Books!

Much as I like GRRM's own work, I'm really glad that he speaks up about LOTR and Tolkien and his appreciation thereof so often.

For the bookseller among us.

That was making the round on the private B&N bookseller FB page a day or two ago. I loved it. You don't know whether to laugh or cry at what customers do to the store half the time, so seeing something genuinely hilarious would make it all worth it for a little while.

The first pic reminds me of a little game I play sometimes.  I'll keep a running mental tally of how many different racial caricatures I see in the romance section in a given day.  Scottish dudes often come out on top, which always makes me think of Petty and wonder what the women who buy these books would think of him.

I haven't found a lot of time to read lately (taking a break from The Dark Tower), but I've been listening to an audiobook while driving around (which I've been doing a lot of lately). I'm currently listening to "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury. It's a book that I read many years ago and wanted to revisit.

The book is a series of vignettes which follows the inadvertent conquest of Mars by humans. Lots of good social commentary for 1950's sci-fi, and the episodic nature of the book keeps the pace moving forward with new characters and situations in each chapter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Martian_Chronicles

which always makes me think of Petty and wonder what the women who buy these books would think of him.- Eldo


More importantly where do I meet the women who buy these books!


'I'm currently listening to "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury. '- Bungo

I read that years ago and really enjoyed it.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:More importantly where do I meet the women who buy these books!

Hang out in a (non-Scottish) bookstore for long enough and I'm sure you'll see some. The weirdest part is when you get people asking for their specific fetishes.  The other day I had a woman older than my mom ask for "something like 50 Shades", which is a pretty common occurrence.  But when I asked if that meant "romance novels that lean towards the racier side" she got all flustered and said something to the effect of "no, even more than that."  Like, lady ... porn exists.  Google it sometime.

She seemed really disappointed that those sort of books were lumped in with romance and that we didn't have a straight-up fuck fiction section.  I was tempted to recommend she visit Literotica.com, but I chickened out.

On the other end of the spectrum though we have the people who are so offended by the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition that they go around flipping over all the copies they can find.  That crowd was really mad last year when both sides of the magazine had mostly-naked chicks on them (Kate Upton on the front, three models pressing their asses together on the back).

Perhaps that would have been beyond your remit as a bookseller. Though I would have thought that 50 shades of grey copycats were a dime a dozen from writers and publishers wanting to throw themselves on the craze?

Eldorion wrote:That was making the round on the private B&N bookseller FB page a day or two ago. I loved it.  You don't know whether to laugh or cry at what customers do to the store half the time, so seeing something genuinely hilarious would make it all worth it for a little while.

Yeah. I love the "Things that scare me" containing zombies, love and Regis Phillbin. And the take-away menues.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:which always makes me think of Petty and wonder what the women who buy these books would think of him.- Eldo

More importantly where do I meet the women who buy these books!

Well, seeing as you know a procurer of just such an establishment, you just get yourself over to the colonies and I'm sure Eldo can wingman you up something.  

Someone told me he has quite the sideline into the 50 shades market, actually.  

Sounds like MILF's R Us in Eldo's bookstore.

Eldorion wrote:
On the other end of the spectrum though we have the people who are so offended by the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition that they go around flipping over all the copies they can find.  That crowd was really mad last year when both sides of the magazine had mostly-naked chicks on them (Kate Upton on the front, three models pressing their asses together on the back).

I saw the backside(s) online...have to admit if I had happened across it in hard copy I would have plopped down good money for it. I wonder if SI triples their volume for the swimsuit issue?

You should send your old ladies to the Anne Rice section - she wrote a series of 'Beauty' books just to play with the fantasy (originally under the name Anne Rampling). Said she had no interest at all in actually living out the fantasy herself, but was fascinated by the fact that the fantasy was so rampant, so wrote some books playing it to the hilt, as only Anne Rice can.

Bluebottle wrote:Perhaps that would have been beyond your remit as a bookseller. Though I would have thought that 50 shades of grey copycats were a dime a dozen from writers and publishers wanting to throw themselves on the craze?  

Oh, they are.  It's funny when you walk through the romance section cause you can tell the difference between your "traditional" romance novels and the 50 Shades knockoffs by the cover alone.  Traditional ones have photos of models on them and usually a number of bright colors on the background.  The 50 Shades knockoffs are usually monotone except for one or two items (not people) on the cover.  There's a similar but even more pronounced phenomenon in the teen romance section, which includes both your "realistic" romances and your Twilight-inspired paranormal romances.  Basically, if it's a "realistic" romance, the cover is pink, light purple, or white.  If it's paranormal, the cover is black, grey, or a very dark blue.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:Sounds like MILF's R Us in Eldo's bookstore.

Kinda. We do a lot of our business during the day, and before 5 PM the vast majority of customers are either retirees or adult women. The percentage of men in the store doesn't go up until around the end of typical business hours (and sometimes during the lunch hour). I was a little surprised by that but I suppose stereotypes have to have a basis. I do live in a fairly conservative area though so this might not be the case with all bookstores everywhere.

halfwise wrote:I saw the backside(s) online...have to admit if I had happened across it in hard copy I would have plopped down good money for it.  I wonder if SI triples their volume for the swimsuit issue?

Probably way more than triples. Most times we don't get a ton of SI and it's not a huge seller, the exception being when a local athlete is on the cover. But the swimsuit edition is still a major event for a lot of people.

You should send your old ladies to the Anne Rice section - she wrote a series of 'Beauty' books just to play with the fantasy (originally under the name Anne Rampling).  Said she had no interest at all in actually living out the fantasy herself, but was fascinated by the fact that the fantasy was so rampant, so wrote some books playing it to the hilt, as only Anne Rice can.

Yeah, the Sleeping Beauty series has probably benefited from 50 Shades, although it's shelved under fiction with the rest of the Anne Rice books, not in romance. I do find myself wondering how many people who read 50 Shades do it because they actively fantasize about BDSM or were just curious about its popularity or for the novelty factor. I know it's pretty common as far as kinks go, but 100 million copies sold common? I dunno. Apparently the series ends with the guy giving up his BDSM practices in order to keep the girl, but that hasn't stopped plenty of people from reading the knockoffs.

Fortunately I think this one is still e-book only though:

'a dolphin-shifter menage'- well thats a tag line I never thought I'd read!

Petty you just need to leave Scotland and that's where the women are buying those highlander books. its everywhere but Scotland.

its everywhere but Scotland- Figg

The difference I fear Figg is that women elsewhere are intrigued by the possibility of what is under our kilts, and the lassies here already know its mainly buckie.

Pettytyrant101 wrote:'a dolphin-shifter menage'- well thats a tag line I never thought I'd read!

Description on Amazon:

"When faced with the shape-shifting pod of dolphins looking for a mate, this BBW bites off more than she can chew.

Kristen isn't looking forward to returning home from her Hawaiian vacation. Mourning the last day of paradise, she decides to go for a swim during twilight. When she's caught in a powerful riptide and swept out to sea, Kristen is saved by a pod of playful dolphins. What she didn't know is that they're taking her to a small island to claim her as their own.

Dominated by the Dolphins by Olivia J. Rose is an erotic short story of over 6,500 words. It contains explicit material, including menage, BBW, seeding and much, much, more. To view Olivia's other works, visit her author page!"

'Seeding'?? Time to start googling...

Wasn't quite as out there as I thought (sort of romantic actually), but still....

Did you buy that Halfy?

It's only $3. I think I have software that reads kindle, I may...just so I can quote from it at length in these hallowed threads.

got it. You can read kindle on the cloud now! Anyway, quote #1:

"...The tall dolphin man took his place kissing Kristen, his hand resting on her cheek. He tasted more like seaweed and ocean than the others, but there was also something sweet about his scent. It intoxicated her...."

copy/paste is disable in the cloud reader, so I can only do short quotes.

Well that didn't take long.  It was basically a multi-menage with her and the dolphin men, that went on for about 8 explicit pages nonstop.  End of story.

But at the end it lists other titles by the same author:
Seeded by the Wolves: a BBW Werewolf Menage
Killer Weakness: an Orca-Shifter Fantasy
Humped by the Humpback: A BBW Were-Whale Fantasy

And then a number of BDSM fantasies, Pet-play Party, Pet-play Palace, Pet-play Paradise.

Knock yourselves out, boys and girls.