LITTLE FORUMSHIRE in FULL COLOUR (Unwanted visitors risk interference!)

Jelly jokes never get old!

[After Orwell and Mirabella had showered off their gooey jelly - Mirabella having called Orwell's bluff and invited him to shower with her - though he declined reluctantly due his concerns about the small cut that had been inflicted on a finger on the edge of Odo's jelly tub in the fall which he feared may be infected by germs - not saying girl-germs, he made that clear, because, as he said, "Contrary to all rumours I am a real manhobbit and am not the least the believer in girl germs, no matter what I was brought up to believe by my Mother, and passionately" ----- anyways, Odo made an awesome statement to his Council].

Odo: I have suddenly decided to step down.

Biffo: Wot?

Odo: As is well known about Little Forumshire - and that dratted Forumshire too, truth be known - I have been thought of as our own Holy Father for yonks, and much as it grieves me, what with all my Community Beneficial Business Interests, I need to downspeed a little to spend more time with my wives, Bella and Primmy - not to mention find more time to supervise those Fjordianlandian au pairs, kitchen maids, cooks and chamberrmaids of mine - who, quite frankly, especially need my keen eye on them - and occasional regretful slap - to keep them in line.

Orwell: Did you say, "Holy Father"?

Odo: An honorary title, of course, but the self-imposed duty I imposed on myself years ago has kept me away from home a lot - keeping my aforsaid eye on things about the place.

Mirabella: Has that anything to do with reports of you hiding in bushes...

Jane:... and dark lanes...

Biffo:... und unsavvhorry ustublishments?

Odo: [cough] That is part - a small part - very small -- tiny in fact -- of my, what I would call, 'keeping an eye upon all-things-direspectable' strategy, yes... hmm... [cough] ... hmmm... not to say, 'unrespectable' as well... [cough]

Jane: Did you say 'Holy Father"?

Odo: A titular title, of course - if you'll excuse the tautology - I've often overheard folk refer to me as 'Holy Father.'Rather kind of 'em, but undoubtably entailing a true assessment...

Mirabella: Who - exactly - calls you 'Holy Father', Uncle Odo?

Odo: Well, the chambermaids at Baroness Tootletook's mansion where I've spent time assisting with.. important matters... not for public release... high finance, you know... confidential... And then there's those sweet girls from Mrs Figg's Emprorium as I saunter pass on my lawful day to day affairs.. and then...

Biffo: Youse meen, 'Horey Fadder."

Odo: Pardon?

Mirabella: Bro' means "Hoary Father', Unkle.

Biffo: Yah! Thatz rite, Nunkle Oddu!

Odo: No, I'm sure they say, "Holy Father". Rather fit -- for me - I thought... "Hoary Father"? No, no - don't be ridiculous.

Orwell: So you're not going to sneak around Little Forumshire so much anymore? Is that it?

Odo: That's a very disrespectable way of putting things, Orwell. Do you mind?

Orwell: Mmmm... Hey! Have you run another batch of jelly...

Jane: I did it while you were peeking through the keyhole while Mirabella was showering.. Yes, I saw you when I went to retrieve the crystals from Odo's Jelly Pantry ... Pathetic! Orwell! Pathetic! ... Anyhow, it's Pineapple flavour. Let's hope someone doesn't fall in it.

Bifo: Itz huppened afore. Wee moost bee carful.

Orwell: Frankly, I don't mind falling in to be honest. Especially if it's with Mirabella.

Mirabella: Yeah sure. Next time I'll do something more active to you, you Milksop.

Orwell: Dream away, Bella. I'd eat you for breakfast.

Biffo: Moofin!

Odo: Do you mind, Bif? I won't have that kind of talk in my hole if you don't mind thank you very much.

Bif: Noo. Here's Prummy wid my moofin...

Odo: Oh dear... Watch out for the jelly tub... Oh no...

[Large squelchy noise and embarrassed squeal].

Orwell: You shouldn't have left it by the door Odo... Asking for trouble if you ask me. Hey? Is Primmy wearing anything under her apron... I shouldn't look...

Mirabella: Go on, Orwell, show us your mettle and jump in there with Primmy.

Orwell: Primmy is a married woman, Bella. I have my limits.

Mirabella: You do indeed.

Odo: Primmy! Must you flounder around in there so?

Primmy: Reminds me of our holiday in Buckland last Fall, Odo my love. Shall I call in Bella?

Bella [nee Bella Buttocks): Hey? What's going on in here? Oh dear, Primmy, you've made that muffin go all moist, what with the jelly plainly unset and squelchy-fliuidy and all. As if Biffo can eat it like that?

Biffo: Oooh.. eye doen mined!

Odo:

Leaving to spend time with your wives! Are you mad Odo?!

he's off his chump.

he cant leave, I havent given permission.

What with Whoring Fatsos and such I think Little Forumshire has become thoroughly disreputable! And giving Figgy a well deserved spanking won't even begin to solve the problem.

sweet Ido she speaks good English and invited you up 3 het rooooom

though the night ran swirling and whirling I remember her whispering yes

eye nuffer noo...

Oh Odo... I've begun to change the world... You know - think globally act locally..

Do you mean you've started up a Test Site Aquaponics System in your backyard and plan to supplement the system with homegrown worms and mealworms?

My goodness! You must be psychic...

I knew you'd say that.

Orwell has worms.

It's not that bad, Odo....at least now you can drink for two.

Aquaponics! Fishes and Wormses!

Fishes and vegetables .... with wormses for fish food.... 'Organic Principles' he's saying... Orwell, that is. 'Organic Principles'? Newfangled! I say (for Little Forumshire it is! ). Orwell says he's getting 'jiggy with it' - I guess he'd know... I'm just encouraging him gently, until I know if it's profitable or not--- and respectable too - goes without saying.

Is Orwell going to show us his vegetables?

Once he's worked out how to, he plans to take a box pictogram of it... Strange device that... I think tiny elves are in it with quills and ink... in the little box thing that is... could only be invented in Forumshire... nothing like a respectable windmill or other respectabe invention... Anyhow, when he knows how to get the pictures from his box pictogram onto the netospheric orb box, he'll post it.... a few lettuces, leeks and parsley is all it is at the moment in a growbed above the fish tank... Says it's just a prototype.. You know, Orwell sounds suspiciously like Halfy sometimes -- though not as queer by any means; he doesn't blather on about meteorology for a start, then claim he's talking about the weather...

nasty wormses, do they wriggle when you jiggle Precious?

Mrs Figg, beware.... This is a serious discussion... not your vacuous Forumshire kind of discussion... {{{Meteors and sailing around Horns? Fiddlesticks! It doesn't hardly sound like proper dining room discourse! )

no wormses