A tale of trolls and unfortunate encounters

Oh dear me...

I know the feeling Norc! This happened, except much worse, when I started the Roll to Dodge game.

“Who the ‘ell ar yoo?” the dwarf huffed at the two taller figures, then squinted his eyes.. “wait.. I know who yoo ar” he smiled with a surprising amount of teeth and shielded his family jewels, “ye’r Azriel the Witch! I’ve heard aboot yoo”. Azriel pushed her chin forward.
“yes, that’s me, Azriel of Arctander, Azriel of Many Colours, Azriel the Terrible,” her eyes lit up with an icy flame, “Azriel the master of Blue Lightening, She Who Has Travelled Far, Azriel with a capital A, Azriel the fab-“
“Yeah, as I said, I know who yoo ar!” He waved her off. “And I am Petty the Bloody Brilliant at His Job, now who is this prancy elfling?”
“M-m-m-my n-n-name is Eldorion Wilwarin. I-i-i-t m-m-means butt-butt-butt-“ His face went red and with a final voice-crack shifted his attention to the very green grass under his feet.
“Hello Eldo-butt” If the dwarf was taller he would have sat down as you do with very shy two-year-olds, instead he went terribly close and put on the sweetest smile he could master. Which for obvious reasons only made matters worse. “Yer parents were real arses, weren’t they? Who names their child butt?”
“n-n-n-n-n”
“You stupid moron” Azriel gave the dwarf a friendly slap at the pack of his head. “Wilwarin is quenya for butterfly!”
“oh, sorry mate” Petty son of Tyrant II gave Eldorion a friendly pat on the back that almost knocked him over. “I didn’t know. I only speak Kûzdul and common…”
“it’s ok-okay” He have him a weak smile while trying to get his breath back.
“So” Azriel flicked her silver hair behind her shoulders. “What in Eru’s name are we doing here?”
“Never mind that, where the ‘ell is here?” They looked around, no one scratching their heads because that would mess up their hair.
“I suggest we build a boat and travel the ‘ell away from here”
“Th-th-that’s a gr-gr-gr-great idea.. b-b-b-but there’s nothing w-w-w-we can b-b-b-build it w-w-with..” Eldorion stammered while twinning his blond hair between two, long, elegant fingers. “a-a-a-nd we do-don’t h-h-h-h-ha-“
“yes, we don’t have the equipment.” Azriel finished for him. (“do-do-don’t i-i-i-in-in-in-int-int-int-inter-inter-ter-ter-ter-ter-ter-upt m-m-m-m-m-me!”)
“well, there’s no way I’m gonna climb up any of those two mountains.” Petty pointed at the two very steep and unwelcoming mountains.
“I’m with you on that one..” Azriel gazed up the valley. “Follow the river upstream it is then.” There were no protests so they started off towards the forest. However as soon as they were between the trees they realized they should’ve done a perception check and maybe even a stealth check, because suddenly there was a high-pitch scream
“HYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAA” and something dark and clumpy threw itself at Eldorion.

I love the word play Norc, well done!

I do a saving throw against sudden Halfwises (at least that's my guess as to who this is ).





This is fun Norc, thanks for writing this!

Oooh its like an old Fighting Fantasy book by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingston!

Whatever the thing is that has thrown itself at Eldo should get a good solid whack from a buckie bottle (blunt end) , preferably not enough to kill it otherwise it cant be questioned afterwards for the location of the nearest pub

The creature bit Eldorion Wilwarin in the shoulder, his current hit points are 10/12. Petty son of Tyrant yodels and hits the thing across the head with his bare hands. He hurts his hands, current hit point 8/12. Azriel of Arctander is the more diplomatic of the three, uses a levitation charm on all three of them and stops the fight. Her current hit points: 12/12. Now that the turmoil has settled down they can finally see what attacked them. A small creature, no more than half a meter (yes we’re using the metric system!) and with big, black, wet eyes. It’s overall appearance was that of a hedgehog, a rather large and green hedgehog.
“I-I-I-IT BIT ME!” Eldorion shrieked in a high pitch voice.
“my fists” Petty hulked. His fists looked like two tiny hedgehogs. Azriel rolled her eyes.
“ ‘ow dare you levitate my arze in such ah disgraceful manner? ME?! Ze one and only Shep’erd of the Forest?!” The creature snarled with a French accent, showing a million tiny, sharp teeth.
“I am so sorry, your highness” Azriel bowed and let them down. “My mistake. I could not recognize you when you came at such a fantastic speed and agility.” The Shepherd straighten up, clearly flattered. “Yes, I am no slow creature; people often mistake me for one.” He continued in a very French accent. “but ‘oo are you, and w’at makes you zink you can just waltz into my forest like zat?!”
“we are ever so sorry, dear Forest Shepherd. You see-“ Azriel looked at the elf and the dwarf for help in her diplomatic ways, but Petty looked way to grumpy and Eldorion Wilwarin was about to cry…
“We are terribly lost.” She searched for words, but she was soon interrupted anyways.
“Ah, but you see, mademoiselle, I knowz this forest like ze back of my ‘and. Can I not be at any ‘elp in your epic quest, whatever zat may be?”
“That would be such an honour, to have the marvellous Shepherd as our guide” Azriel beamed.
“great job, Az” Petty nodded and gave her a spiky thumbs-up.
“A-a-a-sk it if it kn-kn-kn-knows where I can g-g-g-get a band-aid”.
“A band aid you say?” the Forest Shepherd turned to the elf. “I sure know ze way, darling. Follow me!” Then he rolled up into a ball and started rolling away into the forest. The others ran and followed as best as they could.

I'm not quite certain how I feel about being represented by a quill-covered pig, but oh well.

Not sure where the french accent is coming from though.

hedgehogs are cute and dangerous ok!

If you say so.
I don't have them here where I live. Or... in the US at all, last I checked. There are armadillos down south. I guess that's kind of similar.

Forest Shepherd wrote:If you say so.
I don't have them here where I live. Or... in the US at all, last I checked. There are armadillos down south. I guess that's kind of similar.

Wait, really? I guess the ones I've seen at nature centers and the like were all imported specimens.

Norc wrote:Then he rolled up into a ball and started rolling away into the forest.

All I could think of:



NB why is it so hard to find a decent rolling droideka GIF?

A band-aid?!!! Pub! I said ask it where the nearest pub is!!!

Haha, Petty I think I've got your style of role-play down pat: "Find the nearest pub!"

Ovcorse, thisz orl miks luddle senz too me.