flash fiction

by Norc Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:02 pm

i thought i'd start a thread for flash fiction. flash-fiction is short stories, 300-1000 words. it's a very good way to get started on writing or just if you wanted to write something Smile

you could start with a words you think is funny or a sentence or a theme. anything. and then just write Smile

by halfwise Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:18 pm

there's a legend that Ernest Hemingway was challenged to write the shortest story ever told, and he won the bet by doing it in six words. There is no substantiation for this, which is why it's a legend, but the story is:

"For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn."

by Pettytyrant101 Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:28 pm

Nice, very poignant.

by Norc Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:32 pm

very sad.

by Norc Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:24 pm

here's my contribution. Don't think too much of it, i just wrote something, very little editing. could probably flow better, but it is a long time since i last wrote something (in english) and i couldn't give a damn. i just wanted to write something.

((Removed as requested. -Amarië))

by **Amarië** Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:32 pm

halfwise wrote:there's a legend that Ernest Hemingway was challenged to write the shortest story ever told, and he won the bet by doing it in six words. There is no substantiation for this, which is why it's a legend, but the story is:

"For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn."

Oh I had forgotten about that one, simply mind blowing how your thoughts fly to SO many scenarios at once.

by **Amarië** Sun Nov 23, 2014 8:43 pm

Also, I am totally trying NOT to notice the actual topic of this thread since I feel guilty and stressed about other things I should write, especially RL stuff I promised to do.

by Norc Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:06 pm

by halfwise Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:48 pm

Real Life. There's a story in there...

by Tinuviel Mon Nov 24, 2014 2:58 am

Yeah I've been trying to write more, especially since it's NaNo WriMo which is National Novel Writing Month in November. This is a really good idea! Not too much, easy to fit in between other work, I'm gonna do it!

by Eldorion Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:44 am

Norc wrote:RL?

by Ringdrotten Mon Nov 24, 2014 5:13 am

Eldorion wrote:
Norc wrote:RL?

There is no RL, only AFK

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:36 am

I enjoyed that Norc. Nod

Simple and effective.
I have commented before that I'm amazed at how well you Fjordians construct sentences in written English, must be a testament to your education system.
But in particular a few lines stuck out for me as being particularly well put together-

'Warm, coloured lights streamed out and painted the snow in biblical themes.'

'The damp air turning to frost-smoke as soon as they passed her lips.'

'It ought to have made a sound, she thought.'

(ok that last one though its constructed well I liked more for its placement and its timing in the surrounding sentences. Its a very effective sentence, and that's often the key to quality writing I think).

Great descriptive stuff Norc Thumbs Up

(although if I was to make a complaint, and being a crabbit old bastard, I am going to complain obviously. I could sum up my complaint in one word- 'paragraphs'! Mad

)

by Norc Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:29 am

thank you Petty and thank you for giving me constructive feedback, much appreciated ^^

i'll fix the paragraphs asap Wink

also there are some other things i see could have been changed (when it comes to rhythmic and pace to make it flow better) but as it is flash fiction, one shouldn't do too much tinkering on it, just get on with it Very Happy

no looking back ^^

i actually have one more i wrote, but i'd have to translate it first, but it's shorter.. (but i think it might flow better in nynorsk.... although then i'd have to start googling words Mad

)

by Norc Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:53 am

so here's my second flash fiction.. i don't know if i am happy with the translation yet.. maybe Shrugging

(it was done in 20 minutes..) also i didn't bother looking up when to use "lay" "lies" -shit... forgive me.

((Removed as requested. -Amarië))

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Nov 24, 2014 1:27 pm

Interesting piece, almost more a poem than prose. And kind of stream of consciousness stuff.

'Tiny pupils that watches the world, sees everything.'

You don't the plurals (I know technically it might seem you should as they are two eyes, but English is weird like that), should be 'Tiny pupils that watch the world, see everything.'

by halfwise Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:01 pm

Pettytyrant101 wrote:I enjoyed that Norc. Simple and effective.
I have commented before that I'm amazed at how well you Fjordians construct sentences in written English, must be a testament to your education system.
But in particular a few lines stuck out for me as being particularly well put together-

'Warm, coloured lights streamed out and painted the snow in biblical themes.'

'The damp air turning to frost-smoke as soon as they passed her lips.'

'It ought to have made a sound, she thought.'

(ok that last one though its constructed well I liked more for its placement and its timing in the surrounding sentences. Its a very effective sentence, and that's often the key to quality writing I think).

Great descriptive stuff Norc (although if I was to make a complaint, and being a crabbit old bastard, I am going to complain obviously. I could sum up my complaint in one word- 'paragraphs'! )

I have to admit, when I first saw it there was this dense mass of wordage and I decided to leave it for later. The paragraphs make a huge difference. Thumbs Up

by halfwise Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:11 pm

Now that I've actually read the damn thing, I have to say I really like the air of mystery that hangs about it. You know the narrator is feeling something of deep significance, but you can't suss out what is behind it...she's delaying the moment, letting the environment wash over her instead. The reader is left hanging; the emotions unresolved.

Another sign of good writing is knowing when and how to mess with formal english sentence structure. The single sentence 'Holy.' The missing verb in "The village only a sharp, black silhouette against a dark, blue sky" is carried through by context of surrounding sentences. Clearly they cram a lot of english poetry down your throats up north, or you wouldn't have felt free to gently fuck with the language this way.

by halfwise Mon Nov 24, 2014 3:14 pm

Norc wrote:so here's my second flash fiction.. i don't know if i am happy with the translation yet.. maybe (it was done in 20 minutes..) also i didn't bother looking up when to use "lay" "lies" -shit... forgive me.

---

also, honestly, it probably flows a lot better and is probably also a lot more poetical if it was in nynorsk.....

Based on your first work (and others) I have every confidence that if you take another 20 minutes you could make it flow as well as the original.

by **Amarië** Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:16 pm

I flash read (heh) the black dog post. I love you

'Tiny pupils that watch the world, see everything.'

I might have tried 'Tiny pupils watching the world, all seeing.' Or is it 'all-seeing'?
But I think Halfy is right, a second look at it and you'll make it flow just right.

I think I need a prompt/topic if I am to write something. That, and time. Rolling Eyes

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:45 pm

Another sign of good writing is knowing when and how to mess with formal english sentence structure.- Halfy

Another weird thing about English is that you can break most of the rules, so long as its a consistent rule breaking throughout, then its style.
Norcs piece struck me as constructing sentences for effect, and it was indeed effective for me.
It seems our Norc has style!

I think I need a prompt/topic if I am to write something- Amarie

Get off your Ambassadorial arse and do some bloody writing before I come round with an empty buckie barrel and clobber you one round the napper with it (is that the sort of prompting you meant? Very Happy

)

by azriel Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:18 pm

Norc wrote:here's my contribution. Don't think too much of it, i just wrote something, very little editing. could probably flow better, but it is a long time since i last wrote something (in english) and i couldn't give a damn. i just wanted to write something.

((Text removed by request. -Amarië))

I really like this one. It has a quiet, hypnotic ghostly feel that stays with you.

by **Amarië** Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:33 pm

((As if you'd ever waste a barrel in such a way... But I'll see what I can do with that. Wink

))

He's poor, they say. He doesn't have a proper house, they say. He drinks too much and is notorious unreliable, they say.

He thinks they are all bonkers.

He had his barrel which still smelled slightly like beer. It was a whole lot better than the herring barrel he had grown up in back home, but you would never hear him utter a bad word about it. He had his job, delivering newspapers at his own pace. What better way to work than to roll a trolley along and mutter to yourself. It did not pay much, according to others. But he did not need much. He did not have room for guests, so there was no need to tidy or worry about the state of things. He had made friends with the cats roaming about, they kept his his barrel free from rodents. And unreliable? He does exactly what people expect him to do.

Bonkers they are, the lot of them. Saying things that does not make sense. Can't trust people like that, can you? Ock tha noo, he mumbles as he watches them. Ock tha noo.

by halfwise Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:37 pm

He had his barrel which still smelled slightly like beer. It was a whole lot better than the herring barrel he had grown up in back home, but you would never hear him utter a bad word about it.

A Norwegian/Petty hybrid?

by Pettytyrant101 Mon Nov 24, 2014 9:49 pm

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