Mystery Solved: Why women dig LotR Dudes

I've always been mystified as to why women go ape-shit over the guys in LotR.  The same actors have been in other movies:  Orlando Bloom was in Pirates of the Carribean - no reaction.  Viggo's been in other movies, but you'd never know it from the female peanut gallery.  Yet I've heard groups of women rave over the LotR dudes in ways you never hear them do over the likes of George Clooney or David Beckham.

I thought it may be due to sweaty, gritty guys on screen for a change.  But you get that in war movies and sportscasts with no bras being thrown at the screen.  Maybe it was dudes acting noble, but you get that in war movies too.  So what's the difference?

I think it's the hair.

In most other situations the guys have buzz-cuts in comparison.  The only time you get long hair is in 70's movies or prehistoric movies, and their behavior is just not attractive.  LotR created the perfect storm of noble dudes in long hair, tapping into a long lost resource which modern women are so rarely exposed to. It's subliminal.

I think I'll let mine grow.

halfwise wrote:Orlando Bloom was in Pirates of the Carribean - no reaction.

Um ... where were you in 2006-07?

EDIT: this doesn't necessarily hurt your theory though, as both Bloom and Depp were rocking the long hair in PotC. And Jack Davenport (Norrington) saw a boost in popularity around the time he grew out his hair and got all scruffy. Could be coincidence, though even in the first film he had that wig.

As for Viggo, since LOTR he's mostly avoided blockbusters and stuck to lower-profile, more artsy fare, which tends to attract fewer people who are only interested in celebrity-ogling.

And why did you have to solve it just as I'd decided I was well overdue for a haircut.

Men that have that "lived" aura, they are in control, you feel safe in their strength, shaggy hair is a plus, ( in more ways than I wish to elaborate !) I hate "pretty boys", one eye on the mirror, manicured hands, smelling of Armarni, not a hair trimmed out of place, And a voice, a voice that commands quiet control, firmness & loyalty. A well lived in body thats not afraid of confrontation & a sturdy face that wont back down. As well as knocking you bandy so you cant walk in the morning !

Uh oh Figgy, I think you're going to have some competition for Petty's affections!

Well I can certainly knock myself bandy with enough buckies. And no that's not a euphemism

Eldo ? you cheeky chappie you know I would do anything to upset Mrs Figg ? Anyway, I gotta think of those eels, I dont fancy a super charged electric one up the jacksy much

I'm sure it wasn't meant to read like a contact ad. (That Pettty should see it and find it descriptive was just dumb luck. Or the miracle of love if you wish. )

@ electric eel up the jacksie.

But seriously why are LOTR men so thingie? well part of it is the hair, shoulder length hair is synonymous with romantic heros, whether its Robert Powell as JC or Cristopher Lambert as Highlander, its kinda the uniform. But its more than that. much more. they are utterly unattainable a bit like Elves, they represent a man no mortal woman can have. Who could compete with Arwen? Boromir was married to the job, Legolas so pretty it hurts the eyeballs, Elrond a Lord of Elves and as far off as the stars and moon. Its nice to dream of epic Romance far away from doing the washing up and shopping for bog roll.

So women are drawn to men who are unboinkable?

So if I grow my hair and dump concrete down my drawers, it's helpful?

I think Mrs Figg is onto something. The unattainable nature of the fantasy also explains the popularity of slash (gay) fanfiction among straight women. LOTR has one of the biggest slash fandoms around.

halfwise wrote:So women are drawn to men who are unboinkable?

Well yeah, aren't women attracted to men who are already spoken for?

its the same reason Severus Snape is sexy (apart from Rickman's voice) same hair, same unboinkableness.

I'm not sure it's inherent. I think men try so hard to come off as boinkable that it's a relief to find some guy who isn't. If the tables were turned and all men were trying hard to be unboinkable, then the few boinkattainable ones would seem more attractive.

Look, just tell me does this all mean my hairy arse is boinkable or not, and is that still true after she has seen my used sock basket, well I say basket, I mean floor. And my scrap food bin, well I say bin, again I mean floor. Or my ashtray, well I say ashtray, I think you've got the gist. And thats before the poor lass encounters the Thing in the fridge. Never mind any thing under the kilt (two bottles of buckie and a deep fried battered sausage surprise )
But does all this make a hobbit more or less boinkable or not?

I think less is more in this case.

I agree with Figgy, There's something about wanting a man who is unreachable. It gets the heart pumping, makes you yearn. & why is it that most villans & guys from console games are so attractive ? My "thing" at the moment is Luke Evans as Dracula ! * slurp, drool* But then Call of Duty, Assasins creed & others all make the men wantable, I know the games guys are CGI but, there's a bit of truth in the design. How about "Bucky" from Captain America films ? Capt.America should be the desirable one ? but, I like Bucky, the baddie, ( who used to be his friend ) Loki is another, Manish men oooze sex appeal. sorry guys, thats how my hormones see it !

I think I have it sussed. Its not about forbidden fruit or just because somebody else got there first. Its the air of having something far far better to do, such as being on a Noble Quest, sailing the high seas, ordering green toilet bubbles about, while nonchelantly flicking a strand of Dunedainfresh hair out of steely eyes, and therefore I don't have time to boink or pander to your fangirling thingie thing.

Ah, I see.  So ignoring a woman doesn't work unless the reason you're doing it is because you've got far, far better things to do.

This explains why the normal reaction to this old trick appears to be relief rather than yearning. I thought maybe it was just because my hair wasn't long enough.

Halfy, you've got the longest hair of anyone, by rights you should have been boinked out of yer brains !

I try to spiff up for dates. Do you remember Leopold after being shaved for the summer?

halfwise wrote:Ah, I see.  So ignoring a woman doesn't work unless the reason you're doing it is because you've got far, far better things to do.

This explains why the normal reaction to this old trick appears to be relief rather than yearning.  I thought maybe it was just because my hair wasn't long enough.

The far far better things to do don't include washing the dog or football. just sayin

Making beer popsicles is out too?

Surely not?!