flash fiction

ok seriously. i cant write smut. flash not slash fiction thank you.

you pigs.

Why not sflash fiction?

you write it then.. some good old smut.

hahahhahaa  lovely!

Pettytyrant101 wrote:"No matter how I positioned them the nipple tassels were still itchy and irritating."

My gosh, Petty, have you returned? I must say, you really go the extra mile as a care worker.

Noooooo

So I was down visiting a friend on Capital Hill in Washington DC, and he said I need to check out the up and coming, totally happening neighborhood of H street just a short walk from his house. This is an area that during the day is slouched with homeless people as newspapers blow down the street, but at night becomes deluged with the youth crowd. They just sort of pop out of nowhere and take over.

We walk into one place, the name of which I can't recall, and find they are having a battle between two troupes of burlesque performers: Washington versus New York City. My friend was experienced enough to get us there early so we were standing right in front of the stage, but by the time the show was about to begin we were hitting the bottom of our drinks. A large crowd had formed behind us, but I bravely pushed my way to the bar. By the time I had secured a drink in each hand and was heading back, the density had increased so much I got stuck halfway. Realizing that legs are less dense than bodies, I gamely worked my way to the ground and slithered through the crowd. People thought the person creeping through their legs must literally be a creep, and were rather angry, but my friends were impressed.

As I mentioned, this was a competition between rival burlesque troupes, and the natural song was Dueling Banjos. It so happens that if you swing your upper body just right and have the suspension advantage of a good pair of headlights, you can make a nipple tassel spin a complete circle. When performed with a proper aristocratic cock to the eyebrows the effect on first viewing makes it awfully hard not to spit your drink. So the first banjo plays and the Washington troupe whirligigs their tassels in time to it. Then the second banjo responds and the NYC group fires back. When both banjos jump in with 4 girls spinning their tassels like windmills in a windstorm, the effect is nearly indescribable. it was a surreal night.

True story.

{{{{ I really need to visit New York some day, and not just because I suspect it doesn't really exist}}}}

{{{ that was Washington DC, not New York }}}

{{{ sorry Halfy- so used to your tales of NY my mind must have skipped the Washington reference- though thats ok as I don't believe in it either.}}}

I do want to make it clear that we had no idea there would be a burlesque show when we walked in, much less a competition. (But we didn't walk out, either.)

wow. just wow.


((gotta practise))

the Banjo?

I have a mental image of a little furry creature snuffling round peoples legs with drinks on a silver tray crying I'm late! i'm late! the Queen will be annoyed!

I had actually stolen the idea from a story Dan Rather told about Barbara Walters.  There's always competition among reporters to be at the front of the pack when the president walks by so they can call out their questions.  He was at the front of the scrum once waiting for the event to happen, when he and others felt some squirming down by their knees, and Barbara Walters popped up right beside him, straightened her hair and was ready to go. That impressed me.  So when I saw the pack of people jammed together between me and my friends, with their intended drinks in my hands, I thought now was finally the time for me to try out my Barbara Walters. It worked.