Merry Christmas - 2017

bungobaggins wrote:

malickfan wrote:So um, is it normal for a 'friend' to exchange about two dozen texts with you over two days discussing a simple meet up, end almost every text with a emoticon or smiley and then apologise for asking so many questions?  

We've known each for just under a month and have only met maybe five times previously in total, she told me she doesn't generally socialise that much so perhaps she is just nervous or excited that someone new is willing to talk to her about stuff? or just she just want to gauge my personality a bit better?

I wouldn't read too much into that. Especially the emojis, don't read into the use of emojis (except if she's sending you kissy faces or hearts, then it's pretty clear what's going on). The worst thing you can do right now is over-complicate things, or jump the gun. Definitely be aware of her body language during the "date", though. But don't make it look like you're focusing on it. This is just something that comes with practice.

OK, my phone is so shit and cheap (paid like £8-10 for it but it gets the job done) so I can't actually read or text most emojis but we've exchanged lots of (^_^), yeah I'm definitely not trying to read too much into anything at this point, will just try to relax and have fun tomorrow.

She simply sounds nervous imo. Just try to keep your shoulders down and have fun with your new friend, like you said. Friendship is wonderful.

malickfan wrote:So um, is it normal for a 'friend' to exchange about two dozen texts with you over two days discussing a simple meet up, end almost every text with a emoticon or smiley and then apologise for asking so many questions?  

We've known each for just under a month and have only met maybe five times previously in total, she told me she doesn't generally socialise that much so perhaps she is just nervous or excited that someone new is willing to talk to her about stuff? or just she just want to gauge my personality a bit better?

She seems to like you, but forget you know that. Just nod your head at the fact you don't have to be nervous and get on with it. At this point, ALL it means is you don't have to be nervous. If you're relaxed she'll take it from there, where ever 'there' is. Leave that as a mystery.

It can be difficult determining whether someone likes you as a friend or likes you as potentially something else, especially if you're both nervous and outside of your comfort zones, which is what it sounds like. I'd advise against assuming that there's anything more going on than just hanging out as friends; certainly not at this point. You don't want to psych yourself out but also there's nothing wrong with being "just" friends since those kinda relationships have a lot of value.

Eldorion wrote: also there's nothing wrong with being "just" friends since those kinda relationships have a lot of value.

Yep, friendships are important and amazing things. They've gotten me through some hard times, and I've tried to pay them back when I can. You can't have too many friends (except maybe on facebook ). Then, every once in awhile, they magically grow into other things....

A friendship can last forever & feels like a "hand in a glove". When all else goes belly up having a friend there really helps, even if they don't say anything, knowing they are there is all you need. You don't always get that from a lover ?

malickfan wrote:

Forest Shepherd wrote:If she doesn't like Tolkien I don't know if there's much of a future in it. That's okay for now, but just saying...

If she likes The Hobbit films, I'm going to call off the whole thing

I should hope so too.

malickfan wrote:

Eldorion wrote:

Forest Shepherd wrote:If she doesn't like Tolkien I don't know if there's much of a future in it. That's okay for now, but just saying...

Things to say to your date when you're a Tolkien fan:

I'm still not entirely sure if this a casual date or a date date, I just asked her if she wanted to hang out as friends and shes seems pretty keen, but I'm not going to make any stupid or sudden romantic moves as she's as inexperienced as me, I'll wait and see how it goes then talk to her properly afterwards, I'll be happy remaining friends and if we do decide to go down the romantic route I'm going to take things as slowly as she is comfortable with and it will be an entirely mutual decision, I will probably only be able to hang out at weekends though, so it probably makes sense to be careful and take things slowly.

(Of course, that's assuming she even wants to see me again, not actually nervous (well, a bit) just a bit baffled that I've landed myself in this situation after all these years, never really had a date casual or otherwise, though I have hung out with platonic female friends many times).

if you get nervous just imagine us invisible and protecting you, bit like when Sirius, Lupin and James and Lily Potter come back to protect Harry before the battle. Only try not to think too much about whats under Petty's kilt, and you should be ok.

ok ok if that doesn't work imagine the Queen letting a big one off.

malickfan wrote:So um, is it normal for a 'friend' to exchange about two dozen texts with you over two days discussing a simple meet up, end almost every text with a emoticon or smiley and then apologise for asking so many questions?  

We've known each for just under a month and have only met maybe five times previously in total, she told me she doesn't generally socialise that much so perhaps she is just nervous or excited that someone new is willing to talk to her about stuff? or just she just want to gauge my personality a bit better?

there are about a million videos on youtube about not overthinking/over analyzing things.. try that.

It's important to not be too self-absorbed: spending a lot of time thinking about what other people think about you, that sort of thing. It can be a kind of selfishness that keeps you from recognizing when other people are hurting and need your help. And selfishness can't be a good trait to be emphasizing at the beginning of any kind of relationship, surely.

Hey guys my sort of but not really a date today went really really well , we walked around town for a few hours talking about constantly about everything and anything (and flirting a bit...), she's a bit of a sheltered geek like me and is going through similar issues in her personal life, we clicked straight away as friends and it felt like I'd known her a lot longer, she's only around 18 months younger than me (and very attractive) and texted me afterwards today was great and that she had really enjoyed herself.

Went and watched the new Jumanji movie as well which was surprisingly good and kept her giggling all the way through (me too actually, Jack Black was hilarious as the avatar of a self absorbed teenager it girl trapped in a fat middle aged guys body), she insisted on buying the tickets though despite my attempts to be the gentleman.

We did briefly discuss where we saw this going, and neither of us wants to rule out a relationship but we've agreed to take things very slow and get to know each other better as friends before we even think about going down that route, even if we don't she seems an awesome girl so far, and I think I've got the beginning of a great friendship developing, she has a part time job with erratic hours and I'm busy during the weekdays but we've made tentative plans to meet up again soon. I was pleasantly surprised how calm I was, just acted myself.

PS She has seen the LOTR films (even the Ralph Bakshi one) , read The Hobbit and seen AUJ she's not a hardcore fans but said she enjoyed them, though I did my civic duty as a citizen of Forumshire and warned her off the other Hobbit films

Mrs Figg wrote:

malickfan wrote:

Forest Shepherd wrote:If she doesn't like Tolkien I don't know if there's much of a future in it. That's okay for now, but just saying...

If she likes The Hobbit films, I'm going to call off the whole thing

I should hope so too.

She's only seen the first one but liked it, I can just about forgive her for that I suppose...

Mrs Figg wrote:Only try not to think too much about whats under Petty's kilt, and you should be ok.

I imagine that's even more terrifying than what is under Professor Quirrel's turban

Well done!

Forest Shepherd wrote:Well done!

hoooraaah!

malickfan wrote:...I've never been on a date in my life and I don't expect that to change anytime soon   (and if by some weird miracle or chance it did happen, I'd be so weirded out and terrified I'd probably screw things up anyway )

Perhaps a bit premature to classify it as a date, but wow, things have certainly changed in the last two weeks...

  sounds cool

Great stuff Malick !!! Sounds like you really enjoyed yourself & feel a better man

Mrs Figg wrote:

ok ok if that doesn't work imagine the Queen letting a big one off.

When that tablecloth flew............................ oh, I was gone man !

malickfan wrote:

malickfan wrote:...I've never been on a date in my life and I don't expect that to change anytime soon   (and if by some weird miracle or chance it did happen, I'd be so weirded out and terrified I'd probably screw things up anyway )

Perhaps a bit premature to classify it as a date, but wow, things have certainly changed in the last two weeks...

they have a tendencey to do if you let them

Good deal Malick. Just go with it, let it happen as it will.

I'm really glad to hear things went so well, Malick! Congrats and best wishes for things continuing to look up more often than not.

Well Malick, at this point probably the best thing we all can do is to bugger off and leave you to your own devices.