The Needlehole Mysteries

Agent Nora evil ? I like how this story develops what is with DI Eldo and Mrs Figg??

Don't ask...

ooooooooh yes definately River Song, cool. I like the Dark Planet evilness too, its like The Death Star in Star Wars. nice one Eldo.

Does this mean the imperial march plays in the background when I walk down the street in Needlehole?

yes, probably Darth Vader too.

Amarië wrote:Does this mean the imperial march plays in the background when I walk down the street in Needlehole?

that would be awsome. I bet u would have a long black cape and lung problems too

Mrs Figg wrote:nice one Eldo.

Norc wrote:what is with DI Eldo and Mrs Figg??

More than I realize, perhaps.

Norc wrote:

Amarië wrote:Does this mean the imperial march plays in the background when I walk down the street in Needlehole?

that would be awsome. I bet u would have a long black cape and lung problems too

Hm, now that you mention it I have had a cough since before Christmas...

Do we have to wait until Eldo's hand is healed until we can read the rest ?

It's feeling better today so typing has become easier. Weekends seem to be when I'm most productive with writing so with luck I'll get some good work done over the next few days. Sorry for the long pauses between updates; I have to filter out the story from all the other ideas floating around in my head (plus the sprain).

Yay! Go DI Eldo and Sarge Herring!!

Eldorion wrote:Weekends seem to be when I'm most productive with writing so with luck I'll get some good work done over the next few days.

Oh we don't mind if you just serve up your usual quality, Eldo. {{{Note to self: Good one Centurion! }}}

The Mystery of Mister Figg

Part 6


“I need you to keep your personal feelings out of this, Detective Inspector,” said Superintendent Elthir. “Much greater forces than any of us are now at work. You have to return to Bree-land with Mrs Figg. If everything goes according to plan, Bree-land will become independent. If we fail, there will be a war between the Dark Planet and Forumshire.”

“I want you to concern yourself only with the role you are required to play in this plan,” continued the Superintendent. “You can not allow yourself to become distracted by the rest of the situation. You and Sgt. Herring will escort Mrs Figg back to Bree-land to rendezvous with the resistance there. She will carry a coded message to our mole in Bree-land Intelligence which she will deliver. Your job is solely to make sure she reaches the resistance safely. We can't risk having an uniformed officer of Forumshire involved any more directly.”

DI Eldo frowned and even Sgt. Herring looked a bit unsettled. “Sir,” began the Sergeant, “what role am I expected to play in this, seeing as I'm a Fjordlandian and I'm only here on an exchange program.”

“This is a highly classified mission but we have good reasons to believe we can trust you, not the least of which being the, ah, partnership you have formed with the Detective Inspector.” The Superintendent smiled. “Furthermore, the terms of the exchange program allow for unexpected developments, and we did not realize this plan would have to be put into action so soon.”

Sgt. Herring nodded. “And what is Agent Nora's role in all of this?” he asked.

“Agent Nora Herring will accompany you as far as Bree-land. I've arranged transport on a merchant ship that is secretly owned by the Police. She will know nothing of our plans and all her reports back to Bree-land Intelligence will be that everything is going perfectly according to plan. Once you dock in Bree-land, the captain of the vessel will restrain Agent Nora until the mission is completed.”

Sgt. Herring seemed reassured but the DI seethed for a moment before responding. “You don't even know if she's involved. What basis do you have to arrest her? And won't that just anger the Dark Planet.”

The Superintendent's patience seemed to be wearing thin, but he continued calmly. “Once the mission has been completed, control of Bree-land will be in our hands and the hands of the resistance. The Dark Planet has tried to maintain control of Bree-land secretly so they will be unable to speak out without admitting their own guilt and provoking international outrage. The revolution will appear to be entirely homegrown, as it were.”

“Do you honestly expect the Dark Planet to just admit that they're beaten?” asked DI Eldo. “After all they've done? They'll retaliate.”

“No,” said the Superintendent with a wicked grin. “But they will also know by that point that we are aware of their spy network, which will make them cautious. You've met one of their top agents already.”

Both Sgt. Herring and the DI appeared puzzled but Superintendent Elthir's grin grew larger. “Ambassador Amarie!” he said grandly. “She has kept a vacation house in Needlehole ever since they traced Mrs Figg there. She's a personal acquaintance of the Dark Lord – and she's at our mercy if anything goes wrong. The Dark Lord will know that.”

DI Eldo seemed to have many more objections but Sgt. Herring stood up and spoke loudly to head him off. “Thank you very much, Superintendent,” he said. “We'll do our best to make sure everything goes smoothly. If that is all, then I believe that both the DI and myself could use a little bit of time to rest and prepare for the next step.”

Sgt. Herring steered DI Eldo out of Scotshobbit Yard “for a breath of fresh air.” DI Eldo was fuming and about to turn on the Sergeant, but he was beaten to the punch. “What the hell was going on in there?!” cried the angry Fjordlandian. “I know you've got your panties in a twist over Elthir being Superintendent but for Eru's sake, can't you act like an adult?”

“I'm not the one who has anything going on with … panties!” spluttered DI Eldo. “And did you hear him?” He lowered his voice. “This mission of Elthir's is ridiculous and probably illegal. I can't believe you're just going along with it.”

“It's not a mission of Elthir's, it's a mission of all Forumshire,” Sgt. Herring hissed. “And speaking of panties, how about you stop thinking about a pair belonging to a certain Bree-lander?”

“Nora has nothing to do with this!” DI Eldo whispered back as fiercely as he could.

“Oh, are you on a first name basis with her now?” said Sgt. Herring. He gave a small chuckle but then patted the DI on the back. “Look, Eldo, I know this has been pretty bizarre for both of us, but we need to just see it through. Before you know it we'll be back in Needlehole chasing litterers and everything will be calm again.”

DI Eldo sighed deeply. “I wish I could be as positive as you are, Herring.” He paused. “I'm sorry for getting so heated,” he said finally.

“I understand,” said Sgt. Herring kindly. DI Eldo looked skeptical. “Trust me, I really do. But the Superintendent is right. We can't mix our personal feelings with the job at hand. That never leads anywhere pleasant.”

The pair of policehobbits returned to Scotshobbit Yard after unwinding for a while. They found Agent Nora and Mrs Figg waiting for them in the lobby just past the first security checkpoint. Mrs Figg was wearing handcuffs again but she winked at the DI.

“I was wondering where you to had run off to!” Agent Nora said in a pretend-scolding way, straightening the DI's jacket. “Come on, the Superintendent has everything set up! There's a pony cart waiting to take us to Admunholm and a ship there that will carry us to Bree-land. We'll have the prisoner back to Headquarters in no time.”

“That's great to hear!” said Sgt. Herring with a friendly smile plastered across his face. “Are you two ready to go then?”

“Sure thing!” said Agent Nora, not acknowledging Mrs Figg except for a brief dirty look. “What about you boys?”

“Yeah, we're good to go,” muttered DI Eldo. “There's nothing more to do here, so let's hit the road.”


The journey to Admunholm went without incident. Mrs Figg agreed to be cuffed to the back seat of the cart without protesting. Sgt. Herring sat next to her as a guard but Agent Nora insisted that DI Eldo ride up front with her.

They reached the docks of Admunholm in the late afternoon as the work day was ending. The sailors and longshoremen were departing from the docks in droves. The ships at the docks had all furled their sails but a strong wind rocked them back and forth.

DI Eldo surveyed the scene with great unease. “Sergeant, you take the prisoner to the post office and guard her there. Flash your badge and tell them you're waiting for transportation. Nora, come with me. There's something I need to take care of.”

Sgt. Herring gave Eldo a suspicious look, but the DI waved him away. Eldo and Nora walked along the docks towards Admunholm Bay. They were near the spot they had met Captain Orwell on their first journey to Bree-land.

“It's kind of exciting, isn't it?” said Agent Nora. “All this travel and intrigue. I can already feel that I'm going to miss it once it's over.”

DI Eldo mumbled an affirmation before looking around to see if anyone was within earshot. They were alone on the docks. “Look, Nora, I might be making a big mistake here, but there's something I have to tell you,” he said.

Agent Nora's eyes went wide and she blushed slightly. “Yes?” she gasped.

The DI cast another furtive glance in the direction of the post office where Sgt. Herring was waiting. “We're not going back to Bree-land for the reason you think, but I'm the only one who thinks you should know about this?”

Nora looked crestfallen for a split-second but quickly composed herself. “What do you mean, not for the reason I think?”

“I mean that there's even more intrigue involved than you think. Tell me, what do you know about the Dark Planet?”

“I know that it's a large and powerful nation in the south of Middle-earth,” said Agent Nora slowly. “I could tell you the capital city and major rivers and a bunch of other things I learned in grade school but I don't see where you're going with this.”

“No, the thing about Dark Planet is that they're conquerors,” said DI Eldo. “They tried to conquer Forumshire once. You've probably read the histories.”

“Of course I have,” said Agent Nora. “Forumshire was once located where Bree-land is today, but there was a war and the inhabitants of Forumshire moved westwards. Later, the vacant but fertile area was re-settled and became Bree-land.”

“There's more to it than that,” said DI Eldo. “Bree-land was settled – colonized – by agents of the Dark Planet. They took all the scattered refugees of Forumshire who hadn't fled and many of the nearby inhabitants and gathered them together into a new country under the thumb of the Dark Lord.”

“That's preposterous!” laughed Agent Nora. “Bree-land is independent, we always have been! What in Middle-earth has gotten into you, Eldo?”

“Nothing.” DI Eldo shook his head. “Who rules Bree-land?”

“No one in particular, I guess,” said Agent Nora. “We don't have a Lord or an Admin like you do. We're more of a direct democratic society.”

“But who is in charge of the police and the Intelligence Service?” pressed DI Eldo.

“The Director, who reports to the people of Bree-land in Assembly,” said Agent Nora. “That's it. Except this one time when we had an inspection and there was a stranger with the Director who no one recognized.”

DI Eldo's eyes lit up. “Was he wearing a robe with a hood that covered his face?” he asked.

“Actually, as a matter of fact, he was,” said Agent Nora. “How did you know that?” she asked, puzzled.

“Because he was sitting in on the meeting when Sgt. Herring and I talked to the Director,” said DI Eldo. “He's no Bree-lander. That was the Dark Lord Taz himself, checking in on his secret colony.”

“How could you possibly know that?” asked Agent Nora incredulously. “Did you take off his hood and ask for a picture ID?”

“Of course not,” scoffed DI Eldo. “Do you know of anyone in Bree-land who would have the authority to inspect the Intelligence Service without even revealing his identity?”

“No,” admitted Agent Nora. “But that doesn't prove your crazy idea. And it doesn't explain what you meant about us going to Bree-land for a reason other than what I thought.”

“Nora, please,” said DI Eldo. “I'm feeling really over my head with all this and I need your help. I don't know who else to turn to.”

Agent Nora's face softened. “I want to help you, Eldo,” she said softly. “But I don't even know what you're talking about and you're really worrying me.”

DI Eldo her in the eyes. “If the Dark Planet really does secretly control Bree-land, would you want to stop them so your country can be free?”

“Of course,” said Agent Nora. “I'm nobody's puppet.”

“I know,” said DI Eldo. He smiled. “That's why I know I can trust you even though the others don't want you to know this.”

“Know what?” asked Agent Nora, who sounded very concerned.

“The Superintendent's plan is for us to take Mrs Figg back to Bree-land to rendezvous with the native Bree-lander movement for independence and a member of the Intelligence Service who works with them. Mrs Figg knows these people. They'll be able to expose and expell the Dark Planet's forces in Bree-land.”

“Do you really think you can trust a murderer?” asked Agent Nora. “This is just too much to be true. I'm sorry, Eldo.” She turned to walk away.

“If you get on the ship the Superintendent hired, you're going to be in jail for a very long time!” said DI Eldo. “I'm trying to help you.”

Agent Nora turned back around to face him. She looked very unhappy. “What do you recommend?”


“Absolutely not.” Sgt. Herring was annoyed with the others for taking so long to get back, and now he was indignant at the DI's plan. “Completely out of the question. We already have a ship ready to take us. There's no reason whatsoever to change our plans at the last minute.”

Agent Nora stared uneasily at the Sergeant, trying to read him. Mrs Figg remained quiet, still playing the role of the passive prisoner.

“I don't want to pull rank over you,” said DI Eldo. “You're a friend first and foremost and I want to keep it that way.”

Sgt. Herring's color rose. “This is about–” He cut himself off and nodded at Agent Nora. “You really aren't going to budge on this one, are you?”

“What difference does it make, really?” said DI Eldo, trying to be diplomatic. “We get to Bree-land, we finish the mission. What does it matter how we traveled?”

Sgt. Herring gave a look that said it mattered quite a bit how they traveled but remained in silent thought. DI Eldo took this as an encouraging sign and continued. “I already got in touch with Captain Orwell. He happened to be in port at the same time as us. They call that fate.”

DI Eldo gave what he hoped was a winning smile but Sgt. Herring laughed. “I know you don't believe in fate,” he said. “But I can tell I'm not going to win this argument. Just know that I will be watching to make sure that the mission goes off without a hitch.”

“Of course,” said DI Eldo hurriedly.

He rushed everyone out the door before the Sergeant could ask any more questions. They marched down the docks at a brisk pace, nearing the famed pirate's pier. “Why do I feel like I've been here before,” grumbled Sgt. Herring, keeping a firm grip on their 'prisoner's' arm.

Captain Orwell was waiting for them next to his ship. “There you are!” he cried as they approached. “Good, good, all here. No time to lose, I have a very important deadline to meet in a few days! You're lucky I can afford to take you out of my way to Bree-land. Or you're lucky that you can afford it!”

Orwell laughed nervously at his own joke while the others paused to catch their breath. “Ready, then?” the Captain asked. “Good to see the three of you again, and your prisoner....” He trailed off.

“Is there something wrong, Captain?” asked DI Eldo brusquely.

“I've seen that woman before!” said Orwell. “A long time ago. But it can't be.” He fainted.

DON'T STOP ELDO! I COMMAND YOU AS YOUR QUEEN TO WORK TIRELESSLY THROUGH THE NIGHT ON A SPECIAL CAFFINATED BUKIE TO GET THE NEXT PART OUT!!!! I have a hunch I know who Captain Orwell might be

Tinuviel wrote:DON'T STOP ELDO! I COMMAND YOU AS YOUR QUEEN TO WORK TIRELESSLY THROUGH THE NIGHT ON A SPECIAL CAFFINATED BUKIE TO GET THE NEXT PART OUT!!!! I have a hunch I know who Captain Orwell might be

I could not agree more!! Obey your queen!!

The plot thickens!!, Amarie Double Agent for the Dark Planet?????and so innocent looking too!!!

TRUST NO ONE........!!!!

Here's how I imagine how things would end up should Forumshire get involved in a war with the Dark Planet. (It's quite crappy quality, but I haven't had much time. So so many newspapers to read...)




I am also CONVINCED that ambassador Amarie has mr Figgs frozen in carbonite in her mysterious study.

Odo has put me onto his Solicitors, Banks, Burrowes and Banks, Eldo. Perhaps you made a mistake using the word 'fainted', hmmm?

OOOOOooooo! that is truly creepy, specially Orwell as C3PO or is it R2D2? I can never remember which is which. He does have some brass neck however.

I didn't know you saw Petty that way, Amarie! {{{Loved the newspapers, by the way! And at least I'd be able to move. }}}

It came natural with Petty already wearing a skirt and makeup. ( )He'd make a cute pet. And the bling bling chain keeps him from falling into boiling geysers and such, it's for his own safety really.

Now if the boys wonder why I didn't put mrs Figgs in the golden bikini (I am sure you have already created that mental image long time ago). I imagine she has a higher executive leader role in a high profile DP/Forumshire business where she can wear what the heck she wants to. Red latex perhaps.

I suppose Mrs Figg knows what people like regardless of what forum they hail from.

Spoiler:

"He'd make a cute pet."- Amarie

I choose to interpret that to mean that you don't mind the bikini.

(And I am sure it would be wise to have a nurse nearby, since the picture clearly states that I am about to die from obesity. Future's not looking too bright. )

My rage at the bikini is too great for words is all Amarie!! And I recommend a full buckie diet for your weight problem combined with a 40 a day smoking habit. Those pounds will soon fall off- you never see a fat alcoholic or cancer patient!