Things that are making you crabbit!

High 20's Mrs Figg!- and its what youre aclimatised too- I'm aclimitised to cold and wet through to bloody freezing and brass monkeys not high 20's. Like a frog on a hotplate here.

Mrs Figg wrote:

Dave maybe you could try a Hoover for the weasels, they would shoot straight up the pipe thingy.

I think if I did that I would just throw the whole thing away rather than try to open it and try to clean it. They're amazing creatures, almost as long as the cat, leaping 5 ft in the air, twisting and snarling like a wingless dragon in flight, and emitting a powerful stench that will make your eyes water, not as strong as a skunk but bad enough. Yeah, I'd definitely buy a new vacuum cleaner.

Scotland will become the first place in the UK to introduce minimum drink pricing, after MSPs passed new laws.
The SNP government will set the price of alcohol at 50p per unit, to tackle Scotland's historic alcohol abuse problems.- BBC

What historic alcohol abuse?- thats just tradition! And you cant abuse buckie- it abuses you!!

50p per unit could be a good deal if the units are big enough......

One unit of alcohol is defined as 10 millilitres in the United Kingdom- Wiki

Thats just the dregs at he bottom of the buckie barrel!

Well the solution is simple then. Scotland should just change their definition. Maybe to the pint....

Now there's an idea!

Ozzhobbits in my posts, thats annoying.

and little flies the size of dots like this . flying up my nose and making me sneeze thats also annoying.

In fairness Mrs Figg it probably made the tiny fly quite crabbit too.

it was the smallest fly I ever saw, but it did indeed look quite put out.


Oh Mrs Figg - how droll -- how very droll... I must admit, I'm becoming quite accustomed to your company. And until Eldo or someone (perhaps a Moderator with some 'skill'- even if minor ) can get me out of your internal workings, we may as well make the best of things. Now - where's your spare room, pray tell? And what time do you serve breakfast to honoured guests?



Oh, I must have gone too far, this appears to be a memory. Oooooooorweeeeeell!

Oh deary deary deary me,
Orwell's stuck in Figg's Internal Workings -
Who knows how much danger he's in -
Is her Jealous Husband lurking?

I heard he is a fiery Man -
she married a Man I heard,
Mrs Figg is of course not your
average hobbit bird -

Breakfast seved come mid-morn
by a murderous Tuscan's wife,
may seem all beer and skittles (to us),
but don't Tuscan hubbies carry knives?

Oh who will rescue Noble Orwell,
Our Moderator of Grace and Wiles?
(Orwell told me to say that -
Hee hee - he does have a certain style! )

Will Petty come and save him,
Kilt swirling in the breeze?
Come flying through the Forumsphere Gap -
Perhaps on a high trapeze?

Will Amarie exert herself,
instead of roundly chomping chocolates
(I assume she's chomping chocolates,
Tho it's hard to find a rhyme for chocolates)

Or will our Lordly Admin come
riding in his shiny gold'n'silver chariot?
(He's been missin' awhile, come to think,
He's probable stayin' at the New York Marriott... )

Or will Orwell have to find a way
to make his brave escape? -
"Maybe I will, and maybe I won't -
Mrs Figg kindly pass the cake."

"The Ordeal of Orwell - after a fashion"- John Keats (theoretically)

Wisey Banks

You mean to tell me you are STUCK in my innards? I wondered what that rumbling grumbling was in my nether regions, I thought it was another earthquake. mamma mia!
But now you are here I have a few jobs around the place you can do. These curtains need beating and my olives need squeezing, and my figs need a good pummelling, to make jam dont you know.


Now Mrs Figg, let's not be hasty --- I'm sure if we really put our minds to it, we can find a way for me to get out of your Internal Workings....

Orwell! Where are you? Get over here you freaky power abusing gender changing Boobarella you! Um... I mean; over here dear!

Now really, how is this fair? Eldo and Petty get nifty heroic references and while I, who bravely and boldly offered to help and most likely is the only one who would, stuff my face with chocolates (not that I haven't eaten chocolates today, but that's beside the point). Nobody loves poor Amarië.

Wait, what's that squeaky sound? AHA! Cover me! I'm going in!

I can't help you in the hole, Amarië. But I'm standing by with the chariot in case you need a quick get-away.

Awww.... my hero!

Amarië? Aaaaa-maaaa-riiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ëëëëëëëëëëëëë!

Are you still down that moderator hole? Is everything OK?

Look I'd love to help you more, but the horses are getting hungry, you know.

So I think we'll be heading back to the barn now.

(Besides, my cat's probably been up all night wondering where I've been. )

Oh... well I wouldn't want to encourage animal cruelty of course. Thanks for sticking around.

Sorry I can't help Amarie- but its the kilt you see no good for helping distressed ladies down a hole because either climbing down to help or climbing back up out of it will result in you seeing more than you'd wish!

What a terrible terrible business.... Forumshire will never be the same.... ... ... ... not that it ever was, mind....

Aaaaa-maaaa-riiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ëëëëëëëëëëëëë!

Four syllables... very good! but judging by the one r in this Romanization I'm guessing you didn't roll it. If not: tsk.

Hee hee hee
i sez with glee,
Elthir is a clever bee -
don't say much,
but now'n'then,
she pops in
with a Touch of Zen ---
or is 'she' 'he'?
oh dear me -
and was it Zen? -
or Philology?

"When the Philologist Met the Lore Mastermistress - who really knows?" John Yeats (in Bermuda - not that other poet you're thinking of)

Wisey Banks

Elthir wrote:

Aaaaa-maaaa-riiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ëëëëëëëëëëëëë!

Four syllables... very good! but judging by the one r in this Romanization I'm guessing you didn't roll it. If not: tsk.

I was just stressing the vowels because they echo so much better down moderator holes than the consonants do

David H wrote: I was just stressing the vowels because they echo so much better down moderator holes than the consonants do

That may be, but we can't simply stress things willy-nilly or forget sounds because of echoes or lack of echoes (or cloudy skies or whathaveyou).

It won't do! It doesn't pass in Lammoth and it won't do here good Sir.


Oh and Wisey

Youve been Lore-owned David! (And Elthir is quite right, 'r''s should be rollled! It makes songs when drunken singing sound much better )

Verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry well. Have it yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr way.

"Aaaaa-maaaa-rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ëëëëëëëëëëëëë!"

Therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, is that betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?


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