WHOLESOME TALES

Oh no, I should never to make a comment on our Queen!

Our Queen, in the normal course of things, would take the liberty of making comments on Me!

Also, sometimes, with the best of intentions, one forgets to mention one's friends.

Mind you, and I don't mean to criticise your Majesty, you do seem to spend a lot of time in Valinor and not much here in Forumshire and so not always be at the forefront of one's mind.... but I only say it meekly and with all deference...

I'll make sure the blocks ready, the axe sharp and executioner sober, just in case you'll be needing them your Maj.

(((((You're not helping, Petty! )))))

((((What! I said I'd make sure the executioner was sober! You don't want a drunk one taking half a dozen goes at it do you? Besides its Queen Tin, she's soft and got an exquisite nose, you'll be fine. And if not thanks to me it'll at least be quick and clean. Here to help as someone is fond of saying. ))))

((((Of course, I'm not scared of Queen Tin in the least. I know she's a softie - with an exquisite nose like that how could she be any other way? You know, I would crush her like a cream puff in my hand,except that I'm a tolerant fellow mindful of the innate fragility of the fairer sex... Btw I'm only using an encryption spell because you are. It's called "mirroring" and is done as a courtesy to who you're talking to. You see, in some ways, I'm respectful like Odo. The use of the spell is definitely not for any other reason))))))

(((( I was only using an encrytpion spell because you were! Now if Queen Tin comes here and smells all the cinnamon she might think its a plot- you know what Royalty is like for spotting plots everywhere. This is all your fault. I'm a loyal subject! Chief Buckie Supplier to the Queen I can't be getting invoved in this.))))

(((((A sycophant yes, a loyal subject, no! Don't pretend, Petty. You are descended from the McTyrants after all, notoriously unsteady friends - in more ways than one - and not like Me, loyal through and through... and I don't say this because the Queen is a High Elf with Valinorean Powers... err.... that might be able to see through encryption spells!

Ummm... I would raise an even more disturbing thought. I fear I'm turning into Odo! I hope not everyone here eventually turns into Odo... how dull...)))))

((((One Odo is more than enough. Why did I encrypt that? And I am not sycophantic I'm practical. Its hard to drink buckie with no head!)))

(((((Nor be unsteady....)))))

(((( What's that supposed to mean? I'm always unsteady, I've got a condition. Its called being drunk.))))

((((Yes, it was an esoteric thing to say... I'll look up my Esoteric Phrase Book... )))))

I hear that Royalty and Administrators sometimes have the power to break encryptions, among other things.

Umm just to say, for no real reason, out in the open how much I approve of our Queen and our Admin.

Ditto...

Orwell wrote:To the Editor,

How come Raspberry Squash keeps getting mentioned?

Yes, she's cute and wilfull and makes a most fine anti-heroine, but what about us others!

Come on, Archet Bugle. Get your authors to write stuff that entertains everyone, not just about your favorite little forumer, Squach! It's unfair how you're treating the rest of us!

Dear Orwell,
Some people are too kind to let a good thing go, you see. So I must be his favourite forumer, but i am NOT small, or litte or tiny! I am almost as tall as Kafria and I have a friend who comes up to my mouth.

ANTi-HEROINE!!! How dare you! I am most certainly heroine-ey!

From you annoyed friend,
Raspberry Squash Squach

Pettytyrant101 wrote: Do you want a Raspberry Squashed face?

Yes, he wants a Raspberry Squash face because I am beatiful! Duh!

You've got to admit, "Raspbery Squash" is a wonderful name (which your Mum had an indirect hand in, in a way, though, of course, she can't be blamed for it, you must ask her about it all, the process was a good story in itself). And as our Forumshire has become much "nicer" and possibly even "more thoughtful" lately, I am going to ask Odo's anonymous author friend, if he can find any tales in which Raspberrry Squash plays a more positive role.

(((((No promises about outcomes Squach, of course, because you know old Odo can be quite wilful himself, and he is definitely set in his ways. But I'll do my best! I personally think you are great fun and a great Forumshire Forumer btw, and I'm sure Odo's mysterious writing associate himself is only jibing and japing and joking about you, with no intent to hurt or harm! Though I'm sure you know that already! ))))))

((((I'll give it some thought, Orwell, but it'll be tough. Raspberry Squash as "heroine"? I'll have to resort to using my imagination to do that, and fiction is not my area of expertise, as you know. I mean, should I, a respectable Elder of Forumshire, run that kind of risk? As my Grand Daddy was wont to say: "The river of unstrammelled imagination runs swiftly down to the ocean of unrespectability." I must seek advice fron janesmith, I feel. I cannot be hasty!)))))

Personally, I'm just wondering what's so very painful about me.

Isn't like I use my bow that much.

To be fair, that was "Baingil the Very Painful," dear Baingil. I fear, your inability to concentrate properly, is one of your painful qualities. Never fear, the other forumers here are also painful, all in their own way; you're just "Very" painful. It's a fairly pedantic nuance, but a nuance just the same... Here to help!

Of course you said "very painful." That's why I asked "what's so very painful about me."

Whoops! I must have lost concentration... Mmm... uncomfortable situation... I'm off the walk the dog! ((((bye)))))

I think Odo means that you cause him -- specifically -- pain. I also think that the reason why should be obvious to you.

Oh dear.

Hey, I was just curious!