Movember

Now, Norc, Blue is against standardised pronounciation by prinicple

ofcourse he is, he's a southerner

Yeah, god damn søring   

{{{ Trøndere er godkjent, sant?  }}}

{{{såvidt}}}

Norc wrote:ofcourse he is, he's a southerner

Hey, I resemble that remark.   

Norc wrote:

Bluebottle wrote:

Norc wrote:nåv.. nåv? seriously? it is næo. pronounced næo.

Dialects man... Dialects... 

u don't understand what i mean!!!!!!

Well, you obviously don't mean that an affected Norwegian pronunciation of English wouldn't be subject to differences in dialect.

So I'm not sure we really disagree on anything.

næo is probably closer to the actual English pronunciation, true.

Norc wrote:

Bluebottle wrote:And if you're trying, that is great.   

Can't really ask anything more.

well i forgot.

That's fine.

Hope you did something fun with your day.   

i did ice-skating, train taekwon-do and watched the season finale of GOT (s3)

and of the movember question...

Norc wrote:and of the movember question...

Or this:

i already hate that song, so i am not clicking play.

It sprang to mind when I read that title

Edit: Typo

Norc wrote:i did ice-skating, train taekwon-do and watched the season finale of GOT (s3)

Sounds fun.   

I haven't been ice skating in ages.

bumping the thread because...



also the final is coming up in the near future,  i know there has been a lot of false alamrs but yeah, ABER JETZT!!

Nice.  

{{{To both dat stache and the news of the final installment!}}}

Movember final!!
parts:
[1][2][3]

November the 20^th


Agent Nora Herring and DI Eldo sat across the table fighting against all bodily impulses not to laugh hysterically.
«Best breakfast entertainment EVER!» Nora said and drowned her laughter in her tea-cup. Sgt. Ringo Herring and Blue Bottél both struggled immensly to eat a sandwich with mayonnaise with moustaches the size of otters. 
«hold on» Eldo said and searched his pockets, «I need to take a pictures.» Both Ringo and Blue had been furiously ignoring them, but now they both looked up from the ongoing war against sandwich-topping 
«Oh no you don’t!» Ringo said, pointing a greasy finger at Eldo. «I swear to God I’ll break your neck». But the threat didn’t seem very legit as mayonnaise and tomato dripped down from his majestic moustache. Blue huffed and turned the ham upside down. 
«Whoever made  these devil-sandwiches, why the hell did you put the mayonnaise  and tomato on top?!». 
«That’s how I always make them» Nora protested with a huge smirk on her face.
”Oh my God, Blue, you’re a genius!” Ringo said as he noticed what Blue had done with his ham and immediately did the same, but his fingers slipped and the whole sandwich landed on the floor, much to Leopold’s liking. 
“anyone regretting this movember-challenge yet?” Eldo asked.
He didn’t get an answer but they both gave him a dark look and continued the struggle. 
 
November the 22^nd


“Hey Ringo” Nora yelled up the stairs. “We’re running late, are you coming or not?!”
Nora had agreed to pick up Eldo and Ringo on her way to work, but now immensely regretting it. Eldo had been awake and ready, but Ringo was nowhere to be seen. Eldo tapped his wristwatch. 
”We’re gonna be terribly late. Let’s just go.” He took his jacket, but Nora held him back.
”We’re fine for a couple of more minutes, but we have to drive in a hell of a speed if we don’t want Elthir down our throats.” Nora said, calculating their average speed down to the police station, friction, gravity, speed through corners and the air-resistance Ringo’s moustache would generate.
”i think the expression is “in someone’s throat”, not down...” She looked at him with a confused look, as to ask “what’s the difference”, but Eldo just shrugged.
”But hey, if that’s what you like, i won’t stop you.”
”Eldo, you pig” she said and hit him on the shoulder “that’s not what i meant!”
”whaaat, it’s Elthir, one never knows!” he continued with a half smile.
“Don’t you dare include me in your dirty fantasies” 
”What dirty fantasies?” Ringo stood atop of the stairs looking a lot like he himself would be part of someones very dirty fantasy. His moustache now included his sideburns as well and it was all arranged in four, no six, different swirls. The tons of Mrs. Figg’s very special moustache styling wax in that trønderbart was just unthinkable. His hair was pulled backwards into a small pony tail (he had refused to cut that too) and he was sporting a rather casual police uniform today, with rolled up sleeves and three unbuttoned buttons. He was standing there, chest shot forward, elbow leaning on the wall and his other hand resting on his baton with a smug grin on his face. 
”oh dear lord Eru” Nora breathed out. Eldo was equally shocked, or perhaps just mesmerized, but he cleared his throat and said:
”Ringo, you simply can’t go to work like that.”
”yes,” Nora shot in. “it looks... not very professional and...” she lost her words. ”you just can’t.” 
Ringo sighed and his whole posture broke down.  
”I know.” he said. “fucking Blue who can just sit in his little office and look over laws...” he shook his head.
”it has to go, dear.” Nora said and lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.
”No, i can’t. I can’t loose over that smug devil!”
”it’s not losing” Eldo said and tried to sound reasonable. “It’s just being the bigger person.”
”I am the bigger person! I have the biggest muscles, the biggest moustache, the biggest d-“
”OK! we got it” Nora interrupted. “We don’t have time for this, ok! we gotta go!”
 
November the 25^th


“This is starting to become ridiculous.” Eldo shook his head as he observed Ringo. The sergeant was examining the crime scene, but he had great difficulties moving around without contaminating it with his moustache. Or maybe it was the other way around, he wasn’t sure. 
”only now starting to?” Nora raised an eyebrow.
 
 
“Have you read through those papers yet, Blue?” Ambassador Amarië asked through the door.
“I have one paper left, Ambassador” he answered, still reading, holding the paper horizontally out in front of him (he had trouble looking down).
“Please, call me Amarië” she turned to walk, but hesitated. “Isn’t it time you and Ringo stopped this silly little contest?” Blue looked up from the paper. “No, not at all.”
Amarië gave him a look of pity. “I don’t know how to break this to you, Blue, but it has started to smell a little.” His eyes went wide.
“It has?!” He smelled his moustache. “I can’t smell a thing.” Amarië sighed.
“Either you have grown accustomed to your smell or you’re growing out your nose hairs too, but believe me, it smells.”
“oh man, I am so sorry, Ambassador!” he looked at her, tears in his eyes. “I had no idea” his voice cracked.
“there, there” Amarië rushed up to him and patted his curly head. “It will be over in no-time, you won’t feel a thing.”
“no but you don’t see” his eyes now welling in tears, “I can’t lose to Ringo.. not again. I have to beat him in at least one thing.”
“oh dear you,” Amarië pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to avoid a headache. “if you tend to beat him, you have to pick your battles with more care.” She grabbed him by his whiskers and looked him straight in the eye.
“He’s a goddamn trønder, you moron!”

November 28^th


“OH MY FCUKING JESUS GOD WHAT THE DARKEST OF HELLS GET THAT SATAN OUT OF HERE !!!!!!”
was the line Eldo woke up to on Nora’s birthday. He stumbled out of the sofa he had been sleeping on and rushed up the stairs to his own bedroom where Nora had crashed for the night.
“what on earth is go-“
“I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING MOUSTACHES ON THESE MOTHERFUCKING MEN!”
she was standing in niunja-sogi on her bed, fists raised in palmok-daebi-makgi and with a fierce look on her face. Beside her stood a tall creature covered in something that looked like cake and Leopold was licking its hands. Behind it stood Blue, shielding himself with a tea tray, cups and tea spilled on the floor.
“Ringo, what did you do?” Eldo asked. The frosted creature rubbed away until it found its eyes.
“I just wanted to wish her a happy birthday.”
“AND I APPRECIATE THE CONSIDERATION BUT ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND?!” Nora roared. Eldo put his hand to his forehead in a discreet facepalm. “Did you, by any chance, try to kiss her?” Ringo looked very quilty. 
“I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUCKING DRAUGEN!” oh no not the draugen again, Eldo thought to himself.
“Calm down, Nora!” Ringo said (“I AM CALM”) “you can’t be reacting like that every time Leopold gives you a morning kiss?”
“Leopold knows better” Nora hissed and sat down on her bed. “honestly though, this has to stop.” She picked up a piece of cake on the floor and put it in her mouth.
“I agree with Nora,” Eldo nodded “none of you can function in your jobs now and November is over soon anyways”.
“Here’s the deal.” Nora stood up and pulled Leopold away from the cake before he started looking like Ringo. “we’re holding a vote today at noon, we get a few judges and decide who has the better moustache.” The boys nodded.
“and” Nora continued “if anyone of you have any facial hair left at my birthday party tonight, I will personally rip them out one by one, understand?”

Noon came and they had gathered up a pretty assembly of judges who took their new task very seriously (except for Petty who only showed up because he was promised free buckie). Azriel had showed up sporting a long, fashionable black dress and a hat that was equally long, while Amarië came in her usual stylish garment of purple fabrics. Mrs Figg had showed up even though she absolutely hated facial hair, but she had argued she would vote for the least disgusting moustache. Halfwise had also showed up. He was a big fan of facial hair, or hair in general really. So there they were, Petty, Azriel, Amarië, Mrs. Figg and Halfwise. Nora and Leopold made a little introductory speech.
“You are gathered here today to decide which of the following two gentlemen have the better moustache. I don’t give a flying horse crap about what criteria you go for, just get on with it.” She then handed the mic to Eldo and took as seat.
“first out is Blue Bottèl!” Blue came prancing out, looking very magnificent. “He’s sporting a honey-blond moustache, carefully twisted and turned upwards in vertical spirals! Give him a round of applause!” Blue winked and blew a kiss at Amarië. She noted it but looked everything but charmed.
“Next up is Ringo Herring!” Ringo got a significantly bigger applause than Blue. Maybe because people knew him or maybe because he had taken of his shirt, Eldo wasn’t sure. If Blue had turned on the charm when he walked on stage (and when he met Nora for the first time), this was something completely different. Eldo had always thought Ringo was a notorious flirt, but only now did he realize he had only witnessed a tiny fraction of it as Ringo for real unleashed his powers. Eldo lost all words and let the mic fall as Ringo pranced around the stage, waving and winking, blowing kisses and flexing, music and movements in glorious harmony.
“Eldo” Nora whispered. “I think those stories might be true after all.” Eldo nodded and with a faint voice said: “yes, I agree….”

There was a moment of silence as the judges examined the two. Nora grabbed the microphone.
“Now, if the judges can give their verdict.”
“Well” Petty awoke. “They’re equally horrible, can I go now? Where’s mah buckie?”
“I kinda agree with Petty here” mrs. Figg said and purged her lips. “But Blue here has a smaller moustache, so it’s less messy and he’s surprisingly classy for that moustache, so my vote goes to him.”
“look, we agree on something, Figgy” Petty held up his palm as he awaited the high-five.
“you wish” she answered, ignoring the high-five-request.
“I like my men tall, dark and handsome, so my vote goes to Ringo.” Azriel said and gave him a little wave with her hand.
“That leaves one blank, one for Blue and one for Ringo” Nora summed up in the mic, eager to get this over with.
“well” Amarië folded her hands in front of here, contemplating carefully who to pick. This was a hard choice, she thought, but then her mind sprang to the teary-eyed Blue at her office and said “Blue”. Ringo looked at her with utter shock, he had thought she at least would vote for him. It all depended on Halfwise now.
“If one elects to wear facial hair” he started “one must have the appearance elsewhere to suit such a majestic beard” he stroked his own beard/hair/moustache/chest-hair/feet-hair. “A certain robust, outdoorsman look which few here possess, but me.” Nora rolled her eyes.. this was too much, just announce the winner!
“the one with the most outdoor-looking-look here is…” he smiled “Blue Bottél!” The audience broke out in applause.
“The winner of the moustache competition is Blue Bottél!” Nora announced, but Ringo wanted it otherwise.
“WHAT?!” He took a step forward. “He’s more outdoor-looking than me?!” He looked from Halfwise to Blue. “Have you seen the guy?”
“Well, he has a nice tan and muscles like a rock-climber..” Halfwise shrugged.
“The tan comes from a sunbed plugged into a wall and he’s wearing a fucking man-bra! He curls his hair like an old lady and spends more hours at the gym than I do during a month! I’ve been in the motherfucking ARMY! Fighting trolls and giant herrings, don’t tell me that he’s more outdoor-looking than me!” Ringo was furious. “I got chest-hair goddamnit!” he said ripping out a handful.
“I-I-I don’t wear a man-bra!” Blue stuttered.
“Oh yes you do” Ringo said and pulled at his t-shirt. “You’re as skinny as Eldo.”
“Hey, don’t bring me into this manopause debate and manliness shit!” Eldo protested, but he wasn’t heard. Blue seemed at the brink of crying again.
“For once I would have liked to beat you, Ringo” he hulked. “Just to be better at you at something.” He dried his eyes at his best ability but the tears just came flowing. “like, you always get the girls (and boys) and you’ve always been bigger and better at everything.. I thought that if I pursued I career in law I wouldn’t be compared to the sergeant-Herring, but I was wrong.” He sniffled and looked down at his shoes. Ringo seemed speechless, clearly touched, but finally he opened his mouth.
“oh Blue..” he lay a hand on his shoulder. “you should have told me. Hey, don’t cry.” Blue looked up and hiccoughed. He smiled a little and Ringo returned it.
“you silly fellow.” He smiled that quirky Ringo-smiled and gave him a proper bear-hug, “if you’re gonna beat me at something, don’t pick moustache-growing” he laughed and so did Blue.
“So we’re good?” Blue asked.
“Of course we are, brother” Ringo smiled. “I’ll let you in on a secret or two, ok?” Blue nodded.
“ok”.  
“nobody wins”
“ok, fair”
“YES!” Nora exclaimed “finally, can you know cut it off?”
“yes, sure” Blue said and Ringo joined in “of course.”
“you go first” Blue said.
“no, you do the honour” Ringo answered.
“you know, I actually kinda like it..”
“yeah me too” and then they both walked of the stage, comparing beauty-tips and moustache-tips.


There was a moment of silence.
“what just happened now?” Eldo asked no one in particular. Mrs Figg huffed something about this being ridiculous and strode off while Halfwise seemed to have changed opinion about the finest moustache. (“Yes, Leopold, you have the best moustache, yes you do, yes you dooo”)
Nora and Eldo looked at each other.
“we’re gonna have to cut it off while they’re sleeping, right?”
“yepp”
.
.
.
“damn, why didn’t we think of that earlier?!”

i know i said at the beginning that there would be illustraitons.. i think i'll leave this story illustrationless, just because i think the pictures we create in our head would be way better than i'd ever make

omg rereading this thread is just so fun

 

{{{Oh, Ringo... }}}

i spent all day on that and all you have to say is  " "

I knew I'd have to go for dinner only a minute after I wrote that post, but I wanted to say something right away.  I enjoy your more madcap take on Needlehole goings-on, and the character interactions here made me laugh.  I feel for Ringo though, since as he's pointed out he has an awful lot to live up to compared to his alter ego.  But it's good fun and I appreciate you finishing the story, since it sucks when stuff just stops with no resolution.  (Not that I would know anything about that... )

Haaahaaa!! God, that was beyond brilliant, I chuckled, giggled, gigglesnorted, lol-ed and when the family asked what was so funny I said "heheverything!"

What a great way to start the day!