lingonberry pickers

Part 1 wrote:Lieutenant Ringo Herring was rushing down Karl Johans Gate. He was late, and there was no such thing as suitably late in the Fjordlandian military. Furthermore it wasn't every day you got called in to the Ministry.

Lieutenant Ringo Herring, God, it had been good to get rid of those seargent stripes,  under direct comission from the Ministry of Fishing, Agriculture and Troll Affairs as a troll hunter.

His uniform was immaculate, of course, no amount of oversleeping could blunt three years of military experience, but he had had no time to fix his hair. Thank God for those military haircuts.

He was thanking God a lot today, he noticed. Thanking God, and he wasn't even sure he believed in him. His religious upbringing made this hard to admit, but you learned to question things when you were between three bloodthirsty trolls and a hard place. Sometimes even existence itself.

He rushed up the stairs of the department building and into the reception, hurriedly getting directions from the young girl behind the desk. The thought that there was something very pleasing about the way she blushed when he shot her his most winning smile floated at the edge of his perception, but there was no time to process it. He was late. He ran on.

He rushed down seemingly endless corridors before finally stepping up to a small cosy office surprisingly close to the Ministerial Office itself. This was not a small matter then. He was going into a meeting with someone very close to the Minister. Probably someone from a sheltered background in one of the better parts of Oslo, who wouldn't have much sympathy for the circumstances of the common soldier. Ringo steeled himself.

Stepping into the room he came on two people who were very pointedly ignoring eachother. One was a very cute short young girl with a northern look about her. Her curls framing a face dominated by two big brown eyes. Eyes that reminded Ringo of a silent northern lake on a summer night. Definitely eyes you could drown in, he added to himself. The familiar face behind the ornate wooden desk struck Ringo. Unusually for a public servant his shaggy dark hair was a bit longer than necessary, and his face covered by a slight hint of a red tinted beard. His eyes though kept flickering nervously from the window to the door. Blue eyes. Very blue eyes. Very sharp blue eys.

"Ah, Lt. Herring. We've been expecting you for some time," the man behind the desk said looking pointedly at his watch. It had only been 3 minutes, but in the military such tardiness was seen as a mortal sin. Ringo tried to keep himself from blushing.

Suddenly the mans face broke into a broad smile. A very familiar broad smile.

"Oh, never mind that," he laughed. "We don't hold to military precision around here."

There came an exasperated sound from the girl.

The man collected himself quickly, quickly hiding a short worried look that had crept across his face.

"Good to see you, Ringo." He said, coming around the desk to shake Ringos hand heartily. "I would have told you it was me, but you know how the department likes these things. Top secret and all that."  

It was the last face Ringo had expected to see. Yes, he did work at the Ministry, but Ringo had never known him to handle something as uncushy as troll hunting. It was all international conferences, delegations and representations with him. Ringo hadn't seen him in close to five years, and he was ashamed to admit he hadn't minded.  

"You two know each other?" The girl said, suddenly suspicious.

"Yes.. we're cousins or something aren't we Ringo?"

"Second cousins," Ringo hastened to add.

"Yes, very close. Very close." Blue said in a sardonic tone.

"And ah, I don't think you've had the pleasure.." He went on. "This is Agent Nora Herring of.. let's say.. the Inland Revenue."

"I can introduce myself," the girl said rolling her eyes.

"Hi, I'm Nora," she said shooting Ringo a warm smile.  

"Ringo," he said returning her smile. "Herring? Which branch of the family are you from?"

"The northern one," she said rolling her eyes again.

"Oh, maybe you know my great aunt Morlinda.."

"Sorry to interupt," Blue, Bottèl, what a strange name, these Oslo people and their french affections, said with a slight smile "But.. matters of state and all that. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to compare family history later."

"Well, if you would have fucking told me what it was about I would have known it was important." Nora said turning, all warmth suddenly leaving her face. "You can never say something straight out, can you."

"I'm sorry," Ringo said. "But does the two of you know eachother?"

Suddenly they were both looking at him. It felt a silly question, but he was already flying blind as far as this meeting was concerned. And this was one uncertainty he did not need.

"We have met," Nora said narrowing her eyes.

"Um.. yes. Just so." Bluebottle said hurridly stepping back behind his deks and staring pointedly out the window. "But to the matter at hand."    

"Now, does either of you know what this is?" He said dramatically, putting a bowl filled with berries on the desk in front of them.

"Lingonberries?" Ringo suggested.

"Actually, they're cranberries. I couldn't get lingonberries for some reason." Blue said slightly embarrased. "But let's pretend they're lingonberries for the purposes of this conversation."

"You felt the need for a prop?!" Nora gaped. "And you couldn't even get the right one?!"

"Err.. Yes.. Let's move on."  

Ringo could feel the tension in the air.

"Cranberries anyone?" Blue said, after a couple of moments of akward silence, extending the bowl, looking a little disappointed his big presentation hadn't gotten a better reception.

"Erm.. anyway.." Blue said throwing a handfull of cranberries into his mouth. Grimacing at the sour taste. "What's special about lingonberries and this time of year?"

"Lingonberry picking season," they both said at once. What was this? First grade? Everyone in Fjordlandia knew about lingonberry picking season.

"Owe me a soda," Nora said grinning widely at him.  

Ringo couldn't help smiling back before hurriedly continuing.

""Lingonberry picking season extends from the end of August to the end of October. Particularily in the North of Fjordlandia large parts of the population take time off work and school to aid in picking the berries, which are both a treasured delicacy and a premier export of the region. The berries are highly priced as an ingredient in troll cream, a norwegian delicacy, known as such because it is loved by the fjordlandian troll population. Interspecies conflict over the berries has become a common theme over the northern summers, and the fjordlandian army annualy sends specially trained troops to protect and monitor the picking season." "

Ringo quoted freely from Fjordlandian berries: A treasure and an export, he had memorized the passage before going up north for the first time to aid in the picking season protection effort.

"So.. have i got this right. We're going up north to protect fucking lingonberry pickers?!" Nora asked exhasperatedly.

"Officially.. yes."

"Gah." Nora said shaking her head.

"Officially?" Ringo enquiered.

"Austensibly you are joining the protection group. In reality we're sending you to discover just what's behind this upsurge in troll activity." Blue said efficiously. "There is worry in the highest levels of the department that the lingonberry picking season itself might be under threat. And that would mean.."

"No troll cream.." Nora gaped. For the first time she looked interested. Or perhaps scared was closer to the truth.

"Now this is important, we can give you no official comission above and beyond being part of the protection group. With half the governement not even believing in trolls, it's been hard enough to get the two of you released from other duties as it is."

"So, what's the plan?" Ringo asked.

"That's the plan," Blue smiled.

"Oh."

So, no mission plan, no mission preperations, a diffuse mission goal, no real comission or authority.. they really shouldn't let civil servants handle stuff like this. It would never have passed in the military.

"It's a good one isn't it." Blues smile widened. Nora gave another exasperated sigh.

"Well, I'm glad you think so." A womans voice said from the door. "Because you're going with them."

Ringo turned around to see none other than the Minister herself standing in the door. She was very young to be a Minister, Ringo thought before realizing she was older than him. But she struck him as a pleasant, nice woman with an exceptional beauty about her. Why would someone like that get mixed up in politics. 

"What, but.. that's far up north.. what about the weather.. my cosy office... my violin lessons..." Blue seemed to be speaking almost to himself, his mouth hanging open.

"Oh, I'm sure Lt. Herring can give you some lessons." Amarië laughed. "Also it will be good to have someone here at the Ministry that have experienced troll hunting first hand."

"But.."

"The decision has been made," She smiled. "You leave tommorow."

Amarië wrote:These characters are too fun to not play with.

More! More!

Part 2 wrote:"Well, that's about it then." Blue said, still looking rather stunned as Amarië left the room having wished them all, Ringo in particular, Ringo felt, good luck.

"But I thought I'd ask.. err .. dinner?" Blue said looking hopefully at Nora.

"No way."

"I'll pay."

"Why didn't you say. Hungry Ringo?"

..

"Sure. Sure." Ringo said distractedly. He was still looking out the door after the Minister he noticed, and quickly collected himself. "Do you think the Minister has plans?"

"Oh," Blue smiled broadly having collected himself from a second blow in quick succession. "I think she's going to Akershus Festning. Some big do with the Scottish Ambassador.. Sorry."

He had the presence of mind to look it.

"So, what are we eating?" Ringo said, suddenly feeling hungry.

"I thought.. sushi?"

..
..
..
..

"I never knew raw fish could taste like that," Ringo exclaimed as they met the next day at Oslo S. It was true, raw fish had never tasted as good.

"Never had raw fish before?" Nora yawned. 5 in the morning must feel early for the civilians, he contemplated.

"Well, I've had rakfisk."

"Yeah, sushi is definitely not rakfisk."

"Don't you like rakfisk?"

"It's.. something else." Nora said after a pause. He saw the hint of a slight grimmace.

Blue stepped up to them with the tickets in his hand.

"Well, should we get on the train?" Blue also looked rather haggared Ringo noticed, these early morning calls did really trouble the civilians.

"At least that should go quickly, when does our plane leave?" Nora asked.

"Plane? We're taking the train, didn't you listen to me."

"The train?!" Nora said to Blue. "We are taking the fucking train?! To the Norh of Norway?!"

"Governement policy, I'm affraid."

"Governement policy? But it's about three times more expensive and takes four times as long?! And it doesn't even go all the way."

"We'll change to bus when we get to Bodø," Blue yawned. When Nora snorted he rolled his eyes. "Hey, I don't make the rules. Austerity, economic crisis. Whatever you want to call it. They think planes seem too cushy. At least for us lower ranked employees."

Blue seemed not his dapper self, neither did Nora. Ringo concluded it had to be the early morning and lack of sleep. Better to step in between before things escalated.

"Why don't we take Hurtigruta?" Ringo interjected, meaning it as a joke, but Blue seemed to pretended to take him seriously and answered.

"Oh, that would be considered sightseeing. Can't have civil servants sightseeing." His voice dripping with sarcasm as they boarded the train.

Part 3 wrote:"I'll get us some refreshments." Blue said heading in the direction of the cafeteria wagon. "You guys find our seats."
"What does it say on the tickets?" Ringo asked Nora looking over her shoulder.
"Komfort." Nora said shaking her head. "Governement employees.. Financial crisis my ass."
"They certainly know how to save money in style." Ringo couldn't help but smile.
-
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"So what does one do on these train trips?" Nora asked slumping into a window seat. White leather Ringo noticed, not the coarse fabric of the regular train seats.
"Sightseeing, I guess. Looking at the landscape going past the window. Isn't that what this country was made for?"
"What?"
"Sightseeing, looking at landscapes."
"Yeah.. true.. 30 hours still seems a bit like overdoing it. And it's not like it's all that pretty at the moment."
"What?"
"The view."
"Haha, no. Oslo S is not the prettiest place in the world."
"Not the prettiest? Let's call it ugly, that's what it is."
"Haha. Have anyone told you you're really funny when you're not trying to be."
"Riiight.."
"In a good way."
"Oh.. right.. thanks.. err.. no.. I don't think so." Nora smiled.
-
Blue returned putting three beers on the table in front of them.
"Oh, yum." Nora said taking a large sip of hers while getting her phone out of her pocket.
"Beer?! At five in the morning?" Ringo asked stunned
"Well, it's too early to be early. So, I figuered logically it must be late, and late seemed a good time for beer."
"Well, you can't argue with that logic." Ringo considered. It just wasn't very logical. "I think I'll go and get some tea or something." He said getting up.
"Ok." They both said, seemingly engrossed in their own activeties.
-
Ringo walked into the cafeteria wagon, finding girls about his age standing behind the counter.
"Hello, what can I get for you?" The one girl enquiered smiling in a distinct Trønder accent. "We're out of beer, I'm affraid."
"Yeah, someone already cleaned us out." Smiled the other one in an equally striking accent. "We don't normally sell much beer on these early departures."
"Just tea for me thanks." Ringo smiled back at them. "You're both from Trøndelag too?"
-
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"Nice moustache." The one girl said.
"Yeah, a real trønderbart." Said the other
"This thing?" Ringo said twirling his moustache trying to sound humble. "I just let it grow for Movember."
"You grew that for Movember?!"
"But that's only.."
"Three weeks, yeah." Ringo smiled what he hoped appeared shyly. "Must be the genes."
It seemed to have the desired effect.
-
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"You're a real life troll hunter?" The one girl said, shock clear on her face. "That's err.. very impressive."
"We'll, I try." Ringo said, trying to supress a smile.
"Does trolls really exist though?" Said the other girl. "I thought the Prime Minister said they didn't."
"Yeah, that comment wasn't very popular up north."
"Oh, those silly troll deniers." The first girl laughed. "They claim trolls are only fairytales, don't they. You surely don't belive that stuff, do you?" She said looking at the other girl accusingly.
"Erm.. no.. of course not." The other girl blushed.
"Trolls are most real, I assure you." Ringo said stoically.
"Really." They both smiled at him.
"Well, the ones I've met anyway." He smiled.
-
"So, do you get to spend much time at home?"
"Very little sadly. If I get close I'm mostly travelling back and forth between Oslo and the north, like now"
"Aww. That's a real shame."
"Oh, don't worry. You get used to it when you work in the military."
"You should have my number," The one girl said after a moment.
"Nonono, you should have mine," said the other.
"Oh, I feel no need to play favourites," Ringo said taking their numbers, flashing them his most winning smile and heading back to towards his seat.
-
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He returned finding Blue asleep in his seat, his beer still untouched, and Nora seemigly engrossed in her phone.
"So, did you get your tea?" Nora smiled at him. "Or did something more interesting happen?"
"What? Why?"
"Well, you have been gone for two hours. I had your beer, I hope that's okay."
"Oh, no problem." Ringo hesitated. "Just.. talking to some people."
"Girl people?"
"Err.. yes. From around where I'm from."
"And?" Noras smile widened.
"Well.. it went quite well."
"You got a number?"
"Two, actually."
"Two numbers? That deserves a high five, I think." Nora said, smiling widely.
"The fun you miss when you're alseep," Blue yawned, seemingly waking from a pleseant dream, as his phone rang. "Ah, duty calls it seems. I better get this."
"Perhaps it's his violin teacher," Ringo mused as Blue walked off. "They're going out, apparently."
"No, they are not!" Nora blurted out.
"What?"
"Nothing." She said, pointedly looking out the window.
"So, what have you been doing?" Ringo said after a few moments of heavy silence.
"Oh, just talking to people. Letting them know I'm coming back home. That sort of stuff."
"I wonder if I should tell people I'm on a train going straight past them." And straight past attractive young women who wants to go out with me, he almost added.
"Yeah, sorry." Nora said giving him a compassionate look.
"Oh, don't worry. You get used to it when you work in the military."
"Ah, that's your pick up line, is it?"
"Not really, though it seems to function like one sometimes. How did you know?"
"Oh, I'm not an agent for nothing. Psychology and human nature, that's all.. err.. second nature for us. You know, as pick up lines go, it's not too bad." Nora laughed. "Maybe I'll try it sometime."

"Dovre is rather pretty." Nora said looking out of the window.
"It is, yeah." Ringo said taking in the view.
"So, I got something right?" Blue enquired.
"Weeell, this half hour was worth it. I'll not speak for the rest." Nora said reluctantly.

"Beer?! At five in the morning?" Ringo asked stunned
"Well, it's too early to be early. So, I figuered logically it must be late, and late seemed a good time for beer."

leelee wrote:Who are you?

Part 4 wrote:"So, how is it breathing home air?" Blue asked Ringo as they were standing on the platform at Trondheim station.
"Nothing like it, for the five minutes I get to."
"Haha, remember the Christmas we spent at your parents place?"
"Yeah. What a disaster that was."
"A fun disaster though."
"Yeah."
"Listening to Hans Rotmo day in and day out. Vårres Jul, wasn't it?"
"Hehe, yupp."
"Christmas in Trøndelag. That became a saying in our family."
"Really."
"I thought it a good thing though."
-
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"Stjørdal." Blue said looking out the train window. "Now were officially the furthest north I've ever been."
"Really? Well, that does explain a lot." Nora said rolling her eyes.
"Or was it Verdalen.." Blue went on. "I can never remember which one is furthest north."
"Firstly. Do you mean Verdal? Verdalen is a very small place quite far inland." Ringo said showing off his local knowledge.
"Ah, you're probably right."
"Secondly, that's it."
"Really?"
"By about 60 kilometers."
"So, we'll be the farthest north I've ever been in about 60 kilometers." Blue considered, still looking out the window. "That's a bit anti-climatic.. Sorry."
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-.
"... and he died faking his own death, apparently."
"Really."
"That's the thing about chaos theory though. Small, apparently unimportant matters can become very important. A butterfly stirs its wings on a branch, and on the other side of the world a mountain collapses, and all that."
"Right. Err... Any chance of that happening anytime soon?" Ringo said pointing to the mountainside outside the train window, the train hurtling through the stunning northern fjordlandian landscape. One thing this country wasn't short of. "Any buttterflies flapping their wings on the other side of the world?"
Blue seemed to contemplate the notion.
"I'd say it's more methaphorical really, but who knows.. Perhaps we'll get hit by a methaphorically collapsing mountainside."
"She's been over there a while, hasn't she." Ringo said, thankful for a chance to change the subject. "What do you think they're talking about?"
"Well, they're American, apparently. So, I'd guess either food or sports."
"Not chaos theory, then?"
Blue smiled.
"Probably not."
Nora, seemingly seeing them looking in her direction, made her way back over from where she had been sitting talking to the two Americans.
"So, what have you been talking about?" Ringo asked.
"Oh, just... stuff, you know. Exchanging email adresses and all that. Also, they kept asking about herring. Where to buy it and so on. Seemed to think it a delicacy."
"Really."
"I just said.. the store." Nora said slumping back into her seat.
"That's not.. very helpful." Ringo offered.
"Hey. You can get it at the store."
"They were called.. David and Eldo, weren't they?" Blue asked. "Strange name that, Eldo."
"Yeah, you can talk." Nora said rolling her eyes.
"Hey, it's a traditional fjordlandian name." Blue said, seeming genuinely offended.
"What are they, anyway? Father and son?"
"No, they said they weren't related."
"So are they ...?" Ringo wagged his eyebrows.
"No.." Nora said shocked. "At least.. I don't think so." She said shooting them a covert look.
"And they're going to Bodø?" Blue asked.
"Yes, apparently some American guidebook told them that's the hidden gem of the fjordlandian north. I tried to put them straight, but.. they wouldn't believe me."
"Well, I guess they'll find out in not too long." Ringo laughed. Only 30 minutes to go of an 18 hour train journey. "How long is the wait for the bus." And a 12 hour bus trip to look forward too.
"Actually, that was what the phone call was about." Blue yawned. "The ministry has gotten someone to drive down and collect us, apparently."