

Don't know about this, Your Majesty but I guess you know best...

Petty knows the consequences if he drinks all the buckie or steals it or does other obscene things with it. And if he can't remember, I'm sure Huan will gladly chase him up a tree again

What? I mean of course I do, no need for that bloody great stinking mutt to come sniffing about, I mean your lovely family dog your Maj. There's nothing to see here.

Poor Petty, at the beck and call of a she-Elf. Doesn't seem very Scotshobbit to me, but what do I know...?

He has only made the usual McTyrant choice between his honour and his buckie, Eldo.

I suppose self-respect doesn't seem so important when you're wasted. Or perhaps the McTyrant version of self-respect is being wasted.

EXCUSE ME!!!! Next time you go about calling your QUEEN meerely a she-elf like she's just some common woman, you might want to encrypt it! And it's not like I'm bossing him around, I'm giving him an important job that has consequences!
WOMAN'S RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!

"at the beck and call of a she-Elf. Doesn't seem very Scotshobbit to me"- Eldo

You Eldo have clearly not had much dealings with Scots wimmin! (The general attitude of Pretty is not an exception its the norm! -Queen Tin is a positive delight by comparison)

"He has only made the usual McTyrant choice between his honour and his buckie"- Odo

As the old McTyrant saying goes, 'The price of honour in an empty buckie barrel is the value of the barrel'. Ponder that until enlightment dawns Banks!

"I'm giving him an important job that has consequences!"- Her Majesty Queen Tin

Absolutely true! So far I've faced the consequences from falling over (a lot, it's like watching Elijah's acting as Frodo), talking in tongues, and trying to drink upsdie down (just becasue youve fallen over doesn't mean you should stop trying to drink) Yesh, thish job ish full of wonderous consequences .....was that a dog barking?

Hello Mr. Tryant. Tinuviel has asked me to keep an eye on you, (though I think I'll wait until you climb down the tree first ) She feels that you are NOT taking your job seriously enough guarding the rasberry juice!!!!!! She said, and I quote, "You won't leave any for me to celebrate with!" So, (to my great displeasure, ) I'm on babysitting duty with my dog. Whoo